Once again here are the films that made up the Bringin’ Sexy Back segment:
Well I picked a pretty crappy group of films for myself this time. Only two had some real thrills (Jade, Color of Night) and there were a whole bunch of sex gamers (9 ½ Weeks, Another 9 ½ Weeks, The First 9 ½ Weeks, Wild Orchid and I could see Indecent Proposal just barely fitting into that category) which aren’t nearly as good as sexy thrillers.
I’m not gonna lie, it was really tough getting through the last couple starting with Another 9 ½ Weeks. There were some other pictures I checked out but decided not to comment on like Death Ride to Osaka (aka Girls of the White Orchid) and Immortality (which also goes by the baffling yet pretty fuckin’ cool sounding title The Wisdom of Crocodiles). Death Ride was a pretty interesting film actually, especially considering it was based on a true story. If you’re into those trapped-in-a-foreign-country-with-no-way-of-escaping pictures like Not Without My Daughter or Return to Paradise you’ll like that one. The Immortality of Wise Crocodiles was lame though. It had the perfect setup for a vampire sexy thriller but decided to go in a tamer and more boring direction.
I also went back to check out Disclosure but decided against writing about it. There’s only the one scene where Michael Douglas and Demi Moore almost have sex (although it does get a 9 out of 10 on the raunch scale). I figured since they don’t actually have sex and there’s nothing else sexy in the movie it’s hard to call it a sexy thriller. There are plenty of thrills to be had and it does star Michael Douglas but I would just call it a thriller. You know what? Strike that. This is a 90’s computer movie with bad early CGI and babbling on in computer talk that sounded confusing and cutting edge at the time but now it comes off as embarrassing. I love those fucking films. They got dated really fast and will only look stupider as time goes on. So don’t look at Disclosure as a sexy thriller necessarily but as a cheesy awkward 90’s computer flick. So naturally it gets my recommendation.Alright let’s get to this round’s awards:
The movie with the most sex scenes: Zandalee with five. Runner up goes to Wild Orchid with four.
The movie with the most after sex scenes: 9 ½ Weeks and Another 9 ½ Weeks tied with two. All the others either had one or none which is surprisingly low for all of these pictures.
Most interesting place where sex was had: This is a tough one but I think I’m gonna go with the limo going through a tunnel in Wild Orchid. I know this is a similar situation as the car wash sex scene in Crash I chose last time but having sex in a moving vehicle is not something you see in a movie too often. There were other interesting locations like an abandoned hotel (Wild Orchid), a restaurant (The First 9 ½ Weeks), a pool (Color of Night) and a clock tower (9 ½ Weeks). There were also two back alley scenes, one from 9 ½ Weeks and one from Another 9 ½ Weeks.
The movie with the most amount of recognizable faces (cameos): Even though Color of Night and Indecent Proposal are tied with six I’m gonna give it to Color of Night because Sheena Easton and Herbie Hancock aren’t actors and their screen time is very brief making them hard to catch. Runner up goes to Zandalee with five.
Coolest supporting cast: I dunno man, you got Michael Biehn, Richard Crenna and Victor Wong from Jade in one corner and Lance Henriksen, Brad Dourif and Eriq La Salle from Color of Night in the other. This one’s not easy. I’m gonna go with Color of Night because Lance Henriksen and Brad Dourif got more screen time than Michael Biehn and Richard Crenna.
Most absurd plot: Once again it’s Color of Night. Indecent Proposal’s plot is kinda out there but Color of Night’s makes absolutely no sense. It’s a murder mystery that doesn’t feel like one. The story meanders lazily and tries to incorporate too many elements and characters.
Best title: While Indecent Proposal and Jagged Edge sound very intriguing Crimes of Passion encompasses the perfect balance of sexy and thriller. Plus it’s an actual phrase that people use unlike fatal instinct or color of night.
Sexiest movie: Crimes of Passion was probably the dirtiest one and Zandalee probably had the most amount of nudity all around but that ridiculous sex scene in Color of Night makes it the sexiest in my opinion.
Most thrilling movie: Jade. I mean it was directed by William Friedkin and the other ones weren’t. Runner up is Color of Night.
Best sexy thriller of this bunch here: Definitely Jade. I really dug that picture. It had excitement, intrigue, murder, a car chase, a badass lead, sex, conspiracy, mystery, assassination and so on. It’s just a good solid fucking movie that you guys should check out. I guess Color of Night would take second but that isn’t saying much considering the company I put it in. Maybe I was a little hard on that film. As I think back on it there are a bunch of things I remember fondly. I guess it’s not that bad after all. But I would still recommend seeing Jade first if you haven’t already.
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