Silent Night (2023)

Alright guys Silent Night is pretty rad.  I had a blast taking in the latest John Woo action extravaganza and this is only a brief message to let you know that it’s definitely worth your time.

Amazingly the title has no less than three meanings.  It’s basically a silent movie in part due to the main character, Brian (Joel Kinnaman (Child 44)), not being able to speak.  The film opens with him getting his throat shot out (ouch) so it’s a legit physical impairment.  On top of that the concept is then taken to the maximum natural end point of having no characters say any dialogue at all!  Everyone’s emotions and thoughts are expressed totally clearly without speaking and that’s a daring avenue to explore in this day and age.  Additionally, this is a revenge story and the best time to enact that revenge is at night so that checks out.  But then of course the date in question is Christmas night.  It’s like the filmmakers actually thought about it.  An accurate title where every part checks out is really just icing on the cake but man I love it.

And shit, besides no dialogue John Woo takes a run of the mill picture about a father going after the people who shot and killed his five year old son and makes so many other unique choices.  For example having the bad guys be Latino gangbangers instead of the usual Russians, setting the story in Texas instead of California, the lead is simply some average Joe with no hints that he’s an ex-cop or ex-military or anything, the extreme sentimentality Brian displays over his dead son, there’s sort of a jazzy song used for the getting tough/gearing up/training montage, the main villain and his lady waltz to an industrial song, his lair has giant Christmas ornaments hanging from the ceiling and skulls projected onto the walls, a teardrop falling is intercut with a bullet falling to the ground and etc.

One particularly cute part is when a henchman is battling Brian and gets thrown into a table full of handguns but then reaches next to it to pull a machine gun that was out of view.  My complements to the chef.  I also like that Brian has a look on his face sometimes like even he can’t believe the incredible shit he’s pulling off and what he’s up against.

Look, this isn’t on the same tier as Woo’s masterworks but for a guy in his late 70’s who hasn’t been in the game for a long while this is fuckin’ cool as hell.  He had to learn a few new tricks to adapt to modern action and sure, there’s part of me that wishes he would’ve made this thing as if it were still the 80’s or 90’s but you know what?  That’s ok.  Setting aside the kind of not great looking digital blood splatter he updates himself well.  One instance is the (probably fake?) oner where our hero ascends five or six flights of stairs all while dispatching baddies.  It’s a neat sequence but admittedly is a touch clunkily executed hinting that either John wanted to prove he could be just as relevant as current action filmmakers or it was something he felt was essential for today’s audiences.  With that said let’s not forget he gave us one of the all time best oners during the hospital scene in Hard Boiled.  So he has nothing to prove in that department.

I mean what’s impressive is because it’s John motherfuckin’ Woo we essentially got a direct to streaming picture on the big screen and in my book that alone counts for something.  Not to mention he delivered a fun piece making his comeback a sweet one.  If he’s feeling spry and gets the opportunity to make more films there’s no question that I’m there.

Harefooted Halloween: Sadako

What I Liked: Like all the other Ring sequels there are a couple of genuinely eerie moments.  We do get a full blown scene of a TV flipping on by itself, Sadako climbing out of the well, inching her way towards the screen, crawling out of the TV into the real world and attacking a person who’s paralyzed by the fear of what they’re witnessing.  When she pops out into reality she does this slither across the ground too which looks good and weird.  There are also times when we catch glimpses of the devil child either in the background or reflected in blank screens that create some decent atmosphere.

Thankfully this isn’t tedious like I remember some of the other installments being.  They setup enough mystery and goals for the characters to propel the story forward.  It’s definitely not the intense ticking time clock of the first film but the second half picks up the pace with a race to find a victim before Sadako strikes.

What I Didn’t Like: The biggest issue I have is the film doesn’t properly lay out the rules of the curse.  Initially it was extremely simple.  If you watch this specific VHS tape you die seven days later.  There’s a cure but just in case you haven’t seen that original masterwork I’ll leave it there.  In this one there’s no tape, no video online you need to click on or anything.  Sadako attacks anyone who trespasses onto her turf and acts more like a typical slasher villain in that sense.  At the same time her hauntings and assaults seem kinda random.  On top of that the plot features this other little girl with telekinetic powers that’s sort of like Sadako’s protégé and whoever comes in contact with her tends to get caught up in the curse.  Plus the filmmakers retconned some of Sadako’s backstory (I’m pretty sure?) which I won’t even go into.  Bottom line is the whole thing needed more focus.

The passage of time feels off with the way everything flows.  I thought events were occurring in consecutive days but then a character will mention it’s been months or days and that took me aback.  Maybe it’s just me but the storytelling didn’t properly convey the time in between major plot points.

Overall Impressions: Even the keepers of this series could not resist the reboot-quel trend of creating a sequel while also hitting the reset button like Texas Chainsaw Massacre (2022), Halloween (2018), The Force Awakens, Jurassic World, The Exorcist: Believer, etc.  And like most of them this isn’t very successful.  None of Ringu’s successors ever managed to capture the same magic or find a tremendously exciting fresh direction to take the franchise in.  And I’m not sure how much new territory there is to explore by this point.  I mean they already gave us a movie that updates shit to a cursed YouTube video, one that centers more on the science of the curse, one where Sadako grows up and goes to theater school (yea that was a strange one) and a crossover with the Ju-on monster.  This one uses a similar idea to the first sequel where Sadako takes control of another child to help continue the spread of her misery.  It’s unclear if the child already has psychic powers or if Sadako is feeding them to her.  Nonetheless we’ve pretty much been here before.

Director Hideo Nakata makes his big return after helming the first two Japanese entries and the American sequel The Ring Two.  He still knows how to get some nice creepy shit on camera and remains the best at capturing the essence of Sadako with her disposition and how she moves and having her ghostly aura permeate the entire picture.  But unfortunately I get the sense his heart wasn’t in this one.  The script is half baked and the general mood comes across tired.

So while this isn’t terrible it’s not great either.  It could be the strongest sequel but it’s been a while since I’ve seen the others.  If you really dig Sadako and are looking for her to do her thang then sure, it’s worth checking out.  Otherwise don’t worry about it.

Harefooted Halloween: Saw X

What I Liked: They actually sorta did something different.  They make John “Jigsaw” Kramer (Tobin Bell (Seinfeld)) the center of the story for the first time, they show him overseeing and executing his deathtraps, they make him the most sympathetic he’s ever been and there isn’t a subplot of the police searching for Kramer or where the victims are being held.  Another first is he carries out his “game” in a foreign country but it’s still within an abandoned warehouse so in the end this location change doesn’t amount to much.

I’d like to expand on the above for a moment because we’ve never spent this much time with Kramer in one sitting and it was kinda nice.  The story revolves around him seeking an unapproved underground treatment for his brain cancer.  He’s given months to live so he’s desperate to try anything.  Now even though he’s the main villain of the series he’s always been more of a figure in the shadows than out front when his victims are working their way through the traps.  It was cooler than I would’ve thought to spend the entire runtime with Kramer and see him operate up close.  Throughout the film, especially the first third, they humanize the character by showing him at his lowest point and searching for hope to cling to.  I think they succeed too which is a pretty impressive feat.

What I Didn’t Like: For me the real reason the Saw pictures are a guilty pleasure are the crazy twists and turns of the soap opera that plays out in between Jigsaw murdering folks.  It’s much more like a TV show in that sense where everyone’s related somehow and locations get revisited and paths cross endlessly and Kramer has more accomplices than you’d ever expect.  Since this picture takes place in an entirely different location than all the rest those connections are lost.  There are a couple of reveals for sure but they’re more ho hum than the bonkers shit we’re used to.

Unfortunately the film is extremely predictable.   This is partially a consequence of the story being more on the generic side this round.  The other part of it is if you’ve seen some of the other Saws then it’s obvious where the story is going and how it’ll play out.  These movies love to jump around in time so I don’t think it’s much of a spoiler to let you know this one’s a prequel.  As a result there’s only one way the events can turn out.

Damn, this could be the goriest in the series, and one of the goriest pictures in general.  I’m not adverse to shit getting nasty but I’m not a huge proponent of it either.  The franchise is known for their brutal treatment of the human body and this entry is no different.  At one point someone cuts the intestines out of another person and flings them across the room to use as a rope to grab a cart.  Kinda funny but also yuck!

Overall Impressions: On one hand yep, it’s another Saw movie alright.  But on the other I appreciate the filmmakers trying a few different things, namely getting you on John Kramer’s side by successfully turning him into a victim.  The picture really takes its time setting this up (this runs a half hour longer than all previous films) and diving deeper into the teacher/student relationship between Kramer and Amanda (Shawnee Smith (The Blob (1988))).  Some fans might be annoyed by this because it takes a while to get to the deathtraps but I think it works (although they throw one in early on with John daydreaming about a guy getting his eyeballs sucked out of his head, it totally feels like something added later in production to satiate the audience).

This is kind of a self-contained movie that would probably actually play better if you haven’t seen any of the others.  Then you wouldn’t be able to predict the outcome as easily.  Not only that but the character study stuff is fairly well done and brings you completely up to speed.  So despite the absence of dubious insane plot twists I guess this could maybe possibly against all odds be my favorite Saw film?  Whatever that’s worth.  Not that the others are shoddily made exactly but the methodical storytelling makes this one come across the most professional.  It’s still the same director/editor from four previous installments, Kevin Greutert, and writers of three, Pete Goldfinger and Josh Solberg, which is interesting.  I’m glad they finally altered the formula slightly and found a new angle to tackle the material from.  I mean it’s not wildly different or anything though.  I don’t wanna oversell this.  It’s just gently refreshing.

So if you haven’t checked out one of these before this might be a good starting point.  If you don’t mind someone drilling into their own skull and picking out a piece of their brain that is.

Harefooted Halloween: Bones and All

What I Liked: The cannibalistic tendencies of this group called “eaters” isn’t overexplained.  We’re given enough information to know what the deal is and then we’re sent on our way.  These folks are born with the disease/condition/mental illness/supernatural ability and must consume human flesh.  They can have regular food as well but the desire for people meat only grows stronger the older you get and if you abstain for too long you tend to go crazy.  Magnificent straightforward premise.

Wonderful natural performances from everyone but of course Taylor Russell (Escape Room: Tournament of Champions) as Maren and Timothee Chalamet (Little Women (2019)) as Lee are the heart of the whole thing.  They both have to run the gauntlet where they’re trepid, suspicious, sorrowful, angry, confused, hurt, worrisome, anxious, joyful and madly in love.  It’s difficult to pull off a fraction of the emotional states the roles call for and they nail each and every one of them.  Maren is new to being on her own fending for her survival out in the world so she doesn’t know who to trust.  When she meets Lee she can sense they have the same affliction and that he could be someone she can befriend.  Lee meanwhile has been moving around solo for a while so he knows the ropes.  He takes Maren under his wing and they form a bond during their journey that develops beautifully and gets tested at every turn.

This is shot and edited very nicely.  Cinematographer Arseni Khachaturan captures both the gorgeousness and dinginess of the American Midwest.  Landscapes look stunning while towns look rundown and grimy sometimes.  I appreciate editor Marco Costa letting scenes breathe even during tense moments.  Just hearing the characters munch away while showing the victim’s personal effects drives home that this was a human being with a life that has plainly been reduced to sustenance for others.

Trent Reznor and Atticus Ross turn in another delightful soundtrack.  With the plucky acoustic guitar and synths it kinda sounds like a cross between the Brokeback Mountain score and Tangerine Dream.  It accents the young love of the leads and the turmoil beneath the surface very well.

Another thing I appreciate is how subtly 80’s the film is.  Most of the time a period piece feels the need to announce on a bullhorn the decade they’re in which is always distracting.  Here the outfits, haircuts and other trappings are stated matter-of-factly and it’s such a breath of fresh air.  The only pop culture reference we get is 80’s era Kiss when Lee puts on “Lick It Up”.

What I Didn’t Like: Minor complaint but if you’ve seen a few movies before it becomes sorta obvious what the final confrontation will be.  And even though it comes across a touch tacked on you do need the finale to satisfactorily wrap up the story.  Without it something would certainly feel like it’s missing.  Shout out to Mark Rylance (The BFG) by the way who plays the fantastic creepy older eater.  There are flashes when you think he might be ok but your gut tells you there’s something sinister about this sonuvabitch.  At the same time he’s a pathetic creature who’s been on his own too long and is desperate for companionship.  Great performance.

Overall Impressions: Man, what a cool take on vampirism.  I can’t think of anything else that’s quite like it.  It’s first and foremost a romantic drama with just a sprinkling of horror and killer-couple-on-the-road vibes.  I wanna say you could take away the cannibal stuff and it would still work with little changes but I’m not so sure.  It’s the overpowering drive to eat people that causes Maren and Lee to live on the fringes of society and murder so it makes them sympathetic and you forgive them.  Killing purely for the sake of it or for money or a car or whatever wouldn’t have the same emotional payoff.

This is a damn good script executed masterfully by Luca Guadagnino (Suspiria (2018)).  I’m curious about the book now of the same name this is based on to see how similar or different it is.  High level horror like this doesn’t show up very often and is always a fascinating experiment.  Films like The Killing of a Sacred Deer, Ringu and The Lighthouse also blur the line where you can’t be sure if supernatural stuff is occurring or if the characters are losing their minds.  The material ends up having a somewhat hazy dream-like quality where you’d like to question everything you’re seeing.  But if you allow yourself to slip into the stream you’ll be rewarded with a unique viewing experience.

Probably the biggest draw for this picture is less the premise, as intriguing as it is, but rather Maren and Lee themselves.   They’re cool dudes who are lovely to hang out with for two hours and you wanna see how their relationship progresses.  If they were simply drifters with no place to go and no one to turn to but each other that would be enticing enough.  But throwing in the complication of the necessity to feed on human flesh raises this to another level.  How does a couple navigate a world with a fucked up hang up like that?  You should definitely check this one out.  And maybe keep a few tissues on hand, or napkins.

Harefooted Halloween: Scream VI

What I Liked: Somehow the image of Ghostface with a shotgun is striking.  I can’t put my finger on exactly what it is but maybe it makes the character seem more down and dirty.  Like he’s resorting to killing folks from a distance and doing whatever it takes in this particular situation to get the job done instead of relying on the ol’ knife stabbing.  After his identity is revealed he might use a handgun but not while in costume.  It’s something different that stands out after six movies.  For a franchise that desperately avoids straying from its own path I appreciate this small moment.

What I Didn’t Like: Everything else.

Overall Impressions: This film probably expects you to buy the most bullshit presented since part 3.  From the setup to the number of murderers to a previous character suddenly becoming an FBI agent to motivations to the killer’s Ghostface museum located inside an abandoned movie theater filled with props, er, I mean all the police evidence from all the homicides from every previous installment lovingly displayed in glass cases to Ghostface being able to successfully coordinate a highly intricate plan in New York fuckin’ City without any issues to characters sustaining multiple horrific (read: fatal) injuries without consequence.  That last bit is especially absurd.  One character gets stabbed in the back and the gut and brushes both off.  Another one gets stabbed in the mouth all the way through to the back of the head and keeps on tickin’.

Yes I know, these pictures are just supposed to be fun.  Relax, eat your popcorn and enjoy the scares.  For the first time though I might go as far as to say I kind of, uh, strongly dislike this entry.  Aside from the list of nonsense above the meta stuff really got to me here.  The characters mention how this one’s different because all the rules are out the window, no one’s safe, anything goes.  Except none of that is true.  It’s a whodunit with Ghostface taunting his victims on the phone, appearing out of thin air whenever he attacks, the protagonists try to figure out who’s behind the mask and the killer’s motivations end up being revenge.  What’s different?  A Halloween train with several people dressed as Ghostface so you don’t know if the real one is mixed in there?  They already pulled that gimmick with a rowdy movie theater full of the sonsabitches all the way back in part 2, twenty six years ago.

Well the big selling point for this one is the NYC setting as opposed to California like all the rest.  While the new location does offer a change of scenery the filmmakers don’t take advantage of the city.  The only thing I can point to is when Ghostface stabs someone in a crowded subway car and no one notices or cares.  Aside from that the story could’ve taken place in the west coast suburbs.  Actually, I argue it would’ve made more sense.  You transported all your survivors from the previous installment across the country just to have shit play out the same way it always does.  Plus the entire city’s on camera which should make it significantly harder for Ghostface to carry out his scheme (naturally this is ignored).  And if someone’s going to create a secret museum dedicated to the Woodsboro murders why would they place it in New York?  If you’re that crazy about this shit wouldn’t you put it closer to where all the crimes went down?  The underutilization of the Big Apple isn’t quite as bad as Jason Takes Manhattan but it’s certainly not satisfying.

*Sigh* this is a dumb fuckin’ movie guys.  More than any of the others it comes off like bad fan fiction.  I know that sounds harsh but it’s becoming harder and harder to find value in the franchise.  They’re too much the same but progressively worse each time.  I’ve already gone over in my Scream series wrap up from last year how bafflingly popular these films continue to be despite lacking anything interesting going on visually, story-wise, effects-wise, character-wise and so forth.  What it boils down to is the Ghostface image, the Scooby Doo style mystery and the self-referential dialogue which was charming and fresh in the 90’s but is downright aggravating now.

Say what you want about the Exorcist, Alien and Child’s Play sequels but at least they all took chances and explored new territory within their respective realms.

Harefooted Halloween: Maniac Cop 3: Badge of Silence

What I liked: They saved all the good stuff, well the only good stuff, for the finale where maniac cop Matt Cordell (Robert Z’Dar (Samurai Cop)) has a car chase/battle with our heroes played by Caitlin Dulany (Oldboy (2013)) and a returning Robert Davi (Action Jackson).  Similar to the ending fight scene in part 2 Cordell’s on fire the entire time racing down the Los Ange, er I mean New York highway ramming into other cars, grabbing onto the other vehicle and driving like a nutjob.  It looks cool, is cool and keeps with tradition of putting stunts in these movies that seem ridiculously dangerous.

What I Didn’t Like: Boy is this one phoned in.  You definitely get the sense that nobody wants to be here and that’s because it’s true.  The script had to be altered significantly after foreign distributors demanded huge changes.  So the filmmakers cut out everything that didn’t fit with the new parameters which only left about fifty mins of runtime.  They either made up the rest or took leftover footage from the previous film.  And it’s a shame because all of this shows.  They couldn’t save it.

Overall Impressions: Unfortunately this last installment is sluggish, kind of on the boring side and nothing makes any frickin’ sense.  The weirdest part is they tried to do a half assed Bride of Maniac Cop thing by setting up a female cop who’s supposed to be out of control.  However, she comes across as reckless and overzealous, not psychotic so it doesn’t add up.  Cordell wants a companion because I guess he’s lonely?  I don’t really have a clue.

Even if you liked the first two pictures you can skip this one.  It’s not a satisfying conclusion to the series.  Although seeing Davi light his cigarette with Cordell’s severed burning arm as one last fuck you to the guy is pretty badass.

Harefooted Halloween: Maniac Cop 2

What I Liked: There’s an excellent car chase sequence with the maniac cop, Matt Cordell (Robert Z’Dar (Mobsters)), in his old 60’s squad car pursuing some victims in a cab.  A couple of the tires on the taxi blow so the metal wheels grind against the pavement creating tons of sparks (which apparently caused the car to catch fire for real halting production).  Directly after this the murderous cop handcuffs one of his targets to the wheel of another car and sets it into neutral sending the thing careening uncontrollably down the road.  Oh and did I mention this person is handcuffed to the outside of the car which ups the ante considerably?  This stretch is maybe the best set piece in either film.  Not only that but towards the end Cordell does an entire hand to hand fight scene on fire and it’s ambitious due to the sheer length of it.  Some of these stunts are incredibly dangerous and I’m impressed with what they put together.

What I Didn’t Like: The backstory and lore isn’t expanded upon at all.  We don’t get any further insight into Matt Cordell or his crimes.

Fuckin’ Robert Davi (Showgirls) plays the detective in charge of tracking down the killer cop this time and shit, he’s completely wasted here.  Davi does his usual stoic cool as all hell routine but the character doesn’t end up doing anything.  I mean (minor spoiler) he’s not even part of the finale.

Overall Impressions: The first film is a hybrid of horror and action making it somewhat unique.  It’s a detective movie with a slasher spirit.  This one leans much more to the action side with two car chases and a part inspired by (ripped off from?) The Terminator where Cordell storms into a police precinct and blows all the cops away in a glut of massive destruction.  The horror elements are fairly subdued and extend to Cordell’s now rotting zombified face and play with the ambiguity of if he’s supernatural or not.  Sometimes he seems like he is, sometimes he doesn’t.  I dunno.

Unfortunately nothing new is done with the premise or the characters.  The plot is very simple involving a police psychologist (Claudia Christian (The Substitute 3: Winner Takes All)) and a detective (Davi) trying to find and stop Cordell.  They repeat a couple of full scenes from the original to pad the runtime too which is kind of annoying.

This is a tough one because while it’s not really as good as its predecessor things even out with this film having the two best action sequences between them.  If you enjoyed the first one then yeah, this is worth your time.