Prime Cut

Let’s take a walk on the wilder side of 70’s action thrillers.  And that’s mainly due to the story involving young women trapped in white slavery who are harvested for meat.  I’ll let that sink in for a min.

Mary Ann (Gene Hackman (Narrow Margin)) runs this operation out of his legit meat plant (where he apparently also manufactures dope) on the farmlands outside Kansas City.  He stiffed the Chicago Irish mob for half a mill which by itself is a big no no.  But then on top of that he kills some low level goons who try to collect even turning one poor bastard into sausage.  Yuck!  I’d say the message he’s sending is loud and clear.  So now it’s up to enforcer Nick (Lee Marvin (Emperor of the North)) to set this asshole straight and get the money.

The whole atmosphere of this movie is strange.  The concept of gangsters butting heads is as old as time but the added angle of human meat production definitely makes things unsettling.  It’s almost like we took a wrong turn and somehow wound up in a very peculiar corner of the Texas Chainsaw universe where they do things a little different.

We’re introduced to the meat plant first in the opening credits that takes you through the whole process, from cattle off the truck to packaging preformed hamburger patties.  They make sure to let you know this isn’t your ordinary factory by quickly flashing a human mixed in with the other carcasses going off to the grinder.  I could see this part alone making some folks feel a touch squeamish.

Later on we meet Mary Ann and his boys during what seems like either an auction or a dinner party (or both).  They’re in a barn full of guests with a banquet laid out and all these streamers and there are girls locked in enclosures laying on bales of hay naked all drugged up to the point where they look dead.  People gawk at them like they’re livestock.  Maybe they’re bidding on them or maybe Mary Ann is showing off his inventory but either way the sight is absolutely fucked up.

Hackman plays such an amazing asshole too where he smiles almost constantly while insulting the shit out of everyone.  I do kinda love that we’re introduced to him while he’s shoveling an enormous plate of nasty greasy brown meat into his mouth.  He’s basically arrogance incarnate with no intention of stopping his operation or handing over a penny to Nick.

Mary Ann’s brother, Weenie (Gregory Walcott (The Sugarland Express)), is another piece of crap that Nick has to deal with.  He runs the plant, is always grimy, smirks at everything and is constantly eating some piece of meat, usually hot dogs (hence his name).  He’s portrayed as a dummy for sure being the muscle of the outfit.  And there’s a part where we’re led to think he likes to wear women’s clothes but maybe that isn’t really the case.  Plus the villains names are Mary Ann and Weenie (both are dudes) which could point to gay undertones.  I dunno.  It’s pretty blurry.

Marvin’s badassery is cranked all the way up as usual here with his take-no-shit attitude, few words spoken, menacing glare and suave way with the ladies.  Marvin telegraphs so much with his body language, eyes and simple gestures.  He’s without a doubt the coolest motherfucker in the room. 

Anyway, what’s kinda funny is Nick doesn’t seem to care about the meat harvesting or the dope dealing.  He’s there because Mary Ann owes a ton of mullah and offed a few of his boss’/partner’s guys.  Order needs to be restored.  And of course he’s up to the task.

Nick damn near kills himself to complete his mission when it’s clear Mary Ann won’t fork over the dough.  He works his way through several shootouts, gets chased by one of those monstrous combine harvesters with spinning blades on the front and there’s a great sequence where he hijacks an eighteen-wheeler and crashes it right into the meat plant’s huge greenhouse.  He doesn’t give a fuck.

Perhaps Nick’s motivations change a bit after he steals a girl named Poppy (Sissy Spacek (The Ring Two) in her first movie) who’s destined for the chopping block.  She tells him about the “orphanage” where the girls come from (really just a prison to raise and keep future victims) and how scared they get.  Once Nick’s face to face with the reality of the situation I think he recognizes he can’t let this shit go on.

This was directed by Michael Ritchie who had a long career doing mostly comedies like The Bad News Bears and Fletch.  Robert Dillon had also been around a while writing for TV but he would eventually pen The French Connection II and Flight of the Intruder. 

So I mean this isn’t an amazing picture but it’s sort of a fun time even though the subject matter is dark as hell.  The film comes across like a horrible dream set to an eclectic score by Lalo Shiffrin that includes easy listening, country and fuzzed out guitar driven jazz.

Ironically I don’t know if I’d call this a prime cut since everyone involved has done better work, but it’s engaging and well, just kinda fuckin’ weird.

Mish Mash 24 (Rookie of the Year Loves Ass, Peggy Sue Got Married (and Slit Her Throat), Fear City Slice and Dice, Mystic Pizza Subverts)

Rookie of the Year Loves Ass

In Daniel Stern’s family baseball freak show movie Rookie of the Year a kid (Thomas Ian Nicholas (Halloween: Resurrection)) injures his arm and suddenly has the ability to throw a baseball over a hundred miles an hour.  Of course the Chicago Cubs want him immediately because, well, they suck and are willing to try anything.  Ignoring all logic is an artform in this picture but a child being exploited by a large organization while also letting him live his dream is what we’re here to see.  If I want reality I’ll watch Weekend at Bernie’s.

Anyway, the part I wanted to bring up is when the doctor examines the golden arm after the cast is removed.  He asks to move the arm around some to check how it healed.  However, he gets slapped in the fucking face by the kid accidentally at an enormous speed smashing his nose.  The doctor’s reaction is to yell out “FUNKY BUTT LOVIN’!!!”  I gotta hand it to Stern on this one, that’s a good sneak on a PG film.

 

Peggy Sue Got Married (and Slit Her Throat)

A woman named Peggy Sue (Kathleen Turner (Romancing the Stone)) goes back in time to 1960 and relives her high school life for a week hoping to avoid the same mistakes she made the first time.  Chiefly she doesn’t want to fall in love with her sweetheart Charlie (Nicolas Cage (Moonstruck)) again because in the present they’re going through a divorce.  It’s a lighthearted comedy meant to make you think about your own life choices and what you might’ve done differently given the chance.

If the plot sounds familiar that’s because it’s essentially Back to the Future with a few changes.  But boy it’s amazing what those tweaks do.  I found this film to be mostly very depressing and that’s for two reasons.  Peggy Sue is reliving her own life instead of examining her parent’s youth.  Seeing what your folks were like in high school stirs up some curiosity and removes yourself from the situation by a step.  Reliving your own past sounds like a nightmare because you know everything that’s going to happen and the horrors that lie ahead.  Suddenly you’re living at home again and have all the restrictions of a teenager.  Plus Peggy Sue spends some time with her sister that she lost contact with over the years and visits her grandparents who’ve been long dead.  How the hell can anyone process all this shit?

The second reason the situation is worse is Peggy Sue doesn’t know if she’s dreaming or crazy.  In Back to the Future Marty knows for sure he time traveled and works with Doc Brown to find a way to get him to his proper time.  There’s a goal that’s worked toward.  In this picture Peggy Sue has no idea how long she’s stuck in 1960.  It could be a day, a week, a year, eternity, whatever.  And who knows, maybe when she finally reaches the present the cycle will start all over again.

So with these seemingly small changes the impact is huge.  I mean if I were Peggy Sue I would probably blow my fucking brains out after two days.  The emotional strain would be overwhelming with no end in sight.  Damn dude, what a cruel fate.

 

Fear City Slice and Dice

Abel Ferrara’s Fear City is not a good movie.  He’s done killer-runs-amok-on-the-streets-of-NYC better with Ms .45 and to a lesser extent The Driller Killer except this one is a lot sleazier.  Some asshole is murdering strippers and it’s up to the seedy heads of the talent agencies who supply the dancing girls to flush him out.

The killer (Neil Clifford (Class of 1984) in an uncredited role) has a manifesto, called “Fear City”, about ridding the world of filth.  Naturally his approach is to do martial arts training in an empty warehouse and strike strippers on their way home from work.  Most of the time it’s knife attacks but for one he uses nunchucks which comes across pretty silly.

But the real reason I’m bringing this picture up is the murderer dispatches one of his victims with a samurai sword.  The setup is so fuckin’ ridiculous with the dude standing on a street corner with his back to the building waiting for the poor woman to walk right into his blade.  We’re talking New York fuckin’ City here where there’s no one around and someone can flash a katana in public, hold out for a min and slice a broad in half right on the street.  Who does that?

 

Mystic Pizza Subverts

(Warning: this is gonna be all spoilers)

So I checked out Mystic Pizza and didn’t think too much about it going in.  The plot involves three ladies played by Annabeth Gish (SLC Punk!), Lili Taylor (Leatherface) and Julia Roberts (Mary Reilly) who just finished high school and don’t know where their lives are headed next.  Each gets in a relationship and you feel pretty smart about where this shit is going ‘cause you’ve seen a dramedy or two like this before.  But in a bold move the filmmakers flip the tables on you and subvert your expectations.

Taylor is engaged to Vincent D’Onofrio (Rings) but is having second thoughts.  She wants to fool around some more before jumping right into marriage.  When Taylor tries to have sex with D’Onofrio he can’t do it and is offended that all she wants is his penis.  This is the opposite of every guy in every movie ever.  He wants a long term commitment and not only sex.  Sensitive dude.

Roberts gets tangled up with a rich law school kid (Adam Storke (Death Becomes Her)) who drives a Porsche and lives in a mansion and the whole bit.  So he’s got to eventually reveal himself to be a major asshole, right?  Turns out sure, he does a couple of jerky things but in the end he apologizes for his stupid behavior and at no point does he really treat Roberts badly.  He shows he can grow as a person and better himself and Roberts recognizes that.  So again, another guy that doesn’t go down a path you expect.

The real kicker though is Gish’s relationship with her employer (William Moses (lots of crime solving TV shit)).  She gets hired as a babysitter and develops a crush on the father flirting with him.  The wife is overseas on a business trip so she’s not around.  This sonuvabitch picks up on the googly eyes and makes his move on Gish.  The fact that they have sex is terrible not necessarily because of the age difference but more because this fella’s willing to risk his marriage and the wellbeing of his child for a fling with a teenager.  They don’t seem like they have a lot in common or much chemistry either.  The entire relationship is creepy.  And when the wife returns of course Gish is devastated.  It’s a very shitty situation that I could see the film advancing towards but refused to believe they would actually go through with it until it happened.

Mystic Pizza, not exactly what I thought I was gonna get but in a good way.  I guess I like the movie overall and appreciate that it tries different ideas.

This was written by Amy Holden Jones who also wrote Beethoven and Indecent Proposal and wrote and directed The Slumber Party Massacre.  Interesting career.