Mish Mash Horror Edition (Queen of the Damned, Drag Me to Hell, The Brood, Thirst)

Queen of the Damned

A vampire as the lead singer of a world renowned nu metal band you say?  I’m in!  Or at least I was until I actually saw the picture.  It’s fucking terrible.  The awful special effects and gothic sullen angsty music date the movie into an early grave.

I have to admit the set and costume design is kinda awesome though.  So at least parts of the image are nice to look at.  But the real star here has to be the powerhouse soundtrack with tunes by Korn, Disturbed, Papa Roach, Static-X, Linkin Park, Marilyn Manson and Orgy.  Not really my type of music but holy shit, what an impressive collection of bands from that very specific genre.  I think the only nu metal darling they left out was Limp Bizkit.  And this is all so ironic considering R&B sensation Aaliyah plays the titular role whose music I like a million times more (and which isn’t feature  here whatsoever).

But seriously guys, please don’t watch this movie.  It’s an affront to any creature with eyes and ears, dead or undead.

Drag Me to Hell

Great idea about a cursed woman (Alison Lohman (Matchstick Men)) who must battle a demon that wants her in hell very badly, like yesterday.  Sam Raimi (Darkman) knew how to start and end his movie but didn’t quite know what fill the middle portion with.  There’s an unfortunate stagnation and aimlessness that sets in.

The comedy is hysterical and spot on but the horror stuff is just alright.  There are flashes of that old Raimi magic like the knock down drag out fight in the parking garage, but they’re few and far between.  Overall it’s decent.

The Brood

This one woman’s (Samantha Eggar (The Phantom)) wrath is so powerful that she has the ability to manifest it as physical beings.  She literally gives birth to little deformed five year old girls that go around murdering anyone their mother despises.  And when I say “gives birth” it’s not in the traditional way.  She sorta grows this sack on her abdomen and then tears it open to get the rage babe out.  It’s a pretty fuckin’ weird ass concept but I wouldn’t expect anything less from David Cronenberg (who was going through a divorce and child custody battle at the time…a touch bitter are we?).

Oliver Reed (The Adventures of Baron Munchausen) is fantastic as Dr. Hal Raglan (the opening scene with him in particular is amazing), the intense score by Howard Shore is incredible with echoes of Bernard Herrmann’s Psycho and the visuals get all gross goopy fleshy in classic Cronenberg fashion.  I liked it.

Thirst

A priest volunteers his body for scientific research by agreeing to contract a deadly disease so a cure can be found.  All the test subjects die except for him.  Looks like he dodged a major bullet there.  Well the only teeny tiny snag is that now he’s a vampire.  Not only does he have an insatiable thirst for blood but if he doesn’t feed regularly then grotesque lesions form all over his body.

That plot synopsis may sound relatively straight forward but this is a big story with a lot going on.  It’s too much for me to really get into plus it’s better if you don’t know very much going in.  There’s tons of drama, tons of nasty blood splattering kills and tons of off kilter sexuality.  This is another pip from Chan-wook Park, the writer/director of Oldboy and The Handmaiden.