Harefooted Halloween: The Exorcist

What I Liked: There’s a pretty shot to look at sometimes.

The acting is good all around and it’s well cast.

The makeup effects are neat.

What I Didn’t Like: The pacing, awkward editing, shoddy storytelling and the idea that this was made into a movie.

Overall Impression: I don’t get it.  I sincerely don’t understand why this is considered not only one of the scariest films but also one of the best pictures ever.  This is the third time I’ve checked it out and it’s only gotten worse for me over the years. 

I can see how the idea of a possessed little girl would work much better in book form.  Trying to imagine the voice and exact look of the demonic child could invoke creepy images in your mind.  But to attempt to bring that to a visual medium is gonna be next to impossible. (Full disclosure: I’ve never read the book nor do I have any interest)

All of the shit with the fucked up Regan (Linda Blair (Roller Boogie)) is comical.  The green sludge spitting, head spinning, bed shaking, potty mouth spewing and etc is so goddamn silly.  But that’s just the famous stuff.  75% of the movie is made up of boring dialogue scenes that go on too long, somewhat interesting dialogue scenes that get abruptly cut short and a police investigation into the murder of some character (I really don’t know who was supposed to have died because they don’t show you the incident or the corpse or setup that character properly enough so you know who the fuck he is by the time he bites it).

These images are what most of the movie looks like

I think this movie sucks guys I really do.  It doesn’t have many redeeming qualities for me.  I understand that it was edgy for the time but none of it comes off as clever.  Just about all the terrifying shit feels stupidly gratuitous with lines like the infamous “your mother sucks cocks in hell” or Regan stabbing herself in the vagina with a crucifix or peeing on the goddamn carpet.  It’s too in your face with the mistaken thought pattern that brash lewd behavior equals scary.

They even got the fucking title wrong.  I fully admit it sounds bitchin’ but it doesn’t make sense.  The exorcist is Father Merrin (Max Von Sydow (Strange Brew)) but this movie is not about him.  And I reject any argument that says Father Karras (Jason Miller (Rudy)) is the exorcist because at most his story is shared with Regan’s fifty fifty.  The plot really revolves around Regan and her possession.  That’s what drives everything.  So this should’ve been called “The Exorcism” or “The Possessed” or some shit.

The scariest thing in here is when the doctors stick that needle into a vein in Regan’s throat and it starts pumping out blood and they feed a long string in there and ugh!  Disturbingly real medical procedures, that’s what gets me.