This is the kinda movie that just doesn’t get made anymore. You got a simple little action picture
premise involving a heist with the specific twist that it takes place during a
hurricane on the Gulf Coast. And while
there’s an entire laundry list of items that are stolen from Twister it’s definitely more of a Hard Rain type rip off (and better too).
Based on the poster I thought the whole thing was gonna take
place on the road but thankfully no. The
good guys and bad guys run around an evacuated town battling each other in the
streets with high winds creating dangerous projectiles out of boats and hubcaps
and there’s flooding and almost constant rainfall. Everyone needs to keep an eye on this shit if
they not only want to take down their enemies but flat out survive the day. Smartly the filmmakers also take the fights
inside deserted buildings away from the elements so there’s variety to the set
pieces keeping things fresh. Oh yea, and
they’re all fun.
However, this movie does do the very silly thing of turning
an everyday Joe into an action hero like recluse computer hacker Sandra Bullock
in The Net and mountain
climber/wildlife photographer Chris O’Donnell in Vertical Limit. This time
it’s meteorologist Toby Kebbell (Kong: Skull
Island) who somehow finds ways to outsmart the professional villains who
clearly should’ve killed him in an instant.
But at least Kebbell is teamed up with treasury agent Maggie Grace (The Takens) to increase his odds
slightly. So this is more of a Broken Arrow Christian Slater and Samantha
Mathis kinda partnership except the male/female roles are reversed.
Damn guys I gotta tell you, I didn’t think I’d enjoy this as
much as I did but it feels like such a slice of the 90’s that I took to it
immediately. For most of you I’m sure
you’ll roll your eyes or dismiss it outright.
But in my book it’s another gem from Rob Cohen (The Fast and the Furious, The Boy Next Door).
The Boondock
Saints
Well it only took me twenty goddamn years but The Boondock Saints can finally be crossed
off the list. I have seen Overnight though which chronicles
writer/director Troy Duffy being shot out of a fucking cannon from Nowheres-ville
to Number-One-A-Lister-Land with everyone in Hollywood wanting a piece of him
for his “genius” first ever script until they actually meet him and then no one
can stand the fuckin’ guy. It’s been a
long time but I remember the doc being a fascinating Cinderella story and the
self-destruction you witness in real time is quite amazing.
As for the movie that caused the initial stir, it’s kinda terrible. The story and characters are very simple and
not nearly fleshed out enough (two Irish brothers (Sean Patrick Flanery (Saw 3D: The Final Chapter)) and Norman
Reedus (8 MM)) decide to murder mob
goons and bosses because well, I don’t know), the editing is awkward at times,
especially the opening credits and almost every scene transition, and it tries
so hard to be cool with some non-linear storytelling, awful jokes and
nonsensical character gimmicks. It’s a
dumb picture that thinks it’s hot shit which makes perfect sense considering
who made the damn thing.
Look, I think I waited long enough to give the film a fair
shake but another unfortunate aspect is this movie hasn’t aged well. It was clearly going for that early to mid
90’s edgy indie vibe that Quinten Tarantino and Robert Rodriguez
pioneered. But this comes off more like
an imitation of that style and not a true brother in arms that shows a vision
and passion for cinema. Duffy seems to
only be concerned about guns, tough talk, violent shit, goofy moments and much
less concerned about story, character development, relationships, motivations,
connections, etc.
Perhaps the most implausible fact to comprehend though is
that Saints is still a title a lot of
folks know. It never really went away in
twenty years. It’s always streaming
somewhere, it gets a high rating on IMDb and the Rotten Tomatoes audience score
and a sequel eventually got made with the same principal players ten years
later. In terms of sticking in people’s
memories and having a continued presence I gotta admit that’s impressive. Otherwise, it’s stupid.
The Dirt
If you’re gonna make a biopic on Mötley fuckin’ Crüe
it better be entertaining as shit and wow, this delivers. For a band with such a wild reputation and
more crazy stories than anyone else it seems like an impossible task to cram
all the zaniness in and still have actual characters with arcs where you care
about them. And they fucking did
it! Each member has their own clear
identity, demons they need to deal with, and their friendship and music makes
them stronger together. They fight, they
hug, they laugh, they cry, it’s beautiful and tragic all at once.
To be perfectly honest I’m not really a Mötley
Crüe
fan but from what I know this film seems to capture the attitude and essence of
the band very well. All four original
members produced it (based on their book they wrote together) which helped I’m
sure. Plus they managed to get Jeff
Tremaine of Jackass fame to direct
and he knows a little something about out of control personalities.
If you’re looking for a party you’ve found it.
Dark Angel (aka I Come in Peace)
Dark Angel (aka I Come in Peace) most definitely ranks
third in Craig R. Baxley’s trilogy of features from the late 80’s to early 90’s
(the excellent Action Jackson is
number two and the bona fide masterpiece Stone
Cold is number one in case you were wondering). And I think it’s the sci-fi elements that don’t
quite work. It feels like a regular
urban cop action film that gets sporadically interrupted by some unrelated
alien bullshit.
The biggest influence on this picture is undoubtedly The Terminator, but instead of a robot
and a human from the future chasing and battling each other all over LA it’s
two aliens (that look exactly like humans) chasing and battling each other all
over Houston. We find out later one is a
cop and the other is a drug manufacturer/dealer/lord. This was obviously meant to be the main plot
but it feels more like the B story.
Again, the impression I get is that the filmmakers are way more
interested in the non-alien shit and reluctantly pivot away every so often.
Even the action isn’t up to Baxley’s high standards with
smaller ideas and less impressive sequences on the whole. Maybe the biggest stunt is a car chase
through a mall but it’s very brief and nothing like on the scale of Invasion U.S.A. or The Blues Brothers. Dolph
Lundgren (Universal Soldier: Regeneration)
doesn’t get to show off much of his fighting skills either which is a waste. He mostly squabbles with FBI agent Brian
Benben (Radioland Murders) who he’s
forced to team up with to help solve his partner’s murder, which remarkably has
nothing at all to do with the two aliens brawling around town. Also, Dolph plays it smarmy here which isn’t
the best brand of Dolph in my opinion.
I’m not saying you shouldn’t see this, especially if you’re
a fan of Baxley’s other films, but don’t expect the same level of
greatness. I mean it does have the
infamous line “Fuck you spaceman!” and it’s just as awkward to read in this
context as it is to hear from our hero right before he delivers the (second to
last) death blow. That’s not bad. The real last line is even better but I’ll
leave that for you to discover.
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