Vertical Limit

Vertical Limit pushes me to the limit of what I’ll accept with its limitless nonsense limiting my enjoyment of the film.  Alright, alright I think I’ve come to the number of “limits” I can use.  I’m limiting myself from here on out so beware, this will be a limited review.

Oh boy, nothing about this movie holds up.  From the casting of leads Chris O’Donnell (Batman Forever, Batman & Robin) and Robin Tunney (The Craft, Empire Records) to the bad CGI avalanches to the cheap looking green screening to the stoner dude bro comic relief characters to the idea of scaling K2 (the second highest mountain in the world) not being dangerous enough so they throw in human bad guys as well (they pulled the same shit in Twister where apparently deadly tornadoes weren’t adequately villainous) and etc.

Then there’s the just flat out stupid shit.  One of the most baffling things is each member of the rescue team that goes looking for the three trapped climbers carries nitroglycerin with them so they can blast away the snow to get to the survivors.  First off, they procure it from a Pakistani military commander guy (I have no idea why the Pakistani army has this stuff and is storing it on K2 to being with) who has absolutely no problem with these foreign visitors taking it off his hands, then they make a point of demonstrating how unstable the substance is where one little gyration will set it off (but of course it’s never really a concern until the movie needs it to be) and then to top it all off the shit is neon green like some cartoony toxic waste goop!  What the fuck?!  The nitroglycerin angle is entirely unnecessary and like something a seven year old came up with.

There are also a couple of weird coincidences.  One is that Chris O’Donnell and Robin Tunney, who play siblings, happen to be at K2 at the same time but for different reasons and neither knew the other was going to be there.  That’s awkward and an easy fix script wise. 

I do kinda love that Paxton yells "fuck you!" at K2

Another coincidence is the fate of billionaire Bill Paxton (Frailty) who’s attempting to climb K2 for the second time.  His first effort resulted in him and a few others being trapped in the snow for days with few supplies while they waited for a rescue crew.  And wouldn’t you know it, the same exact shit happens again.  Look, I know conquering K2 is extraordinarily perilous but this guy has some bad fuckin’ luck to be caught in an identical situation two times in a row where it all almost plays out the same way.  And both times he turns into a heartless beast that wants to save all the water, food and medicine for himself.  This is a character without any redeeming qualities, a pure asshole to the core.

But maybe the worst aspect of the picture is how it yada yadas over two key scenes at the beginning and the end.  At the start Chris O’Donnell, Robin Tunney and their father (Stuart Wilson (No Escape)) are rock climbing but shit goes sideways and Chris has to make a decision to either cut the rope, which will kill his father and save himself and his sister, or not cut the rope and they all die.  *Sorta spoilers here, it’s the opening of the movie though* Chris cuts the rope leading to a comical setup shot of the calm desert floor and then suddenly wham!  The father splats in front of you.  I’m pretty sure that wasn’t supposed to be funny but it certainly doesn’t come off as a serious moment.  The next thing we know we’re on K2.  Chris and Robin were still dangling there off the side of a rockface hundreds of feet off the ground with no help in sight.  We don’t know how the fuck they got out of there.  The film simply moves ahead after the father slams into the earth.

And then they do this again *yes, actual spoilers this time but fuck this movie* at the conclusion of the finale where Chris and Robin are hanging on a rope in a chasm and we don’t see how they get out.  At least this time there’s someone at the top who can help them but last time we saw her she was struggling to hang on herself.  Instead we hard cut back to base camp where Chris and Robin are resting up and everything’s hunky dory.  C’mon movie, you can’t keep fuckin’ doing this.

Not only is the script bad and the production poorly executed but from what I’ve read none of the mountain climbing shit is accurate either.  Everything you’re seeing is wrong.

So this is a bad movie.  Like, yelling at your screen and shaking your head in frustration kinda bad.  Director Martin Campbell had two huge hits back to back with Goldeneye and The Mask of Zorro but completely fucked up his third major Hollywood outing missing the hattrick.  It’s even stranger to me that he went from one of the best action adventure summer popcorn films ever made with Zorro to one of the worst.

I don’t think I’ll be coming back to this one.  Limit reached.