Mish Mash 17 (The Hurricane Heist, The Boondock Saints, The Dirt, Dark Angel (aka I Come in Peace))

The Hurricane Heist

This is the kinda movie that just doesn’t get made anymore.  You got a simple little action picture premise involving a heist with the specific twist that it takes place during a hurricane on the Gulf Coast.  And while there’s an entire laundry list of items that are stolen from Twister it’s definitely more of a Hard Rain type rip off (and better too).

Based on the poster I thought the whole thing was gonna take place on the road but thankfully no.  The good guys and bad guys run around an evacuated town battling each other in the streets with high winds creating dangerous projectiles out of boats and hubcaps and there’s flooding and almost constant rainfall.  Everyone needs to keep an eye on this shit if they not only want to take down their enemies but flat out survive the day.  Smartly the filmmakers also take the fights inside deserted buildings away from the elements so there’s variety to the set pieces keeping things fresh.  Oh yea, and they’re all fun.

However, this movie does do the very silly thing of turning an everyday Joe into an action hero like recluse computer hacker Sandra Bullock in The Net and mountain climber/wildlife photographer Chris O’Donnell in Vertical Limit.  This time it’s meteorologist Toby Kebbell (Kong: Skull Island) who somehow finds ways to outsmart the professional villains who clearly should’ve killed him in an instant.  But at least Kebbell is teamed up with treasury agent Maggie Grace (The Takens) to increase his odds slightly.  So this is more of a Broken Arrow Christian Slater and Samantha Mathis kinda partnership except the male/female roles are reversed.

Damn guys I gotta tell you, I didn’t think I’d enjoy this as much as I did but it feels like such a slice of the 90’s that I took to it immediately.  For most of you I’m sure you’ll roll your eyes or dismiss it outright.  But in my book it’s another gem from Rob Cohen (The Fast and the Furious, The Boy Next Door).

The Boondock Saints

Well it only took me twenty goddamn years but The Boondock Saints can finally be crossed off the list.  I have seen Overnight though which chronicles writer/director Troy Duffy being shot out of a fucking cannon from Nowheres-ville to Number-One-A-Lister-Land with everyone in Hollywood wanting a piece of him for his “genius” first ever script until they actually meet him and then no one can stand the fuckin’ guy.  It’s been a long time but I remember the doc being a fascinating Cinderella story and the self-destruction you witness in real time is quite amazing.

As for the movie that caused the initial stir, it’s kinda terrible.  The story and characters are very simple and not nearly fleshed out enough (two Irish brothers (Sean Patrick Flanery (Saw 3D: The Final Chapter)) and Norman Reedus (8 MM)) decide to murder mob goons and bosses because well, I don’t know), the editing is awkward at times, especially the opening credits and almost every scene transition, and it tries so hard to be cool with some non-linear storytelling, awful jokes and nonsensical character gimmicks.  It’s a dumb picture that thinks it’s hot shit which makes perfect sense considering who made the damn thing.

Look, I think I waited long enough to give the film a fair shake but another unfortunate aspect is this movie hasn’t aged well.  It was clearly going for that early to mid 90’s edgy indie vibe that Quinten Tarantino and Robert Rodriguez pioneered.  But this comes off more like an imitation of that style and not a true brother in arms that shows a vision and passion for cinema.  Duffy seems to only be concerned about guns, tough talk, violent shit, goofy moments and much less concerned about story, character development, relationships, motivations, connections, etc.

Perhaps the most implausible fact to comprehend though is that Saints is still a title a lot of folks know.  It never really went away in twenty years.  It’s always streaming somewhere, it gets a high rating on IMDb and the Rotten Tomatoes audience score and a sequel eventually got made with the same principal players ten years later.  In terms of sticking in people’s memories and having a continued presence I gotta admit that’s impressive.  Otherwise, it’s stupid.

The Dirt

If you’re gonna make a biopic on Mötley fuckin’ Crüe it better be entertaining as shit and wow, this delivers.  For a band with such a wild reputation and more crazy stories than anyone else it seems like an impossible task to cram all the zaniness in and still have actual characters with arcs where you care about them.  And they fucking did it!  Each member has their own clear identity, demons they need to deal with, and their friendship and music makes them stronger together.  They fight, they hug, they laugh, they cry, it’s beautiful and tragic all at once.

To be perfectly honest I’m not really a Mötley Crüe fan but from what I know this film seems to capture the attitude and essence of the band very well.  All four original members produced it (based on their book they wrote together) which helped I’m sure.  Plus they managed to get Jeff Tremaine of Jackass fame to direct and he knows a little something about out of control personalities.

If you’re looking for a party you’ve found it.  

Dark Angel (aka I Come in Peace)

Dark Angel (aka I Come in Peace) most definitely ranks third in Craig R. Baxley’s trilogy of features from the late 80’s to early 90’s (the excellent Action Jackson is number two and the bona fide masterpiece Stone Cold is number one in case you were wondering).  And I think it’s the sci-fi elements that don’t quite work.  It feels like a regular urban cop action film that gets sporadically interrupted by some unrelated alien bullshit.

The biggest influence on this picture is undoubtedly The Terminator, but instead of a robot and a human from the future chasing and battling each other all over LA it’s two aliens (that look exactly like humans) chasing and battling each other all over Houston.  We find out later one is a cop and the other is a drug manufacturer/dealer/lord.  This was obviously meant to be the main plot but it feels more like the B story.  Again, the impression I get is that the filmmakers are way more interested in the non-alien shit and reluctantly pivot away every so often.

Even the action isn’t up to Baxley’s high standards with smaller ideas and less impressive sequences on the whole.  Maybe the biggest stunt is a car chase through a mall but it’s very brief and nothing like on the scale of Invasion U.S.A. or The Blues Brothers.  Dolph Lundgren (Universal Soldier: Regeneration) doesn’t get to show off much of his fighting skills either which is a waste.  He mostly squabbles with FBI agent Brian Benben (Radioland Murders) who he’s forced to team up with to help solve his partner’s murder, which remarkably has nothing at all to do with the two aliens brawling around town.  Also, Dolph plays it smarmy here which isn’t the best brand of Dolph in my opinion.

I’m not saying you shouldn’t see this, especially if you’re a fan of Baxley’s other films, but don’t expect the same level of greatness.  I mean it does have the infamous line “Fuck you spaceman!” and it’s just as awkward to read in this context as it is to hear from our hero right before he delivers the (second to last) death blow.  That’s not bad.  The real last line is even better but I’ll leave that for you to discover.