Who hasn’t seen The Wizard of Oz? It’s just something we do at some point in our lives like learn to walk or chew solid food. This movie is a classic and really is a masterpiece deserving of most of the acclaim that gets showered upon it (but let’s be honest, some people take that shit a little too far). But what happened after the credits rolled? We see that Dorothy wakes up and everything’s fine. It was just a dream. Wait, hold on. I have to say something here. They did use the laziest trick in the book to explain away everything that you’ve just seen. But you know what? It doesn’t really matter in this case because the movie is so enjoyable and enchanting that it doesn’t even factor in. We’re talking about a goddamn masterwork that you’ve just witnessed not fucking Vanilla Sky or North or some shit. But we still want to know. What happens after Dorothy wakes up? Does she have a new outlook on life? Does life return to normal and the dream is never mentioned again? Does she become a raging alcoholic? Well thankfully Return to Oz answers these burning questions. ‘Cause I know that we all have ‘em.
Well it turns out that Dorothy still wonders about Oz and thinks that it’s a real place. Her aunt and uncle think she’s crazy because she won’t let it go. So they take her to a mental hospital to get electroshock therapy. I did not make any of that up. This is really what happens in this film. So instead of her realizing it was a dream like in the ending to The Wizard of Oz they have her think it’s a real place and not only that but she’s totally fucking nuts and needs medical care. AND that the only way to cure her from these fantastical visions is to shock the shit out of her. Damn. That’s a hell of a stance to take. I mean…well…actually…doesn’t that sound fucking cool as shit? From what I understand this is actually something like what happens in the book sequels to “The Wonderful Wizard of Oz”, but in full disclosure I haven’t actually read any of the Oz books so please correct me if I’m wrong. In any case we have this movie to deal with.
So after Dorothy is dropped off at the creepiest, old, turn of the century mental hospital you could imagine she is about to get her first dose of electroshock therapy. Just as the doctor is about to give it to her the power goes out and the doctors and nurses leave to investigate. Suddenly some other little girl shows up and frees Dorothy. They run out of the hospital and jump into a raging river. When Dorothy wakes up she’s back in Oz. Only this time things aren’t the same. No munchkins, no good witch, no Scarecrow, no Tin Man, no Cowardly Lion, nothing. Instead the yellow brick road is all smashed to shit and Dorothy gazes upon a matte painting showing a ruined Emerald City. So throughout the rest of the movie Dorothy is trying to figure out what the hell happened and runs into malicious demon after malicious demon. Well what really happened is that there’s this rock guy named the Nome King who did all this because he says that the Scarecrow stole his emeralds so he was just taking them back. I guess he got a little over zealous in the process and ended up destroying the entire city.
For those of you that have already seen Return to Oz, I know you’re waiting for me talk about two specific things that happen in this piece. These two things are the shit and vile putrid revulsion that nightmares are made of. The first is the wheelers. I know that when I describe this it’s not going to sound scary but bear with me. The wheelers are Mombi’s henchmen (Mombi is the Nome King’s right hand woman or miniboss if you will). They have wheels for hands and feet so they’re hunched over when they roll. Also, their arms are elongated which looks very creepy. I know you’re thinking, “roller skates aren’t scary” but when you add in the sound of rusty, screechy wheels turning and the goofy laugh that they make, it adds up man. It took me a while to get over the initial scene where they are introduced because it’s shot and edited so well (especially that moving master shot, can’t get enough of moving masters). The scene starts out with Dorothy just looking around the ruins of Oz and then all of a sudden you hear this screeching sound and you see these wheels roll into the shot, then the camera pans up to reveal this weird man/wheel hybrid thing. Dorothy tries to run away but before she knows it she’s surrounded. The scene escalates so fast that it barely gives you time to catch your breath. Fucking wheelers man.
The other scene is a little later in the film when Dorothy is trapped in Mombi’s palace/castle thing (it’s a long story). She needs to bring a couch with a moose head attached to it to life (another long story). She finds out that Mombi has something called the “Powder of Life” and decides to steal it because it’s just what she needs. Now I have to explain that Mombi doesn’t really have a head. I mean that literally. She keeps the heads of her victims and can switch out whichever head she wants like a pair of socks. But she keeps them behind glass cases in a long gallery hall where they are all facing out. Dorothy needs to sneak past the heads while they are sleeping in order to get this powder. But I’m sure you’ve already guessed by now that this doesn’t go smoothly. In fact she ends up waking up all of the heads with them screaming at her and yelling her name. Not only that but Mombi’s headless body gets up and tries to nab Dorothy. Jesus Christ man. What an eerie fucking scene. And to top it all off with apocalyptic music is the icing on the cake.
Bottom line: this movie is dark. As dark as M. Night Shyamalan’s career (*ba doom chik*). I feel like this movie shouldn’t exist because it’s so strange. I’m really glad that it was made when it was. I don’t think this could have been done today or even in the last 10 or 15 years. It’s a crazy, frightening and altogether very adventurous movie. But I don’t quite understand who their target audience was for this. It’s too dark and scary for little kids but at the same time it’s too fantastically kiddy for teens and adults. I dunno. It’s one of the most whacked out visions I’ve seen on film. So really, The Wizard of Oz is a better movie but as far as sequels go this is a keeper.
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