Thursday, May 15, 2014

Sexy Thrillers Round 3 Wrap Up

And so the latest round of sexy thrillers comes to a close.  Here’s what I watched:

The clear winner of this bunch is Single White Female.  It was much better than I expected with a genuinely creepy atmosphere at times, surprisingly good acting and a little more sex than your average film.  So if you haven’t seen that one yet check it out.

Runner up would go to Species II.  Another unexpected…well not gem…near gem?  It’s no forgotten masterpiece but it’s a very fun movie.  Between all of the neat creative practical effects and the fast moving story it’s easy to get into.  That would be a good hanging out picture for you and your friends.

The worst film is a tie between Single White Female 2 and The Roommate.  They’re both unnecessary and just dreadful all around.  Avoid those ones as best you can.

That leaves Dressed to Kill and The Big Easy.  I didn’t care for either of them but I can see big Hitchcock buffs getting a kick out of Dressed and people who like really corny shit might be into The Big Easy.  But neither one offered a great time or much to think about.  There are better Brian De Palma and Dennis Quaid movies out there.  I would recommend The Untouchables or Innerspace.

I hope you guys had fun going on this journey with me.  I’ve got a couple of other ideas up next so stay tuned to see what they are.  There’s one project in particular that I’m interested in doing but it’s going to be pretty tedious so we’ll see.  Anyway, thanks for reading folks!        

Tuesday, May 13, 2014

H.R. Giger Dead

Sadly out of the blue H.R. Giger died.  We all love Alien, Aliens and even those other two sequels.  That title character has given us so much joy over the years with its humanoid design, savage disposition and clever tactics.  The Alien alien is a classic and will remain a prominent and special creature in our lives. 

So here’s to ya Hans Rudolf, wherever you are.  Thanks for creating one of the most badass and iconic images in cinema.   

Wednesday, May 7, 2014

Species II

Ok, you’re probably thinking “what the fuck is this?  Where’s Species 1, asshole?”  Well I did initially watch Species in order to include it in this round of sexy thrillers (admittedly it’s more of a sexy action/horror kind of thing), but it wasn’t how I remembered.  Nobody gives a shit about Species anymore but way back it was a hot item and had a reputation of being every little boy’s dream come true (lots of nudity, alien shit, killing, etc.).  Now while Natasha Henstridge’s bare boobies do get a bunch of screen time there’s only one sex scene and the whole vibe is too far removed from a traditional sexy thriller for me to want to include it here.  Overall it’s just not that great of a movie.  The casting is really wacky though (Ben Kingsley, Forest Whitaker, Alfred Molina, Michael Madsen) but that’s the most interesting thing about it.

Luckily I remembered the sequel being equally sexy, if not sexier.  And you know what?  I like this one better.  I cared more about the characters this time around.  I can’t really tell you why though.  Maybe it’s because the threat feels more imminent.  The plot involves black alien goo infecting a space crew on Mars.  When they get back to Earth they have this insatiable appetite for sex which will instantly produce an alien baby.  Patrick (Justin Lazard (Universal Soldier: The Return)) is the space crew chief and becomes the main villain.  He also makes little alien babies left, right and center.  That’s why the stakes are raised this time, because there’re more murdering and baby making so things feel more like they’re going to hell.   

Part 2 is much more imaginative too.  The scene where an alien babe bursts out of the stomach of a woman while Patrick is having sex with another chick is a highlight.  Also, the end battle with the bigger and badder male version of the alien (as opposed to the female kind in part 1) is pretty tremendous.  It’s all practical effects and the design is fuckin’ awesome.  Man does this thing look menacing and like it would completely tear you to shreds in a second.  I honestly don’t know what they were thinking with having an all CGI alien for the finale in Species.  It looked like total shit.  Amazingly three years later they scaled back the CGI (which was only ramping up since about 1993) and made one kick ass animatronic/puppet.

Species II
In an early version of the script there was probably a big fight sequence with the alien babies in their full adult form.  That seems like a gimmie to me so I’m sure because of budget restraints and expectations it was cut (Species was a hit but a moderate one, nothing like Batman Forever or Apollo 13 which were also released in 1995 (bet you never thought Apollo 13 would come up in a piece about Species II)).  Also, the final fight could’ve been longer and with Eve (Henstridge) involved more.  She gets sidelined as soon as blows are exchanged and remains there.  But I will definitely say that the people who made this clearly didn’t try to let a limited budget get them down.

Of course it’s contrived that they brought back Natasha Henstridge but they actually use her to great effect.  You see if the male and female aliens mate then they’ll make an unstoppable offspring so the threat is legit.  Yea I know it’s lame that they turned Henstridge good for most of the movie but at the same time it was cool that she’s weak to the male alien’s musk.  Once Patrick shows up she just has to fuck him even though she knows it could lead to the end of the human race.  That’s passable and maybe even good writing in my opinion.

Look, I know how this sounds but I had a fuckin’ blast watching this film.  It’s definitely a stretch to put the sexy thriller label on this but it does have a fair amount of both sex and thrills.  More so than the first.  The only problem is that you should watch the first one in order to better understand and appreciate the sequel.  But I don’t see that as so much of a problem and more of a solution, a solution to your unfamiliarity with the Species series.  Give it a chance guys.

Sex Scenes: Two.  One is that incredible double up gruesome birth scene and the other is your average type deal without an alien busting its way through some poor woman’s stomach.

After Sex Scenes: Officially only one but I don’t think I’ve seen a movie with so much implied sex in it.  I mean every one of those alien kids that Patrick accumulates in his barn (there must be like twenty by the end) and every female corpse you see means that sex happened.  That’s a ton of fucking (and dying a horrible death) my friends.

Strange Cameos: The always enjoyable James Cromwell (L.A. Confidential, Babe, Eraser) plays Patrick’s father.  He’s especially good at playing an asshole, which he does here.

George Dzundza is another always enjoyable guy to watch.  He plays hardass military brass in this which suits him perfectly.  You might recognize him as Nick's partner, Gus, in Basic Instinct but he's been in a bunch of stuff like Dangerous Minds and The Deer Hunter.

That scar and fucked up eye is a really nice touch
Famed comedian, author, actor and conspiracy theorist Richard Belzer (Homicide: Life on the Street, The Wrong Guys) has a brief cameo as the fucking President of the United States.

Peter Boyle (Young Frankenstein, Everybody Loves Raymond) has a small but important part as a scientist that knew all along about the alien DNA/sludge on Mars.  But those other scientists (and the government) got tired of hearing about it so they threw him in a mental institution.  Nice work fellas.

The Autopsy
Species 2 —