You know in Swing Time when Fred Astaire sings “The
Way You Look Tonight” to Ginger Rogers while she’s in the other room shampooing
her hair but then she’s so taken by his affection that she walks over, puts her
hand on his shoulder and he turns to gaze lovingly into her eyes, only when he
goes for it his smile turns into shock and bewilderment at the sight of a scalp
full of suds? Why the fuck did Astaire
do that? He’s in love with the woman yet
almost vomits when he catches her mid-shampoo.
What a shallow dick.
I get that they were going for a comedic moment with the
juxtaposition of the song lyrics about how gorgeous this person looks while
trying to make Rogers appear unglamorous during it. But of course Rogers doesn’t look bad at all. She just has some foamy white hair. No big deal.
Rogers eventually catches herself in the mirror and scurries away
embarrassed which certainly would’ve been enough. But to have Astaire shoot her a disgusted
look is well, disgusting. Who the fuck
thought that was good cinema?
This is a really weird and awful moment in an otherwise
great film. Although Astaire also cheats
on his fiancé here so that’s not so cool.
Oh wait and there’s that blackface number he does. Dammit Fred!
Even though the dancing and the songs are off the charts there are some
questionable moments.
Professor Jeff Bridges
Jeff Bridges plays a professor teaching a class on domestic
terrorism in Arlington Road and boy is he bad at his job. He clearly foists his personal point of view
on his students that no terrorist operates alone and the authorities sweep
horrific incidents under the rug as quickly as possible to make everyone in the
country feel safe. He’s also condescending,
obnoxious and unsatisfied with America’s approach to domestic terrorism. In one scene he impatiently asks one of his
students how she felt after a major attack involving a bomb explosion in St.
Louis a few years earlier (made up for the film but this obviously references
the Oklahoma City bombing) with “When you first heard the news of a terrorist
attack in your own country how did that make you feel? Come on.
Well, how did you feel?!” This prompts
the student to finally give the answer he was fishing for of being scared and
angry.
One of the worst things Bridges does though is take his
class on a field trip to the remote cabin where his wife died during an FBI
raid. She and other agents were there to
scope out a suspicious family but a firefight ensued and she was killed. It turns out the family weren’t really
terrorists and it was all a terrible misunderstanding. Bridges tells the story in dramatic fashion
with big hand gestures and yelling all while fighting back tears. I’m sure there were similar examples he
could’ve used that didn’t involve the death of his wife but I guess the
filmmakers thought this was a good way to get that backstory in there.
This douche’s behavior is entirely unprofessional. You don’t drag your personal shit into the
classroom and preach your own beliefs without having any real discussion or
debate. This aspect along with other
missteps make the movie way worse than I remember from twenty years ago.
The Big Clock’s George Dowd is a Big Cock
Mighty publisher Janoth (Charles Laughton (Island of Lost
Souls)) treats everyone like dogshit including his mistress, Pauline (Rita
Johnson (The Naughty Nineties)), and his editor for a crime solving
magazine, George Dowd (Ray Milland (Dial M for Murder)). These two decide to team up to blackmail
Janoth as retribution but when they meet to discuss the idea they get plastered
and go from bar to bar all night. George
just quit his job because he refused to give up his honeymoon for work so he
doesn’t give a fuck. The problem is he
misses the train his wife was on due to the booze binge. He doesn’t have sex with Pauline but it’s
still an incredibly shitty thing to carouse around for hours with another woman
who you just met. Our protagonist folks.
This is only the setup to a genius but incredibly
complicated plot involving Janoth recruiting George to find a murderer. What Janoth doesn’t know is he’s actually
looking for George and George isn’t aware he’s actually looking for
Janoth. It’s very difficult to explain
in writing so I know that sounds confusing and probably impossible but it
miraculously works if you see the movie.
While the picture overall is alright I’m gonna go out on a
limb here and say that the remake done in the 80’s with Kevin Costner (Waterworld)
and Gene Hackman (Extreme Measures) called No Way Out is kinda
better. Sure it doesn’t have the ultra
cool film noir look and vibe but the way they setup the characters and their
positions of power just makes more sense.
It’s still all about a guy who’s tasked to search for himself while
trying to stay a step ahead of his own team of investigators at every turn and
hunt for the real killer at the same time.
Plus Costner is single and doesn’t pull the butthole move of galivanting
with some broad while his wife waits for him at the train station so they can
finally go on their honeymoon.
Both titles are pretty bad though. The Big Clock sounds as dumb as it
turns out to be, which is an actual giant clock that doesn’t really play a role
(apparently in the book it was more of a metaphor), and No Way Out while
fitting is astoundingly generic.
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