Harefooted Halloween: Final Destination

What I Liked: Neat Twilight Zone type concept about a teenager, Alex (Devon Sawa (Chucky)), who has a premonition involving the plane he’s about to travel on exploding right after takeoff.  Several other of his friends/classmates bail off the plane with him and the events occur as he predicted.  Death doesn’t like this so he settles the score by going after each survivor.  They’re all meant to look like (insane) accidents to avert suspicion.  The first act in particular does a good job setting up the mysterious circumstance that leads to mixed emotions by all those affected.  Some are grateful for Alex saving their life and others hate him for being the catalyst of their trauma.

We’re all here for the deathtraps and yea, they’re fun.  While I would only categorize one as being straightforward the rest are Rube Goldberg type concoctions that consist of several moving parts and pieces.  In fact they throw in so many red herrings of what you think will happen that it becomes impossible to predict the true outcome in any situation.  Since the Reaper is orchestrating all of this I’m fine with it.  Of course there’s the question of why can’t he simply make someone have a heart attack?  ‘Cuase this is a movie and we need to be entertained goddammit.  Case in point: one victim gets a giant shard of glass straight to the throat, suffers a gas explosion, a knife to the chest and finally a full on house explosion.  Ok, the filmmakers may have gone a bit overboard with that one but it brought a smile to my face and made me laugh out loud.

What I Didn’t Like: This isn’t a huge negative but the characters are pretty bland.  It’s your usual assortment of teens like a bad boy, a doofus, an outcast, a middle-of-the-road kid, etc.

All the stuff in between the elaborate deaths isn’t very intriguing.  Alex attempts to figure out what Death’s grand design is and how he can break it.  I understand we need to have the characters do some investigating and make an effort to save their lives but the entire thing feels futile.  How can you fight it?  They would have to venture down a distinctly more paranormal path to even have a chance, which they don’t do.  With that said…

Overall Impressions: One of the selling points for me is I dig how the film isn’t too supernatural.  But yes, the Reaper undoubtedly exists here and is pulling the strings.  Actually, he shows up in the form of wind and some sort of amorphous floating transparent blob.  The filmmakers wisely decided to make everything look like an accident, a ridiculous freak accident, but an accident nonetheless.  That lends a nice unpredictability to the scenario.

This is a good time.  While it starts off kinda serious laying a sturdy foundation to get you invested things ease up when the bizzarro killings begin.  You can tell the filmmakers were having a ball because the movie ends on a joke instead of a big time scare or ominous beat like most other horror pictures.

I Know What You Did Last Summer Wrap Up

Does this series have a devoted fanbase?  As popular as that first one was I don’t remember anyone talking about it after the early 2000’s.  I wonder if it gains new fans because it doesn’t appear to be brought up much in the horror community or looked back on with a ton of reverence.  If you were there in the late 90’s you might’ve been into it but otherwise the franchise doesn’t seem to have stood the test of time.  The original isn’t great and the first sequel is quite bad so I get it.  And I’m sure most folks haven’t seen the second sequel or the TV show.

You didn’t know there was a TV show?  Amazon put out eight episodes in 2021 but it didn’t do well enough to warrant more.  I could only get through the first three episodes before tapping out.  The characters are deeply unlikeable with the whole production taking on an obnoxious attitude.  They made the premise considerably more complicated to the point that it borders on in-name-only territory.  Unlike the trashy low budget fun of the Scream show from MTV this one doesn’t have much going for it.

Compared to most other horror franchises this one is on the tamer side.  It may not be apparent upon first watch but there isn’t much gore, sex, drug taking, kids partying, excessive violence or anything else that you would normally find in a slasher.  Director Jim Gillespie (Eye See You) wanted almost no blood in the first picture and shot it that way.  However, he and the producers realized later they weren’t getting the impact they desired so to punch it up they went back and added some in reshoots.  This included an entire death scene earlier in the film to help pacing (Max, who gets the hook through the chin during the crab boil).  The sequels do ratchet up the violence and debauchery a touch but not much.

One thing that’s been bugging me that I can finally address is I think the “last summer” part of the title sounds stupid.  When you see it written in that first threatening note the text comes across like a child wrote it.  A way more ominous message would’ve been “I know what you did” or even simply “I know”.  Additionally, the concept of sending these cryptic messages doesn’t line up in my mind with the killer, Ben Willis.  He’s a grizzled middle-aged small town fisherman.  He seems like a guy who would take you head on and not fuck around with cutesy shit like handwritten notes or cutting someone’s hair off in their sleep.

In the end probably the biggest issue these pictures have is the base premise alone asks the viewer to clear a damn high bar.  I just couldn’t get there.  While I can understand the argument for covering up a hit and run manslaughter (to put it simplify, they did a lot more than that) I don’t agree with it.  There’s supposed to be vindication at the conclusion because it turns out they actually ran over a murderer who ended up surviving, oops.  None of that matters though because the kids didn’t know that when they, again, committed several very serious crimes in an attempt to hide the initial one.  Sadly, the rest of the components of the film aren’t strong enough for me to look past this.

And those are the I Knows.  It wasn’t a place that fostered burgeoning talent (most folks involved were either already established or didn’t go on to soaring heights), didn’t do anything very creative or unique with the slasher genre, didn’t do well enough to have much of a life beyond the 90’s and doesn’t hold up that well decades later.  While certainly not the worst set of horror movies they don’t have a lot to offer either.

Harefooted Halloween: I'll Always Know What You Did Last Summer

What I Liked: So this is your standard re-boot-quel that acknowledges the events of the previous films while also having the same plot as the first I Know.  On the surface not very exciting.  However, there’s one really huge difference that sets it apart and I won’t spoil it.  This decision does kinda fundamentally change the series and I’ll give the filmmakers credit for taking a big swing here.  All the weird inexplicable shit that’s sprinkled throughout the movie suddenly makes sense when we get to the reveal.  Now this isn’t some genius piece of work that’s devilishly clever or anything but at least an attempt to mix things up for picture number three is commendable.

What I Didn’t Like: They continue the tradition of setting each installment in a different location and this time it’s Colorado.  While I’m sure the reason for this is because it was the cheapest place they could find to shoot and hey, you gotta do what you gotta do, it does pose a problem.  You see our villain of the series is a killer fisherman so having him show up in a landlocked area makes him look pretty out of place.  He’s surrounded by mountains, fields and farms.  The only water we get in the entire thing is when someone swims in a pool, no joke.

I don’t wanna rag on this too much because it’s a low budget direct to video situation but the cinematography, editing and acting aren’t the best.  If it were shot better I think that alone would’ve helped to improve everyone’s performances.  For the editing they use that crazy coked out style of the mid 2000’s similar to the Saws with quick cuts, sped up footage, white flashes, blurriness and all that junk.  It doesn’t hold up.

Overall Impressions: Admittedly I was expecting this to be much worse than it is.  Surprisingly it’s not all that far off from a real movie.  Like a major studio could shoot the same script and it would probably be fine.  With that said it’s not terribly interesting except for maybe the twist ending.

There’s an argument to be made that this film is better than I Still Know What You Did Last Summer.  For one thing the title makes more sense (more than you realize too).  I mean you could argue it makes more sense than the original as well but I can’t imagine anyone doing that.  In the end this guy is more of a curiosity than anything else.

Harefooted Halloween: I Still Know What You Did Last Summer

What I liked: The one sorta positive thing I can say about this piece is it does what any horror sequel should do, in some areas anyway.  They up the body count, crank the blood, dish out the sexiness, drug use is introduced and the setups are slightly more elaborate.  They also bring in new lead characters which would make sense since almost all of them died in the previous film.  Additionally, the backstory and lore is expanded on.  I mean it’s done in the laziest way possible but it’s here.

What I Didn’t Like: Jesus frick the villain’s plan is insanely elaborate.  I gotta go into spoilers for this so skip to the next section if you wanna be surprised by the bullshit.  *Spoilers* Turns out ol’ Ben Willis survived having his hand ripped off and chucked into the ocean at the end of the last film.  He and his son, Will Benson (get it?  Ben’s son?), hatch a scheme to finish the revenge plot by taking out Julie (Jennifer Love Hewitt (The Tuxedo)) and Ray (Freddie Prinze Jr. (Summer Catch)), and boy oh boy you’re gonna love what they cooked up.  All Will has to do is get into Boston University, take the same classes as Julie and over the course of a year befriend her, gain her trust and hit on her pretty hard to show romantic interest.  Then behind the scenes orchestrate a fake radio contest where Julie and her friends win an all expenses paid vacation to the Bahamas.  Will and Ben want to bait their prey to a specific location that’s eventually revealed to have special significance (didn’t seem to matter the last time Ben went on a slaughter spree but whatever).  Now naturally Julie wants Ray to come along but he declines due to commitment issues.  Luckily Julie’s roommate, Karla (Brandy (Moesha)), invites Will along in Ray’s place (against Julie’s wishes by the way).  The hotel where they stay is located on a remote island only accessible by boat and the day they arrive is the last day of their regular season.  The next day, July 4^th, starts their off season which coincides with hurricane season and wouldn’t you know it, a storm is rolling in right on time.  All other guests staying at the resort flee the island leaving our four leads and five or six hotel staff.  Ben and Will knew this would happen so they could murder Julie and Ray in private.  Except Ray isn’t there.  Well, he feels bad about breaking Julie’s heart so he decides to surprise her and show up anyway (he plans on proposing).  Ben intervenes en route and attempts to kill Ray but he escapes and continues to make his way to the Bahamas.  At the hotel Will and/or Ben dispatch the remaining staff (can’t leave witnesses) and then work on the kids.  Boom, revenge achieved.  Simple, right?  Wrong!  What the fuck is the matter with these assholes?!  Listen, Ben’s goal is to kill Julie and Ray, he can do that anytime anywhere.  The hoax radio contest, the luring of the victims to a faraway isolated hotel (the connection is Ben worked there in the past and murdered his wife in the honeymoon suite), the needless killing of the entire resort staff and Julie’s friends (some are setup to be kinda jerky but they’re all still innocent people), the timing of the events to occur on July 4^th (the date when Ben was run over in the previous film), it’s all completely unnecessary.  The only part I can see working is Will sneaking his way into Julie’s inner circle only to turn on her but he makes the task way harder on himself than he needs to.  Man these two dickheads needed to pause for a sec and reevaluate their whole murder plot.  In this case less definitely would’ve been more.

Overall Impressions: I think they were going for a The Shining vibe with our protagonists trapped in a minimally staffed hotel cut off from the rest of the world.  The place has a dark history of homicide that took place in Room 2XX and someone from the outside attempts to travel to the island to save the day (Ray).  Julie even wields an ax towards the end.  It’s winked at pretty damn hard and I don’t think that did it any favors.

In my opinion this is, uh, not a good movie.  Everything about it is irritating and none of it makes a lick of sense.  It’s not the worst time when you’re in it but even taking a half step back you quickly realize this is a dumb fuckin’ picture.  And I’m not the first to point this out but the title alone is nonsensical.  This takes place a year after the events of the first film which means they plowed into Ben Willis with their Beemer two summers ago, not last summer.

Harefooted Halloween: I Know What You Did Last Summer

What I Liked: At times this can be a nice looking movie.  It opens with a majestic helicopter shot of the North Carolina coast (really California) at sunset with waves crashing against the rocks and a showcase of the winding hilly road that will play a pivotal role later.  The camera eventually sweeps all the way around to show someone sitting on the edge of a cliff who will also play a critical role.  Good ominous vibe to get us going.  Cinematographer Denis Crossan (The Real McCoy, Incognito) includes neat shots like these every so often.  However, the night scenes in particular are very dark and it can be difficult to make out what you’re looking at.

Our killer is a dude decked out in a black fisherman’s slicker, big floppy hat, boots and he wields a handheld hook.  You can’t see his face because the collar of the coat and the wide brim of the hat nearly cover him up completely.  I always thought this was a creepy image.  Almost like a take on the grim reaper or an executioner.  Most slashers favor some sort of mask to hide the identity of the perpetrator but here he’s simply faceless and there’s something unsettling about that.  It’s not the first time a hook has been used as a weapon in horror with Candyman being released only five years prior, and you could throw in general pirate plundering imagery, but it effectively stands out here.  And I appreciate that he employs it to dispatch all his victims as opposed to some other titans of terror like Michael Myers or Freddy Kreuger who tend to shy away from using their signature weapons at least half the time.

What I Didn’t Like: So one of the big problems I have with this picture is the setup.  Our four teenage leads accidentally run someone over with their car, panic, dump the body in the ocean and vow to never speak about the incident ever again.  A year later they start to receive letters telling them “I know what you did last summer” and the blood begins to fly.  We’re supposed to like these young adults who made a mistake and in order to avoid fucking up their futures they did what they thought they had to do.  I just have a hard time getting over this initial hump.  Sure, the hit was legitimately an accident and really only one character is a major asshole who talks the rest into covering it up.  But still, I can’t bring myself to be on their side.  I’m not saying they deserve to be stalked, tortured and murdered for what they did but they sure as hell should be brought to justice and deserve a comeuppance.  Now, factors are clumsily revealed later that try to mitigate all the bad shit these friends did (we’ll get there in the spoiler section) but again, they still committed some serious crimes and I don’t feel nearly as sorry for them as I should.

Just about every aspect of this picture is very middle of the road.  Aside from a few cool shots the acting, editing, horror setups, etc. are kinda whatever.  About halfway through a bunch of silly shit starts to get thrown at us like the killer plants a dead body crawling with crabs in the trunk of a protagonist’s car and removes it ten minutes later without a trace.  He also cuts off another person’s hair in their sleep.  It’s not clear why this is done.  To signal he can get to anyone at anytime?  Humiliation?  Mind fuck?

Overall Impressions: This is one of those movies that was huge at the time and difficult to explain why decades later.  Scream came out the year before which kicked off the 90’s slasher revival and was also written by Kevin Williamson (although he wrote I Know first (based on a book from 1973) and it shows).  There was a marketing gimmick to capitalize on this by advertising on the poster “From the creator of Scream” which led to a successful lawsuit claiming it was misleading.  Wes Craven had nothing to do with I Know.  Regardless I’m sure it worked somewhat.  Plus people were excited about slashers again and clamored for more.  Another factor is Jennifer Love Hewitt (Party of Five) and Sarah Michelle Gellar (Buffy the Vampire Slayer) as the female leads were on hit TV shows then.  The male leads Ryan Phillippe (One Shot) and Freddie Prinze Jr. (She’s All That) were less known but considered stud muffins all the same.  For a short time the film was inescapable being referenced and parodied nonstop.  For that reason it looms larger in my mind than it probably should.

I saw this when it came out, didn’t care for it then and my opinion hasn’t changed.  It’s a fairly unremarkable slasher that doesn’t offer anything truly unique or clever.  It’s teens getting attacked by a madman padded out with mostly nonsensical and forgettable shit.  With that said it’s totally watchable.  Just don’t expect much.

 

*Spoilers from here on*

Alright, this is the stuff I really wanted to get to.  While the idea of teens trying to figure out the identity of the maniac who’s slaughtering them is straightforward, this picture’s reveal has always confounded me.  We’re led to believe for the entire runtime that the person they killed with their car is a guy named David Egan.  I thought I remembered the killer being David’s father seeking vengeance but that’s wrong.  Then after this watch I attempted to piece together the flow of events, checked against Wikipedia and it turns out I was wrong again!  To shortcut this the bottom line is the kids did not run over David Egan but some other dude named Ben Willis.  He’s out for revenge for himself for not only being maimed but also because the four friends dumped his body in the water and left him for dead.  So at first this appears to be taking a different angle on a standard action revenge movie like Hard to Kill or something.  Ben Willis is simply killing those who tried to kill him.  This would’ve been an interesting approach if they saw it through.  However, that’s not what we got.

Cue the wrinkles.  One is that Ben Willis is an actual murderer who bumped off David Egan earlier that night or the day before or something like that.  David accidentally killed Ben’s daughter so Ben was pretty angry about that.  The other wrinkle is Ben was still alive after the kids ran him over and plopped him in the water so it turns out they didn’t kill anyone at all.  These two items are how the movie attempts to get you on board with what the protagonists did.  The guy they hit was a murderer and they didn’t actually kill him anyway.  All of this is explained in like one quick sentence at the finale making it very easy to miss.  Even if you catch that it’s still difficult to unravel what really happened.  Putting all that crap aside it doesn’t forgive all the other horrible crimes our protagonists still committed at the beginning: vehicular assault, leaving the scene of an accident, conspiracy to commit murder, attempted murder, tampering with evidence and who knows what else.

I mean the movie’s dumb enough if you don’t think about it but if you dig deeper it only gets worse.

The Bourne Series (Identity, Supremacy, Ultimatum, Legacy, Jason Bourne)

Let’s go back and take a condensed look at the Bourne series.  To give a brief rundown for those unfamiliar the plot follows Jason Bourne who wakes up one day on a French fishing boat with no memory of who he is.  He was found floating in the sea with gunshots in his back.  Eventually he discovers he’s a CIA operative enrolled in a secret program whose main purpose is to assassinate.  Since the guy’s situation is all fucked up now the agency deems him a threat and tries repeatedly to apprehend or kill him.  Bourne goes on the run, slowly remembers his past and uses his internalized skillset to evade and retaliate.

Based on Robert Ludlum’s novels from the 80’s they originally adapted the first installment into a TV miniseries in 1988, then in the 2000’s there were the Matt Damon pictures (plus that Jeremy Renner one), which is what we’ll be covering, and finally there was a spinoff TV show called Treadstone that ran for one season in 2019.

The Bourne Identity

Real good solid spy action thriller.  The story and mystery beats unfold very naturally where one clue or incident logically leads to the next.  They don’t take big leaps that ask too much of the audience.  With this approach it’s so easy to get caught up in the plot.  It’s remarkable how efficiently the filmmakers juggle the unraveling of Bourne’s true identity, his clandestine mission, the inner workings of the agency behind that mission and, of course, a budding romance between Bourne and the woman who helps him along the way (Franka Potente (Run Lola Run)).

Matt Damon (The Brothers Grimm) is terrific as the amnesia plagued government asset.  He balances his confusion, anger, anxiety, drive and stilted tenderness well.  It’s a tough role because he needs to be distant and deadly but also vulnerable and somewhat naïve.  Damon shows off credible action moves to boot so he ended up being a great pick.

If I have one bone to pick it’s that I’ve always found the action to be neat but slightly underwhelming.  It’s a touch choppy with some sped up camera work so it’s not as clear as I would like it to be.  With that said it’s definitely better executed than the unbearable zoomy shaky bullshit employed in the sequels.

This first one was crowned a minor classic when it came out and is probably considered a full-fledged one at this point.   While not the most amazing thing in my opinion, what it does it does well.  The suspense and tension keep ratcheting up making you want to see where the story goes next.  It’s very enjoyable and fun from start to finish.

The Sequels: Supremacy, Ultimatum, Legacy, Jason Bourne

I know it’s weird to lump all the sequels together but they all share the same issues so to prevent this from getting redundant I think it’s appropriate.

Supremacy picks up two years after the events of the first film.  Bourne is living in hiding in India with his girlfriend from Identity.  All of a sudden some Russian asshole is trying to kill them and Bourne needs to figure out why.  More globe trotting, sleuthing and action scenes ensue.  This continues on through Ultimatum which picks up right where Supremacy leaves off and then twelve years later in Jason Bourne.  Legacy is basically a side quest that takes place concurrently with Ultimatum.  It involves a separate CIA assassin in the same program as Bourne named Aaron Cross (Jeremy Renner (Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters)).  Due to increased public awareness of the covert op the agency decides to cover shit up by terminating anyone linked to it.  Cross proceeds to go on the run, globe trot, sleuth and action shit up.

While fairly watchable I wish I had some positive things to say about parts 2-5.  They don’t work for me on multiple levels.  For starters the sequels unfortunately don’t further the story a ton.  Plot-wise it’s simply the CIA using everything at its disposal to track down Bourne/Cross and take them out.  It’s already established in the first movie that Bourne is part of a larger assassin program with his brethren activated to take him out.  It’s also established that even within the CIA the program is supposed to be sort of a secret so there’s backstabbing and conniving from the start.  Sadly nothing more is uncovered in the sequels.

Bourne’s personal backstory isn’t expanded on very much either.  In total we find out what his actual name is down the line and one other tidbit of history (no spoilers), each with no real bearing on the plot.  Cross’ history amounts to one quick scene explaining he used to be in the military before being recruited.  So the characters don’t grow or evolve almost at all during the series.  It’s so strange that Bourne remains robotic through to the end when he should become more human and empathetic as he tries to shed his past.

Another issue with Bourne/Cross is that they’re too perfect.  Whatever they need to be able to do in any situation they can do.  They can escape any predicament, break into any building, get in contact with whoever they need, speak any language that’s required, spot bad guys no matter where they are or what they’re doing, retrieve any object they need, etc.  Every single circumstance turns out exactly how they predict essentially making them omniscient.  With every goal being easily achievable that makes things kinda boring.

And being indestructible doesn’t help.  Numerous vehicle crashes, explosions, falls from buildings, it doesn’t matter.  They walk away with a limp and a cut on the eyebrow.  Sure, this is par for action films but it becomes difficult to swallow when these characters are also immaculate in every task they set out to do.  It becomes a bridge too far.  There are no stakes then.  If we know they can’t be harmed in any meaningful way and can’t botch any maneuver they make then why should we care about how dangerous the action is?

On top of this the sequels in particular are all shot shakily and chopped to shit so it’s hard to tell what in the hell is going on.  This was a popular style from that time period and has always worked to undercut the menace instead of enhancing it in my opinion.  One last kick in the nuts on this topic is that the filmmakers don’t even get creative with the sequences.  Instead they opt to repeat gags over and over in each installment.  By the time I got to Legacy and Jason Bourne I was completely uninvested.

One more gripe (sorry, I know this is a lot of complaining), travel is yet another area that’s never a hassle.  Bourne/Cross can go anywhere they want without incident.  Their credentials are always good and no one ever recognizes them.  Immigration, customs, Interpol, CIA, no agency can catch them en route.  They always find out after the plane has landed or the train has arrived.  By the way it’s kinda crazy how much traveling these guys do if you think about.  They must spend like days and days going from one country to another.  I don’t know how they pay for any of this shit either.  After the first film money is rarely discussed so it’s a mystery how Bourne/Cross afford anything.  They have to rack up tens of thousands of dollars in travel expenses alone.  But of course there’s also food, lodgings, weapons, gadgets, bribes and other crap.

It's a bummer that the sequels don’t improve on the formula or escalate shit.  They somehow manage to be all intrigue and action scenes while simultaneously being dull.

Conclusion

I totally dig that first one.  It works as a self-contained picture that excites, delights and satisfies.  Bourne shows a greater display of humanity where you feel sorry for him and want to see him get to the bottom of who he is.  I’d go as far as to say he’s even a bit dorky and that only makes him more likeable.  The filmmakers tease the audience along at just the right pace and dole out the mystery in an approachable way.  If you haven’t seen it I definitely recommend it.

Honestly, the rest can piss off.  It’s very contrived how they get Bourne back into the game in Supremacy which then fuels the rest of his journey.  He was minding his own business half way around the world when these morons decided to kick the hornet’s nest.

I mean none of these sequels make much sense.  Supremacy and Ultimatum may have the veneer that they’re smarter and more sophisticated than they actually are but Legacy and Jason Bourne are more flat out dumb.  For example in Jason Bourne a character hacks into the CIA and steals a folder called “Black Operations” with subfolders of all their programs listed.  Incriminating and convenient all in one!

A fairly big problem I have with the Bourne sequels is the same problem I have with most other spy movies, they’re cheesy in a bad way.  For a lot of the runtime you have stiff agency folks in suits in a dramatically lit situation room with the big screen and other agents at their stations furiously typing away spitting out tech mumbo jumbo and government operational mumbo jumbo and tactical mumbo jumbo fretting over every detail while the flawless hero outwits these rubes at every turn.  It’s not that gripping or engaging.  I would say this might work better as a TV show but 24 is pretty similar (from the one season I saw anyway) and debuted the year before Identity.  Plus they did that Treadstone series which I didn’t check out.

In the end the dealbreaker for me is you can’t take yourself this fuckin’ seriously (there’s shockingly no comic relief whatsoever in any of the sequels) while also being this goddamn ridiculous.  And that combination gives them a lame edge.  Then you can pile on that they’re annoyingly uncreative, the action is too repetitive and the universe and characters aren’t really expanded on with each episode like they should. 

Look, I’ve mentioned this before but I’m not a big James Bond fan either which is sort of on the other end of the spectrum of this genre.  It’s meant to be more carefree with tons of colorful characters, innovative stunts and wild plots.  The stuff I find irritating about the franchise is Bond himself is a horrible misogynistic arrogant piece of shit, the plots as well as the villains are cartoonishly absurd and everything always turns out fine so there’s no reason to care.  Most of the installments tend to be more annoying than fun.

Spy thrillers, for the most part, just aren’t my thing.  But check out Identity.

Dogman

A real quick one for ya.  Marcello (Marcello Fonte (Pinocchio (2019))) runs a small business as a dog groomer in some coastal Podunk town in Italy but he also deals a little coke on the side.  Actually the other businessmen in the area seem kinda shady too.  Nothing is explicitly said but it’s just the way they carry themselves.  What’s nice is they all get along and enjoy one another’s company having lunch together and so forth.  Marcello looks happy.  He clearly adores taking care of the dogs, cleaning them, walking them, feeding them and calling them “sweetie”.  Plus he shares a loving young daughter with his ex-wife (who thankfully sidesteps the tired cliché of constantly breaking his balls, surprisingly she trusts him) and they get to spend time with each other going on trips.

All good, right?  Unfortunately, the one big fly in the ointment is a local thug named Simone.  He’s a large dude who constantly does blow, breaks shit, gets in fights and causes general mayhem.  Everyone in town hates him but no one knows what to do.  Simone buys his drugs from Marcello, which by itself would be more interaction than you would want, but this douchebag drags him into deeper and deeper shit because he knows he can push him around.  Whether it’s ripping off suppliers or directly threatening Marcello himself to engage in some bad shit it’s all to fuel Simone’s habit and ego.  The situation keeps escalating while the merciless bullying is endless.

Everything about this film is perfectly executed.  It’s shot wonderfully, the town and Marcello’s shop have a grimy feel, the performances are amazing, the pacing is measured, etc.  The story may be simple but Marcello is a complex character.  He’s a tiny scrawny guy who wants to fit in with his group of friends so he eats with them, plays soccer with them and my guess is he participates in these various illegal activities in order to endear himself.  There’s a part of him that likes being a low level dealer (he occasionally indulges in his own supply as well) because it makes him feel like a minor big shot (sorry for the oxymoron).  At the same time I don’t know if he would partake in any of this shit if his circle of buds were totally on the up and up.

What’s even more fascinating is Marcello’s relationship with Simone.  Similar to the drug dealing there are times when Marcello undoubtedly gets a kick out of hanging with Simone like when they go to a strip club together, do some lines, have some drinks and dance.  Maybe this guy isn’t so terrible after all?  Well, things take a turn when a drive by shooter clips Simone in the shoulder.  This was certainly done by any one of the dozens of folks he’s monumentally pissed off throughout his life.  Suddenly the party-every-day-don’t-give-a-fuck lifestyle doesn’t seem so fun anymore.  But I think Marcello wishes he could be more like Simone, have some of his confidence and braggadocio attitude.  He’s too decent of a person though to take on even a fraction of that persona.  For example he gets roped into being the getaway driver for a burglary job Simone and some other guy pull at a house.  When they mention they threw a yapping dog in the freezer to shut it up Marcello goes back to the house later to rescue it.  His conscience couldn’t bear the thought of the poor animal suffering.

This picture reminds me a lot of Nicolas Winding Refn’s work, especially the Pusher sequels.  This is a brilliant character study and wild slice of life type scenario.  The atmosphere goes from bliss to very uncomfortable in a heartbeat.  The characters have a ton of nuance without fancy dialogue or overwrought plot points.  The story is extremely straightforward yet there’s so much to dig into.  I absolutely love little films like this.