April Fool's Day

Why are the words “April Fool’s Day” printed on my calendar?  Who started it and why is it still there?  Is that the joke?  That there’s really no punch line, it’s just some weird thing that happened one day?  I Wikipedia-ed this shit but didn’t get a satisfying answer.  In any case someone had the bright idea to follow in the footsteps of such holiday horror films like Halloween, Mother’s Day, My Bloody Valentine and Black Christmas and made April Fool’s Day: The Movie.  Actually it doesn’t have “The Movie” after it but I think most films benefit from adding “The Movie” after the main title.    

But there’s not much to say about this one really.  It supposed to be another slasher picture but they tried to do something different with it.  These friends (actually most of them don’t know each other) gather for a celebration at a house on an island.  They’re your usual thirty something actors cast as college students.  And one by one they get killed off etc. 

They setup that all these characters have something to hide like Terror Train or Slaughter High or Prom Night or the Saw movies.  But in this they never tell you what their secrets are.  And they also never show you anyone’s death either.  We see their corpses afterward but not the actual killings.  This all sounds pretty crappy, I know, but there’s a reason why there’s so much left out.  But it’s not a very good one.

The only person of note in this is Thomas F. Wilson who played Biff in the Back to the Future series.  He plays the goofball jerk stereotype and does some pretty deplorable homophobic banter.  He still does that shit in his standup routine today too.  And I guess I should mention that the director, Fred Walton, did When a Stranger Calls.  Even after seeing the terrible remake I still have hope that the original Walton version will be at least ok.

This movie is all about the ending and I won’t spoil it for you even though I think you can guess what it is.  I wouldn’t really recommend it ‘cause it kinda stinks.  I mean this movie makes no fucking sense.  It’s like an April fool’s joke in itself.  You thought you were going to watch a slasher flick and got this thing instead.  April fools sucker.  And by the way this piece isn’t a joke.  I really think you should skip this one and watch any other movie that I mentioned above.  Actually Slaughter High wasn’t that great from what I remember either.  Ok any one but that one.  You know those Saw movies are kinda crappy too.  Alright fine just watch Stone Cold: The Movie ‘cause that kicks ass…April fools.  It doesn’t really have “The Movie” after it.  But seriously guys Stone Cold is really good you should watch that.