Temple of Doom

So I guess “Indiana Jones Goes to Hell” would have been a bit much and kind of untrue.  But if we’re talking about a world where the Ark of the Covenant and the Holy Grail not only exist but also really do possess supernatural powers then why not this?  It’s not as far of a stretch as you might think.

An Indiana Jones sequel (or as Spielberg would call it: “a Raiders”) to Raiders of the Lost Ark must have been much anticipated.  Well too bad people had to wait eight years until Last Crusade while they gave us this prequel instead.  Ok, ok I’m not that big of a nerd that I’m actually going to go on about this shit happening before Raiders.  Because really it doesn’t matter.  There isn’t anything in here that has to have happened before the first movie.  And even if there is some obscure thing so what?  It’s a fucking movie.  You see I know this is a prequel like it’s a little factoid but I haven’t accepted it yet.  The prequel thing must have been Lucas all the way though ‘cause he loves that shit with his Star Warses and such.  You slap “prequel” on there and suddenly it becomes soooo much more interesting than if it had been a plain old boring “sequel”.  Alright I’m coming down off my soap box now.

Temple of Doom tends to be shat on in the Indiana Jones universe I think because it’s really out there.  But he deals in mystical shit all the time so what’s the big deal?  I don’t think it deserves all that negativity.  It’s actually my second favorite in the series behind Last Crusade.  Sorry Raiders but you’re my least favorite (of the original three).  I dunno, the pacing in Raiders always felt really off to me.  Everything that happens after they escape on the ship feels tacked on.  I know that nothing has been wrapped up yet but it felt like they didn’t know where to go next with the story.  Temple of Doom has better pacing but definitely isn’t perfect.  I thought they nailed it with Last Crusade though.  It felt the most even and thoughtful all the way through.

So what is it about Temple of Doom that’s so good?  Well the title for starters.  What an exciting and enticing title (Temple of Poon is pretty good too).  Sounds like we’re in for some nasty shit.  Also the poster looks incredible.  That’s some Drew Stuzan for ya right there.  He’s made some unbelievable movie posters including ones for the Star Wars series, the Indy series, Blade Runner, Back to the Future, Big Trouble in Little China, Coming to America, The Thing (1982), First Blood and many more (for more of his work check out www.drewstruzan.com).

Ok fine, but what about the movie itself?  Well let’s take a look.  So we open in a nightclub in China with a Ziegfeld follies type dance number.  And I think a whole bunch of Indy nerds were lost right here when they saw this for the first time (but you know they saw it again and again).  But I actually like the way this movie opens.  Maybe it’s because I’m a big fan of over the top musicals like Top Hat and Singin’ in the Rain.  Or maybe it’s because John Williams’ arrangement of “Anything Goes” is really good.  Whatever, during the dance routine we’re introduced to our damsel in distress for the movie, Willie Scott played by Spielberg’s future wife Kate Capshaw (Black Rain, Just Cause).

After the performance ends we finally get the story rolling.  Actually, we need to take a quick detour before we get to the main story, it won’t be but a little while.  We see Indy dressed in a white tuxedo doing a trade with some Chinese Gangsters.  The reason for this intro is because Spielberg wanted to make a Bond movie initially but went with this instead.  It’s also why Spielberg chose Sean Connery to play Indy’s father.  But anyway the trade doesn’t really go that well ‘cause they end up poisoning him.  That’s not good hospitality if you ask me.  Indy doesn’t like it either so he OJ’s a flaming fucking kabob spear into one of the gangster’s chest.  You know, death in the Indy series is kind of weird.  I don’t think a lot of people realize this but Indiana Jones has absolutely no problem with murdering people.  In fact he mercs a lot of people over the course of the series.  Star Wars is kinda the same way.  Think about how many goddamn storm troopers get shot to shit in those movies.  People always think of these films as fun for the whole family but that’s a lot of corpses.  But I’m not some prude or snob or nothin’.  I think these movies really are great for everyone and especially for kids.  I’m just sayin’ that it’s ironic and it’s something that I didn’t realize until right now.  

Anyway, to move this thing along Indy and Willie escape the club thanks to Indy’s prepubescent friend Short Round, played by Jonathan Ke Quan (The Goonies), and hop on a plane to get out of China.  But oh shit, it’s the Chinese gangster’s plane so of course these guys try to kill them.  But instead of just shooting them or something quick and easy like that they dump the fuel and jump ship leaving the plane to eventually crash.  Indy and company survive (duh it’s a prequel) and realize that they’re in India.  The village that takes them in asks them to get back their sacred stones for them.  And the stones are in a temple (of doom). 

Alright, that was a lot of intro to get to the temple of doom but I swear it doesn’t feel like it takes forever ‘cause it’s chock full of action along the way.  And action is one of the key things that this film does better than Raiders.  The spike room, the mine car chase, the fight in the mine, it’s all great.  And it really builds as the movie goes, especially when Indy gets out from under that spell.  From there on it’s nothing but kick ass action ‘til the credits.  And the finale with the bridge.  Come on now.  All you naysayers out there have got to admit that that bridge scene is fucking cool.  And also that this film looks incredible.  The whole hell feeling comes through marvelously.  The human sacrifice part of the temple (actually is just that room the temple or is the whole place the temple?) has such a great demonic look to it and all of those bugs and that crazy ass meal that Indy and company have makes you feel like the devil is just down the hall.

This film is pretty dark on its own and I guess people thought it was a little too dark for an Indy movie.  I thought it was great that they went that far with it.  It didn’t feel like they held back that much.  Spielberg hated this thing though.  On the DVD extras he says that the only good thing about this movie is that he met his wife.  Damn, that’s a hell of a statement.  Harrison Ford was into it though.  Yeah Harrison, it’s you and me man.  We’re the only ones. 

Temple of Doom was actually the first Indy movie that I saw and for a long time thought that it was the first one.  Glad to see that I was actually right all those years.  Alright, alright I’m done with the prequel stuff.  But seriously, Temple of Doom is badass.  I’m glad they went dark with this one.  It makes it stand out in the series.  For Spielberg not liking this movie as much as he does he did a damn good job with it.  You have to remember that they invented PG-13 for this thing.  They pushed the boundaries into another rating that didn’t even exist yet.  But I guess you’re pushing it when you have a guy holding a still beating human heart in his hand while laughing maniacally to a group of followers with a giant stone skull and balls of fire behind you.  Who knew?      

Just as a side note has anyone seen Raiders of the Lost Ark: The Adaptation?  These three boys around 12 years old or so from Mississippi made a shot for shot recreation of Raiders.  They started it when Raiders first came out and it took them seven years to finish.  It’s incredibly charming and very interesting to watch them nail all of those shots and scenes perfectly.  And this was done before home video so they had to go to the theater and watch it over and over again.  According to one of the boys, who’s obviously grown up now, a copy got to Spielberg and he liked it.  A truly inspired work and I highly recommend it if they screen it near you because I don’t know if they’ll ever release it on DVD.  In terms of copyrights it lies in this weird gray area.  When these boys were making it they obviously didn’t know anything about copyright law.  They just wanted to be Indiana Jones.  But to give you an idea you can see the first ten minutes (at least for now) on YouTube.