Michael Keaton (Batman,
White Noise) plays a coke and booze addict who admits himself to rehab to hide
out from the cops, who are suspicious of him after they find an overdosed woman
in his bed, and the company he works for, who he embezzled a lot of money from.The thing is he ends up kicking his drug
habit in the process.So his plan
actually backfires.
It’s a solid dramedy with Keaton playing the balance between
psychotic drug fiend, remorseful optimist and straight up asshole very nicely.The movie takes his character in a weird direction
though because he becomes obsessed with a woman he meets in rehab.She’s not really into him but he keeps
nagging her until she finally relents but regrets it immediately.Keaton puts his entire life on hold to forcibly
keep her off drugs.Sobriety is working
for him and demands others see the light.He becomes such a creep that I didn’t care for this guy very much by the
end.This may have been on purpose though
because (Spoiler) there’s a tragic
end to the story which flies in the face of the good deed Keaton thinks he’s
doing.
Silverado
Super screenwriter Lawrence Kasdan’s (Raiders of the Lost Ark, Empire Strikes Back, The Bodyguard) action
adventure western picture is kinda not great.My hopes were high because you have a master of the genre getting to not
only write but also direct on a grand scale his version of the type of film he
had created with George Lucas and Steven Spielberg for years.They’re larger than life escapades that could
only exist on the big screen filled with characters that are heroic and remarkable
yet completely affable and humorous.
Silverado has too
many characters and mini stories that don’t really come together.It tries so damn hard to bring you the kind
of action that makes you smile and even laugh but it falls flat.As I’m writing this I’m struggling to think
of what the hell happened plot wise and who some of the characters were.
Hot Dog…The Movie
Just like North Shore
and a zillion others this is another movie about a kid who has to find out how
good he really is at [insert sport here].This time it’s skiing.There’s
all that same shit about the kid’s idol turning out to be a douchebag,
befriending an older kindred spirit who teaches him the ropes, falling in love
with a girl, etc.
However, unlike North Shore the kid in this one has a supernatural ability for skiing right out
of the gate.He doesn’t fall on his face
and then train hard to reach a higher level of skill.Instead he keeps getting screwed over by the
judges who give the world renown star skier a better score no matter what.That’s kinda dumb ‘cause then our protagonist
doesn’t have anything to work towards.Instead his goal becomes learning to not cheat on his girlfriend.
But that’s in line with the type of frat house picture they
made here.There’s plenty of partying,
including our main group of skiers who have a drink in their hands at almost
every moment, pranks, sex and all around childish shenanigans.As a result the filmmakers make skiing look
pretty stupid and informal like it’s not much different than doing a keg stand
or playing beer pong.The hip kids do it,
you’re wasted most of the time and it’s easy enough that you can still compete
on a national level.
This is a silly outlandish movie for sure, and I can enjoy
that sort of thing (which I mostly did), except there’s one scene that’s really
bad.Our protagonist takes his new
girlfriend out to a bar where they’re having a wet t-shirt competition.At least one woman is dragged onto the stage
against her will in front of dozens of drunk horny dipshits and some of the
guys grab at the women and it’s simply awful.The worst thing is the scene is played like it’s all innocent fun with
beer spraying everywhere and rock music blasting.Everyone’s having a ball with these half naked
ladies being ogled and groped by a lot of dudes.The rest of the film is definitely not
perfect but this particular part is fairly appalling.
Maria Full of Grace
Holy shit what an incredible movie about a teenager named
Maria (Catalina Sandino Moreno (Che, A
Most Violent Year)) who becomes a drug mule smuggling over sixty pieces of heroin
in her stomach from Columbia to the US.If one bursts in transit she’ll die, if not all are accounted for on the
other end she’ll die, if she mentions this to anyone she’ll die.It’s sort of a risky thing to take on.
Maria turns to this extreme shit because her life isn’t ideal.She has a miserable job at a flower factory
de-thorning roses and her boss treats her like garbage.She says she’s sick and has to go to the
bathroom but the piece of crap doesn’t let her go so she throws up on her
roses.Of course he then makes her clean
them up and reuse them as if nothing had happened.
Maria is also pregnant with her boyfriend’s kid but this guy
doesn’t really love her.He takes her
for granted so she dumps the prick.Maria’s
family gives her shit all the time too.They don’t seem to band together very well with constant bickering over
money and responsibilities.They’re barely
scraping by so there’s a lot of tension between everyone.
Seeing the journey this character makes from her shitty
teenage life to drug runner is told beautifully.And by “beautifully” I mean sad as hell.She doesn’t have many options in the small
town outside of Bogota where she lives.The flower factory is the biggest gig there so that’s generally where you’re
gonna find work.Moving heroin becomes very
tempting because it’s a helluva lot more money than what you could make in that
stinkin’ factory.
I love Maria because she’s got so much fuckin’ courage.She says fuck the flower job when her boss shows
no concern for her well being, fuck the boyfriend when she knows he can’t take
care of his own shit let alone a child, fuck poverty when the drug mule offer
comes up and there’s one more thing she says fuck this to but it’ll spoil
shit.She’s such a strong woman that
doesn’t take shit lying down.She knows she
can have a better life and goes down this crazy path to find it.You gotta check this one out.
David Koepp is a hotshot screenwriter.He started off penning cheap action pictures
(Dark Angel aka I Come in Peace) and thrillers (Bad
Influence) but got his big break with Death Becomes Her.Now he’s running in the
same circles as Robert Zemeckis and Steven Spielberg and collaborating on
scripts like Jurassic Park, Carlito’s Way
and The Shadow.Eventually he built up enough clout to try
his hand at directing which resulted in the modest suspenseful drama The Trigger Effect.
Based on the Twilight
Zone episode “The Monsters Are Due on Maple Street” the story is about how
people cope with a prolonged blackout.Things progress the way you would expect with tension and animosity
becoming ever present in the suburban community.People can’t go about their normal lives like
they always have so they get extremely antsy.But there are also unexpected consequences like Matthew (Kyle MacLachlan
(Showgirls, The Hidden)) and Ann
(Elisabeth Shue (Cocktail, Hollow Man))
have a newborn with an ear infection yet they can’t simply go down to the pharmacy
to fill a prescription because it can’t be processed through the computer.This leads to Matthew getting so frustrated
that he steals the medicine when the pharmacist isn’t looking.
Matthew and Ann’s friend Joe (Dermot Mulroney (Zodiac, Copycat)) stops by to check on
them and he stirs the pot by suggesting they buy a gun to protect themselves.He also adds some very contrived sexual
tension between he and Ann.I really
wish they left that out as it doesn’t add anything to the movie.Joe’s an alright guy otherwise though who
cares about his friends and certainly means well.Like when a burglar breaks into Matthew and
Ann’s house during the night Joe is right by the couple’s side to confront the
guy.Unfortunately a neighbor shoots the
thief who was only armed with a small switchblade.To cover himself the scumbag neighbor plants
a gun and lies to the cops about what happened.
After this incident the group decides to leave town for a
while until things cool off.However, the
road isn’t any safer.In fact it seems
like a no man’s land post-apocalypse type place where only the brave or truly
desperate venture.Our protagonists soon
run into more trouble but that’s as far as I’ll go.You’ll have to watch.
This is the kind of smart high concept low to mid level
budget film that doesn’t get made anymore.The building of pressure and dangerous scenarios is well done starting
with shoplifting and climaxing with people pointing guns at each other.The story is relatively simple but poses big
questions.And the characters are
likeable but flawed giving them some depth.Matthew is jealous and doesn’t handle stress great, Ann alludes to a
“checkered past” and Joe is a hard head who thinks he’s always right.
Race is touched on somewhat but not tackled directly.Koepp uses the stereotype of black people
talking during movies to introduce a character (Richard T. Jones (Event Horizon, Concussion)) who plays a
big role later on.This also shows
Matthew’s initial unwillingness to engage in confrontation, even after the guy’s
friend tells Ann to “shut the fuck up, bitch!”, and how certain circumstances
can change a man.The ending may be a
comment on race but if it is I’m not sure what’s being said.The picture really sticks to how the blackout
affects this white family and their white community.
There’s some caution on technological advancement that can
be inferred here.It’s the old argument
about computers ‘n shit being an Achilles heel.If you take that away then humanity won’t be able to function.You can’t purchase anything or go anywhere
because you can’t buy gas or a plane ticket.
Of course the big idea Koepp wants you to think about is how
people react when put in a stressful, confusing and possibly dire
situation.Will we band together to
survive or fight each other in a blind paranoid rage?
On a technical level everything looks good.There’s an impressive shot towards the
beginning that lasts several minutes and follows a bunch of people being
inconvenienced in different ways like getting a drink spilled on them or being
cut in line.It’s interesting because
these little annoyances bug the shit out of all of us but it’s nothing compared
to what’s coming.It’s like you thought
this was bad?You ain’t seen nothing
yet.
The opening narration over coyotes gnawing on an animal
carcass is a little too on the nose though.We get it, we all turn primal when the lights go out.
This is one of those steamy hot pictures like Body Heat or Falling Down where everyone constantly complains how damn hot it is
making you feel sticky gross just by watching.It’s always amazing to me when a movie can portray the stifling heat so vividly
that it’s nearly impossible to remain passive.I tend to get almost as uncomfortable as the folks on screen.
Overall Koepp did a really good job with this, especially
for his first time out.I wonder if he
was blown out working on huge Hollywood spectacles like Mission: Impossible or if he just wanted to try something smaller
for his directing debut, or both.In any
case it did horribly at the box office and was immediately forgotten
about.Fortunately for Koepp this didn’t
have any ramifications.He kept on
writing big shit like Raimi’s Spider-Man,
Fincher’s Panic Room, Spielberg and
Lucas’ Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of
the Crystal Skull and Tom Cruise’s The
Mummy.It’s also nice to know he
kept on directing.The only other one of
his I’ve seen is Secret Window which
was not very good but Stir of Echoes and
Premium Rush are supposed to be
decent.I wouldn’t touch Ghost Town or Mortdecai though, sorry.
So check out The
Trigger Effect.It’s a neat little
film that makes the heady topic at the center of the story feel more accessible
than it should.And I like that aliens
aren’t explicitly stated or even alluded to being the culprits behind the blackout
as opposed to The Twilight Zone ep.The movie hits harder by saying that we’ve
done all this to ourselves.The failing
power, malicious vibes, poor relations and connections we have with each other
is our own doing.Now we have to deal
with it.Thanks Dave.
Meteorologist Bill (Bill Paxton (Trespass(1992))) travels out to rural Oklahoma to retrieve some
signed (he hopes) divorce papers.His
soon to be ex Jo (Helen Hunt (Rollercoaster))
is also a meteorologist and is hesitant about putting down her signature.Part of it is she wants to make Bill suffer
for walking out on their relationship.But the other part is she’s still in love with him.
Bill greets his old scientist friends that comprise Jo’s field
team and they’re all pleasantly surprised and glad to see each other again.But uh oh, Jo didn’t sign the last page of
the settlement.She stalls and Bill gets
annoyed but suddenly one of the assistants yells out “Jo, major action!”Everyone knows what that means but they wait
for the signal.After a moment of
silently gazing into Bill’s eyes Jo gives the green light and they’re off in a
frantic whirlwind to wrangle themselves…a tornado.That’s right, they’re motherfuckin’ storm
chasers.
First I wanna break down Bill and Jo.Yes, they’re clearly meant for each
other.They have a mutual fascination
with tornadoes, they’re enthusiastic about their research, they’re dedicated to
better understanding how a tornado works so they can develop improved warning
systems to help people and they’re both bat shit crazy.
Bill goes by two nicknames, “The Human Barometer” and the
way more radical “The Extreme” (he’s also called “The Most Out of Control Sonuvabitch
In the Game” but I guess that’s too long for a nickname).Now I’m not saying Bill doesn’t deserve to be
called “The Extreme” but it kinda fits Jo a little better.While Bill will put himself directly in the
path of a tornado he always tries to bail out at the last moment. Jo definitely wants to get sucked up into one.She has a death wish and it’s frustrating to
watch.In fact it’s a wonder she made it
this far in her life without getting too close to a cyclone and dying.She’s supposed to be a professional scientist
and not act like a googly eyed zombie forgetting everything she knows when she
sees a tornado.
Hang on a sec though ‘cause I’m not letting “The Extreme”
off the hook that easily.This dude has
serious emotional problems. He’s
antagonistic towards Jo when she tries to make polite conversation, he goes
into rage mode over a competing scientist stealing his idea for a tornado study
experiment and has to be held back, and he insists on driving the truck all the
time even though he keeps fucking up and getting too close to the tornadoes. However, I do love the sorta badass story about
how he got his nickname.You see one
time he strolled up to a tornado while drunk and naked and cursing. He says “have a drink” and throws a bottle of Jack
Daniels at the thing.He was so close
the tornado sucked it right up.Alright,
I guess he earns “The Extreme” moniker.
Melissa is also very nice to everyone, doesn’t look down on
Bill’s friends or dismiss their profession. Nah man, she’s captivated by the world she’s unexpectedly
found herself in.The good doctor even
takes patient calls while she’s out there being twirled around by a
tornado.Sure, she’s freaking out but
she lets the person on the other end know that she’s there for her.She’s just a really good person.
As for those wily tornadoes they do give you a lot of them,
six scenes in total.We see them
destroying structures, flinging debris around and chasing after our
protagonists all like you would want to see in one of these pictures.For something called Twister they certainly deliver on the twister action and I commend
the filmmakers for doing that.
But I will stop short of calling into question how realistic
the tornadoes behave and if Bill and Jo really should’ve died several times
throughout. Yea I know everyone likes to
make fun of them surviving the most violent type of tornado (F5) by tying
themselves to a pipe with puny leather belts, the tornado can pick up the truck
right next to them but they’re left alone, they can outrun a tornado, the
twister roars and screeches like some horrible beast and blah blah blah,
etc.There’s so much in here that seems
like total bullshit movie physics/science type stuff that it gets to a point
where I simply don’t care.It pelts me
into submission.
The CGI used for the twisters isn’t terrible however.I mean if you pull up footage of actual
tornadoes they all look kinda fake.This
massive swirling cloud that appears randomly, damages a bunch of shit and then
suddenly vaporizes seems like something too bizarre to exist in real life.And they look truly frightening to encounter.Fuck these things man.
Getting back to the movie, the filmmakers use a lot of wind,
lighting and rain effects to stand in for the tornadoes most of the time
because CGI was still expensive as hell in 1996 and had limited uses.If you couple that with all the props like full
sized tankers, tree branches, wood boards, farm equipment and etc being flung around
and dropped from the sky the effects are nicely done and convincing.
On the negative end there’s a shocking amount of excess stuff
that didn’t need to be in this picture.I already cited the opening scene.Merely mentioning that Jo’s father was taken out by a tornado is all you
need to do, we don’t have to see it with our own eyes.
Another superfluous aspect is the very high number of
members on Jo’s science team. There
should be Bill, Jo, two other assistants and maybe that one navigator guy (Alan
Ruck (Star Trek: Generations)) with
all the maps ‘n shit whose job ironically would be obsolete in a short ten
years or so.But Jo has no less than ten
members including herself and Bill.And
it’s not like they all have a specific purpose.Most of these characters don’t do anything except spew one line of science
jabber.
And among the redundant team members is Dusty (Philip
Seymour Hoffman (Red Dragon)), who’s
there for comic relief and to try to get the audience pumped by yelling shit
like “we got one!” and “it’s coming, it’s headed right for us!”God I hate this obnoxious quasi hippie character.He’s not funny, he’s not helpful, he’s just a
doofus.Is this asshole even a scientist
of any kind?He doesn’t say anything
science-like or observe weather patterns or study data that’s been gathered or
anything.He’s an exasperating pest who
contributes jack shit to the field work.
Out of everything though perhaps the most pointless element
in the film is the inclusion of the rival storm chasers.They’re sellouts in it for that sweet life
threatening up close tornado observing money, or something.Everything about them is designed to be a
direct contrast to Bill and Jo’s team.The
sellouts dress in stiff slacks and polo shirts as opposed to denim and flannel,
they drive uniform black minivans which is definitely less cool than the
hodgepodge of vehicles in Jo’s fleet, their tiny tornado sensors are angular
cubes instead of smooth orbs and etc.The
film makes you believe these guys are going to play a big role in the upcoming
events but it turns out they have absolutely no bearing on the story whatsoever.If you took them out not a damn thing would
change.They’re only here so the tornado
can have someone to kill later, and even then it’s only two out of the entire
team.
I actually have something to say on the death of the
sellouts and it’s this: what the fuck did they ever do to deserve the gruesome demise
they got?Like one guy gets impaled by a
metal lighting truss and then their car gets tossed through the air and
explodes in a huge fireball.Man, that
death sentence is severe.I get that
these guys are jerks but as far as we know they never endangered anyone’s life,
circulated false science into the community, punched someone in the face or
anything.Yea, they stole Bill’s tornado
observation experiment but their goal was to help people by crafting a better
early warning system, same as Bill’s.The tornadoes are the villains here.They didn’t need human bad guys as well.
One last thing I want to mention is the strange way this movie
maligns weather reporters.Bill gives up
storm chasing to become one and as a result everyone kinda gives him shit for
it.I guess relaying weather newscasts
to the public who rely on that information to know if a fucking tornado is
headed their way isn’t as noble as deliberately and perpetually putting
yourself in the path of that deadly force of nature.What’s with those weather reporters trying to
warn people about imminent danger and aiding them in what they can do to remain
safe? Gosh, what a bunch of losers.
Of course I’m being sarcastic but really, for all the glory
they bestow upon storm chasers the way they’re portrayed here is probably
insulting.I don’t know shit about
meteorology or any of that but I get the strong feeling that this picture makes
people who study tornadoes look like irresponsible idiots.They come off more like thrill seekers in
search of a high than seasoned specialists who have enormous respect for what
they’re studying.I dunno.
Anyway, you add all this up and unfortunately you get a
movie that’s pretty stupid.That may
sound harsh but none of it makes much sense if you think about it.At the same time the movie does have that big
summer popcorn blockbuster feel which is wonderful.And I really mean that.For all the bad mouthing I just did the film
goes down no problem.
Longtime cinematographer turned director Jan de Bont followed
up his fucking tremendous debut Speed
with this.He had been in the industry thirty
plus years by 1996 and that’s what shows up on screen and makes the thing so
easy to watch.The man knows the
language of big Hollywood film and how to satisfy a mainstream audience.He only made five movies during his short
directing career but they were all in the blockbuster style and Twister is no exception.It’s a loud, fast paced, larger than life action
adventure spectacular with just the right amount of hokey romance and comic relief
sprinkled in to make it appealing to a boatload of people.
This was part of the natural disaster genre comeback in the
90’s and it was a big deal when it came out.I remember they were showing real tornado footage in the lobby to get
folks juiced and goddamn did it work (for the record I don’t recall them showing
tornadoes damaging anything so they kept it tasteful, probably, potentially,
actually I don’t have any way of confirming that).The subject matter was deserving of a large
scale Hollywood production and it paid off.Twister was a monster hit.
While this one is a good time overall it has a lot of
fucking problems.The way the characters
are introduced and the initial setup scene is well done but other than that
things are a mess.Although, I can’t
deny the film does everything you want it to do.There are plenty of tornadoes, they cause
destruction, they put the protagonists lives in danger at various moments and
our leads fall back in love by the end.The essential beats are hit.And
everything else is stupid.
Twister was such a
success that Universal Studios made an attraction out of it.Basically it was a recreation of the drive-in
movie scene from the film and we got to see a tornado destroy a bunch of
stuff.It included real sets, props,
fire, water, wind, an unconvincing cow flying by on cables and a decent sized
tornado all meticulously timed to give you a glimpse of what these things can
do.
The attraction is long gone now though and admittedly I never
thought too much of it whenever I did it over the years.But the last time I took a ride I got to
experience the front row with maybe only like five other people.It was like a private showing.Seeing the special effects demonstration that
up close including the fifty foot tall tornado that was created indoors was
incredibly impressive (the technology behind the ride is fascinating which
involved measuring weather conditions in real time outside to help create the
funnel).It also made me realize how
scary that fucking thing is and this is only a fraction of the size of a real
one.This final moment with the
attraction earned it a special place in my heart and by association the stupid
movie it’s based on.
This is probably Paul Thomas Anderson’s (Inherent Vice) best looking movie and
that’s saying a lot.I guess that makes
sense considering the backdrop to the weirdo love story is the world of 1950’s
high fashion.It all needs to be just so
and so does the handling of the delicate plot and characters.Very few filmmakers can make a picture about
an abusive relationship work.In this
case both sides inflict massive pain yet they really do seem to love each other
despite how ludicrous and childish it looks from the outside.
I liked it a whole lot but it’s definitely not for everyone.
North Shore
My buddy had a DVD copy of North Shore sitting in his basement for who the fuck knows how
long.Of all the people that came
through there no one had the courage to put it on.I don’t think the fear was that it was going
to be a very poorly made corny 80’s teen romance picture, but that it was going
to be a boring very poorly made corny
80’s teen romance picture.Well fifteen
or twenty years later North Shore finally
came knocking.And it’s really not bad
(I know, ringing endorsement).
The movie’s about Rick, a surfing teen from Arizona who
makes the journey to Hawaii to find out how good he really is.He falls in love, gains some friends, makes
some enemies, gets disappointed that his hero is a total jerk and etc.It’s nothing special at all.We’ve seen this scenario play out a bajillion
times before with the likes of Thrashin’,
Footloose, Airborne, ‘n shit.
What’s nice about North
Shore though is this kid finds out he has to work pretty damn hard to
achieve his dream.It’s not that he’s
naturally supremely talented like most of the films in this vein.Rick travels on his own to a place he’s never
been to before and where he has no contacts.So he needs to figure out where to stay and how to earn money and
practice his surfing skills so that he can become better.Instead of simply learning to believe in
himself like would normally be the case it’s cool to see Rick pull himself up
and put in a real good effort to make shit workout.
The Fly (1986) Ending
Spoiler on a thirty
year old movie
The ending to Cronenberg’s The Fly is a throwback to older pictures where the credits would
come up as soon as the bad guy was vanquished.No need to do a quick wrap up of events or ramp down of the heart
pumping climax.Here there’s only time
for a couple of brief reaction shots and then they start those end credits
rolling.I wonder if this was an
intentional nod due to it being a remake of a 1950’s joint.It’s an interesting tactic and I wouldn’t be
opposed to more films ending like that.Maybe one day it’ll come back in fashion.
Days of Wine and
Roses
Really wonderful and immensely tragic tale of a drunk named
Joe (Jack Lemmon (My Fellow Americans))
and a teetotaling young secretary named Kirsten (Lee Remick (The Omen)) who fall in love.It’s not too long before Kirsten gets on
board with the booze too and very soon they both can’t put the bottle
down.Their alcoholism ruins their lives
as well as those around them.
The storytelling may be a little ham fisted at times where
it feels like a public service announcement (for AA in particular) but its
heart is definitely in the right place.Director Blake Edwards (10)
and co want you to see how horrible alcohol addiction is and that if you or someone
you know is wrestling with the disease there’s something you can do about it,
the situation isn’t hopeless or endless.
So many aspects are touched on like Joe and Kirsten fail to
hold a steady job, they have trouble looking after a small child, they lie and
steal to get money to buy more liquor, Kirsten vehemently denies having an
addiction and claims she can stop drinking whenever she wants, disappearing for
days at a time, relapsing multiple times, severe withdrawal and etc.
Both Lemmon and Remick give incredible performances (ironically
Lemmon admitted to alcohol dependency later in life) and Edwards goes all in
with almost no comic relief.The whole
thing’s impressive from start to finish.This is one sad and powerful picture.
The Killing of a
Sacred Deer
Every once in a while I run up against a movie where
everyone in it acts in an unnatural way and it makes me feel like an idiot
because I don’t understand why that’s happening.In this case all the characters in the film
are emotionless.They say their dialogue
and go through scenes that are supposed to be filled with tons of catastrophe
but they all remain calm and stone faced.This is what I had a hard time getting past.The story about a teenage boy placing a curse
on a man’s family forcing him to sacrifice one of them to save the others is
weird enough and sorta interesting.There didn’t need to be this experimental sterile performance angle on
top of it.It doesn’t really add
anything to the picture.In fact it’s unbelievably
distracting.I would’ve loved to have
seen this plot executed more straight up but we got what we got.It’s an alright movie.