Harefooted Halloween: Audrey Rose

What I Liked: It’s all competently shot and the performances are fine and actually, I quite like the soundtrack by Michael Small (The Star Chamber, Marathon Man), blah, blah, blah, moving on…

What I Didn’t Like: Everything else.

Overall Impressions: Man, I got a beef with this movie.  The premise involves a guy named Hoover (Anthony Hopkins (Transformers: The Last Knight)) who thinks his dead daughter, Audrey Rose, has been reincarnated into the body of an eleven year old girl named Ivy (Susan Swift).  When he confronts her parents, Janice (Marsha Mason (Nick of Time)) and Bill (John Beck (Thunder in Paradise)), they think he’s crazy and don’t want anything to do with him.  Hoover is not dissuaded though and keeps calling and showing up at their insanely luxurious NYC apartment.  Ivy suddenly has these intense nightmares that she can’t wake from and the only thing that seems to calm her down is Hoover calling her Audrey Rose and cradling her letting her know her father is here to take care of her.

Audrey Rose was killed in a terrible car accident where she was trapped inside in the overturned vehicle and burned alive when she was five.  So Ivy’s freakouts are her running around screaming and clawing at windows.  Her hands even show burn marks during one particular episode.  Bill thinks she touched the hot radiator in the chaos of the scene.  She also stares into the mirror in a daze and says the name “Audrey Rose” over and over (by this point it’s a name she’s heard countless times from the people around her).  In another incident Ivy is at school where they construct an enormous fifteen foot tall snowman and build a circle of fire to melt him (I’ve never heard or seen this type of thing before, is this common?) only to have a possessed Ivy start to crawl into the fire.  Don’t worry, she’s stopped just in time.  All this stuff is supposed to be proof that something supernatural is occurring and that Audrey Rose and Ivy occupy the same vessel.

Janice and Bill argue about what’s going on with Janice going back and forth on being a believer.  Bill thinks Hoover is a kook.  Meanwhile Hoover is obsessed with the notion that his dead daughter is alive in this other girl and will stop at nothing to be with her.  He even resorts to kidnapping which is how we eventually land in the lengthy courtroom drama portion of the film.

Now, even though the movie tries to be coy it's obvious they’re saying that Audrey Rose is indeed sequestered inside Ivy’s body and she manifests herself during sleep.  But to me this all appears to be mental illness.  Everything shown to us can be explained with that reasoning.  What’s maddening is it’s never brought up.  The closest we come is the family doctor recommends Ivy see a therapist.  In my opinion that isn’t enough to tackle her increasingly bizarre and disturbing behavior.  I mean Ivy is injuring herself when she slips into a manic state by banging against windows, knocking over furniture, falling down stairs and reaching for fire.  This is really fucking serious.

Jesus, I wanted to jump into this thing and tell everyone “STOP!  This girl is sick and needs immediate medical attention!  What’s wrong with all of you?!”  Goddammit I hate every character because no one does the right thing.  They all continue to harm this poor girl who’s suffering with Janice possibly being the most damaging culprit.  At one point she admits in open court that she believes Ivy is Hoover’s reincarnated daughter and then two scenes later she tells Ivy no, that’s not true.  The waffling on that is extremely destructive.  Hell, entertaining the very notion to Ivy that she’s in fact another person is dangerous.

The court case may be the worst part.  Hoover’s attorney’s actual for real defense in the kidnapping of a child is that she’s this guy’s deceased daughter so it’s all ok.  It’s an unprovable theory.  How is the jury supposed to receive that?  Then they bring in a hypnotist to put Ivy under to get to the root of the matter which again, how is this allowed?  As an aside, it’s rich that the judge is fine continuing with Hoover’s ludicrous argument but is wary of hypnotism and only reluctantly goes along with it.  Well guess what?  *Spoilers* During the session the doctor performing the procedure is able to bring out Audrey Rose but the process is too much for the girl and she dies.  Fuck!

Despite what you see elsewhere I wouldn’t classify this as a horror movie.  It’s more of a drama thriller.  The film wants it both ways where it definitely believes the supernatural aspect of Audrey Rose being inside Ivy yet doesn’t provide any unquestionable substantiating evidence to back it up.  In my opinion the film doesn’t present as a mysterious curious case like it thinks it does.  Not enough spooky or inexplicable shit happens.  So the whole thing is a frustrating as hell situation.

It is incredibly sad and awful that every single person in Ivy’s life fails her.  Her parents, her teachers, her doctors, the courts, they all not only drop the ball they blow it to smithereens.  This innocent person who is sick through no fault of her own does not get the treatment she deserves.  Nor does she get the protection or respect from the ones most responsible and closest to her, her parents.  Hoover is a sinister sack of shit who never should’ve been able to worm his way into their lives the way he did.  Fuck all these motherfuckers and fuck this movie.

Side note: from Robert Wise, the director of The Sound of Music, West Side Story and Star Trek: The Motion Picture.

Harefooted Halloween: The Empty Man

What I Liked: David Prior directed the shit out of this movie.  It looks beautiful, the casting is good, the performances are great, the editing is mostly well done, the atmosphere is unsettling, there are many varied locations, the production design is cool, the pacing is methodical, etc.  Prior’s background involves a lot of behind-the-scenes documentaries including the making of a bunch of David Fincher films.  All that time studying other excellent filmmakers must have given him a unique education on the craft where he could pick up techniques through osmosis.  So with this picture you have this interesting blend of styles like what if David Fincher shot a Wes Craven script?  The technical aspects are far and away the film’s best quality.

They really went for something.  Even though I don’t think this thing comes together I admire its ambitious story.  I don’t think I’ve come across a horror film exactly like it.

What I Didn’t Like: Ok folks this is gonna get dicey so I’ll do my best to explain why this bird doesn’t land for me before going into spoilers.  There are essentially two films happening at once (you could conceivably argue three films with the ending).  One is about an urban legend called the Empty Man where you can summon him by whistling across the top of an empty bottle on a bridge at night and think intensely about him while doing so.  You know, similar to Bloody Mary or Candyman where you stare into a mirror and say their name five times to curse yourself.  Over the course of three days the Empty Man will stalk you and eventually kill you.  Plot two is about a teen girl who goes missing and an ex-cop friend of the family, James (James Badge Dale (Little Woods)), tries to track her down only to discover she was involved with a cult obsessed with the Empty Man.  This story is definitely the more interesting one because it builds wonderful mystery and suspense.  James ventures deeper and deeper into what this dangerous organization is and the weird ass supernatural shit they’re tapping into.  While the two stories are dependent on one another they don’t exactly link up successfully.  The payoff ends up being the worst of both worlds with the movie not committing to being either a full on slasher monster situation or a creepy blood thirsty cult jam.  For some the ending could tie everything together in a mind blowing way but for me it’s this awkward beast of curiosity and disappointment.

*Spoilers* Alright, so we go through all this sleuthing and all this building up of the Empty Man and all this mounting tension to come to the conclusion that basically none of it is real.  Well maybe some of it is real.  Honestly I don’t fucking know.  It turns out the cult manifested James, an actual adult human person, into existence when we met him three days prior.  He’s been kept locked up in a room for that time.  So everything we’ve gone through with him are fabricated memories.  The reason for this is the cult wants to use James to communicate with and worship the Empty Man, which is some sort of supernatural being.  This group has been around for hundreds (or thousands?) of years and uses a human bridge to relay communication between the Empty Man and his followers.  Their current messenger is dying (this is what that twenty minute opening in Bhutan relates to) and sometimes they’ve had to wait a long ass time for someone else to come along so they decided to create one in James.  In essence James was the Empty Man all along.  Truthfully guys, I don’t have a goddamn clue if I got any of this right.  If I did then this is only slightly better than the god awful it-was-all-a-dream or it-was-all-in-your-head trope.  At least this doesn’t dismiss the existence of the Empty Man or any of the supernatural shit.  But at the same time it effectively negates everything you just watched.  Nor does it explain why the Empty Man fucks with and then kills people like in a standard horror picture, or why it takes him three days to attack, or why a cursed person can possess others to kill for them, or why all the deaths are made to look like suicides or accidents or bizarre acts, or ok, you get the idea.  We don’t really learn anything about this creature.  Why it does what it does is never explained.  Or maybe they did and I missed it.  Another question you might be asking is why does the cult wanna get with the Empty Man in the first place?  World domination?  Superpowers?  Great wealth?  Not sure.  Again, they may have said but if they did I missed it.

Overall Impressions: Man, I want to like this.  Prior and co elevated the hell out of a not very good script.  From what I gather the graphic novel it’s based on is pretty different so maybe something got lost in translation.  Or it could be as much of a mess as this.  All the goodwill the filmmakers build up by doling out the mystery at the right pace to keep you interested unfortunately kinda gets flushed down the toilet with the ending.

There’s a real slim chance a re-edit could’ve saved this but that would’ve been very difficult.  Plus I think the finale is fully intended to tie all the pieces together.  It’s not something you can simply toss aside.  So we’re forced to deal with a peculiar hybrid mashup that doesn’t work as is and the separate components probably aren’t strong enough to stand on their own either.

Ironically The Empty Man isn’t empty but it ain’t full either.  I completely understand why it bombed.  When this got dumped out in 2020 the few people that saw it did not care for it.  I mean marketing the film must’ve been a nightmare as well.  It doesn’t fall neatly into a category so I don’t envy the people who had to try to sell this strange complex horror/thriller premise.  And it doesn’t help that the title is so generic with other “Man” movies like Slender Man, The Boogeyman and The Bye Bye Man released around the same time.  I know I confused all of them.

If any of this sounds intriguing then go ahead and check out this fascinating oddity of a picture.  For most folks though I can’t recommend it.

Harefooted Halloween: Wrong Turn

What I Liked: Once the action gets going it doesn’t really let up.  Honestly I thought this was going to be a capturing and torturing type scenario but thankfully that’s not the case.  It’s a chase movie with crazy backwoods killers running after a group of lost young people in the mountains of West Virginia.  The pace is quick because the characters always have to be on the move if they want to survive/catch their prey.

Most of the effects are done practically which is a nice thing to see from an early 2000’s production.  Using crude CGI for almost everything, regardless of how it looked, was very popular then.  But since Stan Winston produced and did the effects it appears they mainly did stuff for real here (except for one showoff-y death with computer help).  So scenes like strangling someone with barbed wire, getting shot in the leg, being set on fire and stabbing someone in the gut with a wrench all look great.  The showpiece is supposed to be the three hillbilly villains who are all deformed with messed up skin, scraggily hair, gnarly teeth and so forth but we never get that good of a look at them.  That leads me to my next point.

Interestingly the filmmakers decided to keep the grotesque appearance of the inbreds mysterious.  We pretty much never get a shot head on held for a decent length.  All the way through to the end we see closeups of their bodies or hands or the backs of their heads or wide shots of them in the distance or glimpses of their faces that only flash for a couple of frames before cutting away.  I don’t know if this was intentional from the start, if they didn’t have faith in the designs during production or if these bastards were so nasty looking the producers or higher ups decided to (or perhaps forced to) cut around their faces as much as possible.  On one hand I dig the mystique this builds where your imagination kind of fills in what you can’t see.  On the other hand it’s just a bizarre decision to stick to for the entire runtime.  In the end I think I might like it?  It’s a little different.

Gotta say the set design is fantastic.  The dilapidated shack of horrors that our leads stumble onto is wonderfully filthy and gross with plenty of body parts in jars and trash everywhere and vehicles strewn about from previous victims.

What I Didn’t Like: This is a very straightforward slasher picture with not much going on story-wise.  You got your standard group of twenty-somethings roaming the backroads, getting stranded and fighting for their lives.  That’s fine.  What’s unfortunate is the mountain men aren’t given any backstory or personality.  They’re simply silent murderous ogres who have little interaction with each other.  We don’t know why they do what they do or what their deal is at all.  That with the shot selection and editing choice to not show them very much makes these guys sorta forgettable.

Overall Impressions: Wrong Turn is a workmanlike slasher.  It’s not bad but it’s not great either.  I mean it’s competently made and everything but a bit flat.  They don’t expand on the obvious influences of Deliverance, Texas Chainsaw Massacre and The Hills Have Eyes or subvert expectations by throwing in a left turn twist or anything.  It’s right down the middle.

Maybe the most intriguing thing is that for some reason this spawned five sequels and a reboot.  I only vaguely remember hearing about the original when it came out so to have that kind of legacy is a touch surprising.  And don’t worry, we won’t be taking a detour down that mountain road.

Harefooted Halloween: Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde (1931)

What I Liked: This film is famous for two things and one is the makeup effects.  To transition from Jekyll to Hyde makeup effects artist Wally Westmore (Double Indemnity) and director Rouben Mamoulian (The Mark of Zorro) applied layers of different colors to Fredric March’s face that were revealed in real time through various colored filters in front of the camera.  The end result is arresting.  The shift is so smooth and quick that it looks impossible.  On top of this March is gagging and writhing in agony accentuating his now ghastly discolored face.  Just incredible.  The other transformation scenes are very well done too with the camera panning down to March’s hands to show them turning a darker color and then quick panning up to his face that is either in the midst of transforming or has already fully converted over.  I think a key element to selling these scenes is how fast the changeover is.  It’s not instantaneous but it isn’t dwelled upon either as if to nudge you in the ribs while saying “hey check this out!”  All convincing and marvelous decisions.  I had to rewind these scenes a couple of times to soak them all up including one showing Jekyll only from the back when he suddenly starts to eerily grow taller.

If you came for the effects then you’ll stay for the other famous aspect, Fredric March’s (The Best Years of Our Lives) performance.  He pulls off the genial and amorous Dr. Jekyll and the barbarous and hateful Mr. Hyde perfectly.  We see that as Jekyll he cares for his patients, has a good rapport with his colleagues and friends and dearly loves his fiancé, Muriel (Rose Hobart (Wolf of New York)).  But we also glean that he’s impatient and impulsive.  For example, he hates that his future father-in-law won’t move up the wedding date or when Muriel goes out of town for a month that’s when he decides to take the potion to turn himself into Hyde because he doesn’t know what to do with himself.  As Mr. Hyde March successfully pivots to an entirely different persona.  Aside from outwardly appearing more ape-like (inspiration was a Neanderthal) with a helmet of matted hair on his head, more hair in general, a forward brow, a larger wider nose, buck teeth with top and bottom fangs and a darker complexion, March alters his voice to be gravellier, moves sharply and speedily like a squirrel, has facial ticks where he can’t stop moving his mouth, creepily smiles most of the time and acts like a total piece of shit to everyone he comes in contact with.  It’s one thing for Hyde to look beastly but boy, he definitely acts like a goddamn monster (more on that in a minute).  Part of what makes March so good here is he gives you the sense that Jekyll has some unsettling shit bubbling beneath the surface so the leap to Hyde isn’t insurmountable.  His portrayal is truly sad where you feel for Jekyll’s inability to get a handle on his circumstance.  He feels horrible about the choices he’s made and attempts to make good but Hyde’s devastation is inescapable.

Miriam Hopkins (The Heiress) as prostitute Ivy Pierson is just as compelling.  Jekyll shows her kindness when she needed help so she sorta falls for him.  He can’t seem to forget about her either and as Hyde he chases after her.  The moment Ivy lays eyes on Hyde she’s appalled by his appearance but tries to keep it together.  She’s able to entertain him for a moment but soon after runs for the exit.  Tragically she’s held prisoner and, well, uh, oh jeez, I’m pretty sure the implication is that she’s repeatedly raped by him over the course of a month.  I don’t think you can interpret the situation any other way.  Hyde’s torture extends to psychological abuse as well with him constantly questioning her devotion and remaining physically close to her whenever they’re in the room together.  It’s suffocating to watch.  And man, Hopkins gives a masterful and completely heartbreaking performance.  She’s absolutely terrified but doesn’t know what to do.  She’s too scared to run away or fight back.  She pleads with Jekyll to help her but of course, she’s unknowingly tipping off Hyde that she’s looking for a way out.  It’s unbelievable how awful this character is treated.  Hopkins makes you wanna leap in there and save her.

A third, and lesser talked about element, is the camerawork.  From the very start cinematographer Karl Struss (The Great Dictator, Some Like it Hot) uses a POV shot of Jekyll playing the organ, checking himself in the mirror, riding a buggy to the lecture hall and greeting his colleagues.  It’s weird and different.  Struss employs this POV technique several times with the mirror work being the most impressive where he has to sync March’s movements in the mirror with what’s happening directly in front of the camera.  And I’m no expert but a bunch of other angles and camera moves used throughout I think are unique for the early 30’s.  He gets shots that are more like what you would see decades later in the 50’s or 60’s.  I never knew this type of camerawork existed at that time.  Stunning and remarkable.

Finally, the set design is beautiful.  Jekyll’s mad scientist laboratory has all the wonderful hallmarks like a million glass tubes of various solutions bubbling away, smoke, fire, paperwork scattered about, dramatic lighting, the works.  Dance halls and sex worker quarters are filthy, the streets are foggy, the lecture hall is grand, Jekyll’s and Muriel’s homes are enormous and opulent.  Additionally, the world the characters live in has a labyrinthine quality that’s slightly disorientating.

What I Didn’t Like: Sure, I could bring up some nitpicks like Hyde’s teeth are so bulky March clearly has some difficulty speaking in them, there are these counter-clockwise scene transition wipes that tend to awkwardly start before the current scene is finished, everyone pronounces Jekyll’s name “Jeek-all” instead of “Jeck-all” which I’m sure is more accurate if a touch distracting, but I mean everything else is so expertly crafted none of this shit matters that much.

Overall Impressions: A classic for sure.  This is by far the best version of Jekyll and Hyde I’ve seen (haven’t checked out the infamous 1920 silent version yet though).  Not only is it captivating, devastating, thrilling, moving and disturbing but it’s also scandalous.  This was made pre-Hays Code so there’s suggestive stuff like bare leg, side boob, implied rape and brutal head bashing with a cane.  Damn.

If you thought the Jekyll and Hyde concept was dumb or hokey or a metaphor for human nature that’s too on the nose then try this one out.  I can’t recommend it enough.

Final Destination Wrap Up

We made it guys!  At least I hope we did.  Death could still be stalking us so let’s wrap this sonuvabitch up.

Prior to this run I had seen parts 3 and 4 when they came out and pieces of the rest over the years.  I knew what I was in for and I gotta say the series delivered.  From the very start these insane complex deaths are what got people interested in the concept and they kept rolling them out every few years.  The premonition part of the ordeal isn’t focused on too much and that’s for the best.  It doesn’t matter how or why a character has a vision of doom because there’s no time, the devastation is right around the corner.  Your attention needs to be on the next event if you hope to stop it.  So there’s an immediacy to the series that keeps the train right on rolling without distractions.  Even though we know from part 2 or 3 on that death is inescapable it’s still mesmerizing to see how the events unfold.  We can’t wait to see what the filmmakers will come up with next and are engaged despite basically knowing where it’s going.  That’s a quirky viewing relationship to have.

A key component to keeping the audience tuned in, and part of what makes these breeze by so quickly, are all the red herrings.  Each sequence has a dozen moving parts with the potential for all or none of them to be involved in the final deathblow.  The construction of every deathtrap is mind boggling but your brain tries to figure it out anyway.  Equal attention is paid to the pieces that ultimately will and will not have an impact on the end result.  Therefore the outcome becomes impossible to predict.  This is unique to the series.

Another distinct aspect is that the villain is a never seen Death.  Yea he’s some sorta transparent blob in the first film but they do away with that in the sequels.  The only form he takes consistently is the wind.  That’s smart.  There’s no need to put a face on the threat since everything is supposed to look like an accident.

And that leads to yet another special quality the franchise possesses.  There’s an it-could-happen-to-you tilt to them.  You could call it Freak Accident: The Movie but of course they’re not really accidents, the Reaper is orchestrating everything.  Despite that I still think people view at least some of the incidents as plausible real life events.  In a lot of other horror pictures you’re presented with scenarios that are extremely unlikely to occur, like being attacked by a maniac killer with a chainsaw or being eaten by zombies.  I think most folks can understand and compartmentalize that along with things that carry some kind of inherent risk like driving a car or working in a factory.  However, these movies propose that simply going to the salon to get your hair done or getting a massage or ordering takeout at a drive thru, stuff that’s not innately dangerous, could also end in tremendous disaster.  That’s a big part of what makes the premise of the series so ingenious and captivating.  As bonkers as the setups are there’s a strange relatability to the whole affair.  Mundane people carrying out mundane tasks could result in a horrific demise, your horrific demise.  So you better watch out the next time you cook dinner.

I need to mention the legendary Tony Todd (Candyman, The Crow) makes an appearance in all the pictures except part 4.  He hams it up in parts 1 and 2 as a coroner/autopsy guy where he has dramatic entrances, corpses he fiddles with and a sinister aura.  Cool.  At first I thought he might be the stand in for Death but apparently that’s not the case.  He’s the sage that somehow has knowledge of what’s going on, although he’s never very helpful to our protagonists.

These movies fall into two categories, the serious ones (parts 1, 3 and 5) and the silly ones (parts 2 and 4).  And I much prefer the silly ones.  Part 5 is the most serious where nearly all the traps are treated with an almost Saw-like solemnness.  They do throw in a handful of bad (and even disgustingly racist) jokes but it’s straight faced.  Part 4 is the silliest which has a couple of the wackiest setups (ex: getting your head stuck in the car’s sunroof while rolling through a carwash).  Overall I think part 2 just edges out part 4 as my favorite because it balances the humor with the nastiness of the killings better.  They also minimize the narrative between the “accidents” making them more streamlined.  I fully admit that should be a gigantic strike against them however, it works somehow.  I do wanna give a shoutout to the original as my third favorite.  It’s definitely a solid movie that laid the groundwork for everything that came after it.  All things considered it’s maybe technically the best of the bunch.  From what I gather most fans prefer the serious ones so I’m probably alone on my rankings.  But to be clear, even though I have a preference for the lighter toned entries I don’t hate any of them.  None are miserable to sit through or anything.  They’re all enjoyable which is not an easy feat for any franchise.

What’s even more amazing is that each installment is the same goddamn movie.  Sure, a lot of horror sequels tend to stick to a formula and repeat stuff but I mean these are EXACTLY the same.  Every time we’re starting over from scratch (give or take part 2) so a new set of characters go through the same trauma, have the same questions about what’s going on, make the same discoveries, try the same methods to invalidate Death’s list, someone’s turn to die gets skipped, the survivors think they’ve finally cheated Death but eventually realize they’re wrong and everyone dies anyway.  At least the Saws have a soap opera woven into the narrative but this is purely deathtraps.  Yet they still satisfy.  I guess the main gimmick is strong enough that all other elements can be reduced to their lowest state and miraculously the thing still flies.  Wow.

If a different type of Destination were made, a sober or perhaps philosophical version, you would need to flip the focus of the main sections.  The story would need to be driven by strong characters who approach their predicament in varying ways.  Their background, social standing and economic status would inform how they take the news and what they might do to alter their destiny.  Most of the focus should be on these areas.  The deaths would need to be reduced to simple acts like a fall down the stairs or a mix-up in medications or something to avert suspicion.  No bizarre intricate concoctions.  Fake outs may be ok.  And this picture might already exist for all I know.  It could be compelling.  But look, if we’re not gonna do that then I want the comical zaniness of parts 2 and 4.

So yea, these are fun.  I totally get why there are five of them (with more on the way).  That’s pretty wild considering there’s no real continuing narrative to speak of.  If anything I would put them in the anthology category although that doesn’t feel entirely accurate either.  Doesn’t really matter.  The point is they’re a good time.  Not only are they impressively creative but they’re so damn easy to watch.  It’s a bunch of crazy ideas for deaths strung together with a bare minimum plot all in ninety mins or less.  I’ve already compared them to the Saw pictures a couple of times and that’s because they’re sorta similar.  You have a chain of elaborate deathtraps involving victims that share a connection to one another.  The big difference is instead of some asshole coordinating everything it’s Death/God/Nature.  Spooky.

Harefooted Halloween: Final Destination 5

What I Liked: Some of the death ruses are especially well done.  These are the smaller things that eventually build up to the actual deathblow.  Like there’s a little upturned screw resting on a balance beam while a gymnast is practicing their routine on it.  You’re just waiting for a foot to plop down on it and get stabbed.  Or someone else goes in for laser eye surgery and the machine malfunctions burning the retina.  Neither of these are what kills the person but they’re good squirm worthy setups.

This is probably the best looking film in the series.  No offense to cinematographer Brian Pearson (My Bloody Valentine (2009)) but I would credit this more to director Steven Quale.  He’s a James Cameron protégé who’s worked with him all the way back since The Abyss.  He shot second unit on Titanic and Avatar.  The effects are also a huge step up from the previous film with the showpiece being the initial bridge collapse scene (Greg Baxter (Zathura, Pokémon: Detective Pikachu)).  I do wanna mention the opening credits are neat too with various deadly objects from the other pictures smashing through glass over and over.  Sorta hypnotizing.

Most of the characters are your usual blandness but similar to part 4 there’s one survivor with some dimension.  He lost the love of his life to one of these freak accidents and has become completely despondent.  The destruction all around him is too devastating.  He gets the idea that if he kills someone else, anyone else, Death will spare him.  So he goes nuts and targets his friends with a gun.  This idea of one of the survivors being so desperate he’s willing to murder to save his own life is flirted with in part 3 but it’s taken much further here.  Usually in the other films the characters attempt the opposite, they save each other’s lives from the deathtraps in the hope that that brings them permanent salvation.  It never works so it’s interesting to see a new approach.

What I Didn’t Like: Folks did not seem too enthused about how comedic they went with part 4 so they made part 5 serious.  In fact it’s the most serious one.  I mean sure, there’s comic relief but the jokes aren’t funny.  If you’ve been with me on this FD journey you know I like the sillier installments so this is not a turn I’m all that into.  If you’re gonna go this route I don’t think they went far enough.  Having brooding leads and attempting to make the deaths weightier while also keeping the ridiculous Rube Goldberg type elements just doesn’t mesh for me.  I’ll go more into what I think an absolutely sincere version might look like in the wrap up.

Overall Impressions: The technical side of things gets a nice upgrade which I definitely appreciate.  However, the tone and meat of the movie isn’t my favorite.  It’s probably my least favorite actually due to the dour attitude.  And what little humor they do throw in is utterly terrible.

Like the rest of them you’ll get your elaborate deaths and there’s plenty of amusement to be had in them.  Once again, it’s the stuff in between the deaths that determines more than anything how the picture shakes out, because nuanced characters and a truly thought provoking plot still haven’t materialized (with some minor exceptions).  So this one’s still fine but just doesn’t have the goofiness that I prefer.

Harefooted Halloween: The Final Destination

What I Liked: The fun is back with director of part 2 David R. Ellis returning.  Immediately the tone shifts back to a borderline tongue-in-cheek approach.  The coffee shop the characters frequent is called Death by Caffeine, the movie they go to see is called Love Lays Dying, they attend a NASCAR type race for the explicit reason of hoping to see a car crash, etc.  Some of the deaths are the most gruesome yet (getting your bowels sucked out by a public pool pump) but because of the long cartoonish buildup and all the fake outs and humorous attitude they don’t come off as stomach-churning.  When the tension is finally relieved and the person’s remains are splattered everywhere you do go “ahh!” but you also chuckle.  This is an extremely hard needle to thread and Ellis has been able to do it twice now.

One thing Ellis has improved on since his last outing is the characters are more likeable.  They’re still not interesting whatsoever but this time only a couple are total douchebags.  And holy shit, this installment includes the most nuanced person in the entire series.  One survivor is a middle-aged security guard (Mykelti Williamson (Heat)) who we learn is a recovering alcoholic.  He killed his wife and kid in a car accident because he was drunk and has had to live with that for a while.  When he discovers he’s going to die soon he says he’s at peace with it and is ready to go.  His torment will finally be over.  The guy even contemplates having one last drink before checking out.  For a picture that’s generally on the lighthearted side this somber aspect should clash with everything else around it but I’m surprised at how well it plays.  It makes me wish they explored more avenues like this in the other films.

What I Didn’t Like: Unfortunately there’s quite a bit of questionable CGI with most or all of the deaths employing it.  Our lead also has premonitions before each death that are these ten second complete CGI sequences offering clues to the demises in a mashup of items that will be involved like scissors or a snake or something.  Aside from not looking very good I think this tips the hand a little too much.  The previous films do a better job of vaguely hinting at what will happen.

This was made during a 3D revival period and boy do they lean into that angle.  A ton of crap is inexplicably thrown in your face and that hasn’t aged too well.  To be honest this isn’t really a negative for me.  I’ve mentioned before that I find it kinda charming when you watch a movie that was meant to be seen in 3D way after the fact.  Even though you’re not getting the full experience the way it was originally intended it takes on a new life as an interesting artifact of a bygone era.

Overall Impressions: What a difference a director makes huh?  Ok maybe that’s being uncharitable to part 3.  But for me the cut-to-the-chase attitude of this one is where it’s at.  All the stuff in between the deathtraps is breezed through to move shit along so we can get to the next “accident”.  Similar to part 2 this shouldn’t work, however, in this case it’s welcomed.  All the setups are essentially horrifying bloody live action cartoons.  Ellis knows we want the explosions and guides us through with just enough investment in the characters to get us to the finish line satisfied.

Oh and by the way, despite the title this was not THE Final Destination.  They did more.