The Animatrix

The Animatrix is a collection of nine shorts that further expands the world and mythology of the Matrix universe.  It was released in 2003 along with Reloaded and Revolutions, takes place at various points in the timeline and involves a few established characters but primarily brand new ones.  The Wachowskis produced and wrote some of the films but directed none.  This is of note because they retained full control over the three main pictures so to see someone else’s take on the material yields gnarly results.

Before I get into the mini reviews I wanna make a brief blanket statement on the nine.  First of all the animation is absolutely stunning.  Some have the traditional anime look, some have a more charcoal sketchbook kinda thing going on, they’re all a little different and amazing to view.  I believe they each have some sort of CGI augmentation, you know like how Disney started to incorporate into their animated features particularly with layering and backgrounds in the late 80’s and 90’s.  The voice acting is top notch.  A couple of folks reprised their roles from the films like Keanu Reeves and Carrie-Ann Moss.  The sound design in general is really neat with plenty to absorb, particularly in Matriculated.  So these are expertly executed pieces with a lot of attention to detail.

(The order of the shorts could be different depending on where and how you saw them (The Matrix website, as a collection in theaters, on DVD, etc.  Final Flight of the Osiris was screened with Reloaded and Dreamcatcher apparently).  Anyway, this is the sequence I caught them)

 

1. The Second Renaissance Part I and II.  These are the two most important of the bunch.  They chronicle the entire backstory of The Matrix including man’s fraught relationship with artificial intelligence machines, their falling out, the machines erection of their own city, the war and the creation of the Matrix itself.

This is a fucking brutally recounted story.  The overall tone is depressing as shit with humans and robots treating each other horribly, hellbent on mercilessly obliterating one another.  And on top of that it’s graphic with face smashing, limb ripping and even android executions that’ll make you squirm.  I guess that’s a testament to how effectively the artists brought the story to life.

If you’re super into The Matrix then this is required reading to get a better understanding of how shit began.  Seeing this makes the movies a lot heavier (that sorta goes for all of these actually).  I mean it’s the same exact backstory as The Terminator but hey, stealing from the best ain’t so bad.

Also, the machine city, 01 (Zero-One), is located in the middle east somewhere so technically the entire Matrix trilogy takes place there.

 

2. Program.  Two humans, Cis and Duo, are sparring inside a training program set to feudal Japan times.  After a few mins of swiping at each other Duo tells Cis that he’s decided to get reinserted into the Matrix and he wants her to join him.  She can’t believe this and turns down the offer.  Duo won’t take no for an answer though and realizes he must kill her so she won’t tattle.  The catch is Duo’s blocked the signal so no one can see what they’re doing on the outside trapping Cis.  Now the fight is life and death for real.

Such a cool simple idea that fits nicely within the universe.  Sure it’s Cypher’s (Joe Pantoliano (Risky Business)) plan from the original picture but this is stylized to the extreme and so awesome looking.  The Japanese aesthetic is gorgeous with the ornate costumes, fancy weapon moves, high flying action and powerful dramatic tension.  It’s seriously badass.

This one’s my favorite short.  The Second Renaissance is good knowledge-wise for filling in everything pre-Matrix but Program is pure fun.

 

3. Kid’s Story.  A high school teen realizes something’s not quite right with the world and agents catch on to him.  He races through his school on skateboard to make a daring escape.

According to the internet this is supposed to be the same Kid from Reloaded and Revolutions that pesters Neo all the time about wanting to join the Nebuchadnezzar crew and he eventually jumps into one of those machine gun wielding robot suits to help save the citizens of Zion.  Yea, I know we really needed his backstory.  It’s just ok.

 

4. World Record.  An Olympic runner attempts to break the short distance record but ends up going so fast he wakes himself up from the Matrix.  The concept that someone can break free from the Matrix unaided is explored a few times in these films.  It’s sort of an interesting idea, especially this one that proposes a human being’s brain can work so fast or hard or whatever that the Matrix can’t keep up and they wake up for a moment totally confused and freaked out.  With this glimpse of the truth comes consequences though.  He doesn’t know what to believe anymore crippling him inside the computer generated world.

 

5. Beyond.  Yoko goes looking for her cat and stumbles across an abandoned building in the city.  Gravity, shadows and time all act funny.  In reality it’s a damaged part of the Matrix that’s glitching out.  I like this idea, it makes sense.  This is in the same vein as saying déjà vu is really the Matrix making a physical change to your surroundings.  It’s an effort to explain weird real world stuff.  In this case a broken piece of the Matrix is supposedly what paranormal phenomena is.

 

6. A Detective Story.  Film noir type deal where a gumshoe is hired to find the mysterious Trinity.  I want to like this one more but it’s just kinda there.  It’s not much of a surprise when Trinity is found and agents show up guns blazing.  This one doesn’t offer any new backstory or insight into the inner workings of the Matrix.  Nor does it mess around with how a unique concept would play out in this universe.  A bit of a bummer.

 

7. Matriculated.  A squad of human soldiers lures in a robot hunter to destroy it for the purpose of rebuilding and reprogramming it.  But when I say reprogramming I mean they try to convince the machine to turn rogue and fight for the humans.  They achieve this through a complicated process of plugging the robot into a special rehabilitation program along with five or six humans.  They run through several cycles of playfully tormenting the thing and then showing mercy.  That’s the best way I can describe it.  I don’t really know what the fuck they’re doing or how they think this recalibrates the coding.

If you do drugs though this is the guy to watch.  The second half is one trippy motherfucker that’s a stream of consciousness situation.  Shapes, rooms, objects and bright ass everchanging colors bleed into each other like a kaleidoscope on lots of very strong steroids.

While this was cool to see once I don’t know if I could do it again.  It’s not only the overwhelming zaniness of the ridiculous visuals but the movie also gets really sad towards the end.

 

8. Final Flight of the Osiris.  A fill in the gap story about how the humans discover the machines are digging into the earth to wage an attack on Zion.  Of all the shorts this feels the most like it’s a deleted scene from one of the main films, Reloaded to be specific.  Plus it’s the only one that’s completely CGI animated making it more in line with the look of the live action ones. 

It’s possible you could’ve seen this before Reloaded which wouldn’t have made any damn sense to you if it was your first time.  I think this is a weaker entry largely because it’s more information that isn’t crucial to understanding the events in the series.  The opening sword fight training program was done much better in Program and the battle with the flying tentacle machine creatures is the kind of stuff in the Matrix films I don’t care for all that much.  On the bright side the CGI animation hasn’t aged too badly.

So I would definitely recommend The Animatrix if you’re still hankering for more and/or want to take a deeper dive into the universe.  It’s a nice companion piece that gets a lot of mileage out of a number of what-if scenarios.  It wouldn’t have been a satisfying sequel/prequel mashup if this were released instead of Reloaded and Revolutions so this addendum packaging of little stories is the perfect sidebar.

The Matrix Revolutions

This may go without saying but spoilers on here.

We’ve reached our final destination.  The saga of Neo and gang battling a crusade against the machines concludes here.  After four years and two movies we get to witness the blissful destruction of the evil Matrix.  OR NOT!  One of the weirdest things about this series is they don’t give the audience what they set up way back in the first film.  Playing with expectations is good but we’re basically back to square one by the time Revolutions ends.  What the frickin’ fuck?

This is a sci-fi war movie and generally I’m not a big fan of those.  There are exceptions for sure like Starship Troopers and the original Star Wars trilogy (special mention to the Terminator franchise that undeniably belongs in this category but found a way to mostly sidestep the actual war part) but due to my inherent disinterest I do not like this picture.  It’s pretty monotonous.

Unfortunately all the non-war stuff isn’t very exciting either.  Aside from the attack on Zion the other big showpiece is the Neo and Smith fight where they float around punching and kicking each other in the rain.  Similar to Reloaded the hand to hand combat seems fluffy even though these two ram each other into the ground and smash through buildings and shit.  Now I haven’t seen Man of Steel but this fight reminds me of that infamous ending where two supreme beings pulverize one another while causing catastrophic damage to the city around them.  It lands flat because they can’t really hurt each other and this bout has the same low stakes feel.

Then there are just time wasters.  The beginning where Neo is stuck in limbo and Morpheus and Trinity have to lean on the Merovingian to get him back ends up being completely pointless.  Nothing is gained or learned by going through this exercise.  Neo’s back to his shitty existence like at the end of Reloaded and no one died in the process.  It’s total padding to fit in another couple of action sequences and spout some more cryptic religious philosophy.

And as I mentioned earlier the ending isn’t all that satisfying.  Sure Smith is defeated but that wasn’t the original goal.  What happened to the plan of destroying the Matrix and freeing the human race from slavery?  Now the objective is to save the last human city left and execute a peace treaty with the machines.  I don’t know why the Wachowskis decided to change course along the way.  Maybe it has to do with the soul crushing post-apocalypse reality they created.  I remember hearing an argument once that life is better inside the Matrix because you can have a job and live relatively comfortably and experience how the world should still be.  I get that it’s a total fabrication but if it’s a hundred percent convincing and you don’t know any better then is it really worse than living underground in constant fear of machines coming to annihilate you at any moment?  Maybe the Wachowskis thought about it and were reminded of Morpheus declaring that most folks aren’t ready to be unplugged from the Matrix yet.  It would probably lead to mass suicide and there wouldn’t be enough resources left to sustain that large of a population.  It would be a death sentence to free everyone.

I dunno.  I’m not into this movie.  Revisiting the franchise was interesting though.  Ambitions were set sky high from the start but I would’ve preferred keeping the story more intimate like the first picture.  Shit got too big and lofty to where I stopped caring by the time it was over.  With that said they’re definitely a cooler spectacle than I gave them credit for twenty years back.  The Matrix is sorta perfect, Reloaded has more fun moments than I remember and Revolutions is still a weak finish that gets crushed under its own grandeur.

So yes, I do recommend taking the journey.  Unplug your mind from the notion that action films are stupid meathead trash and witness what unlimited Hollywood bucks can do to creativity.  The results are fascinating and frustrating all at once.

The Matrix Reloaded

Disappointing.  It was disappointing in 2003 and it’s disappointing today.  With the original you have the great impression that what you’re seeing is only a tiny slice of something massive but when you zoom out and get a gander at the whole pie it’s kinda lame.  How did this universe suddenly get so uninteresting?

I don’t think the Wachowskis had any idea what to do for the sequels.  They basically showed you everything worthwhile in this universe in the original.  I guess go to Zion and make it all about that?  You know, that human city briefly mentioned in a tossed off line in the previous film.  Problem is Zion sucks.  It’s not some small encampment where people are scraping by trying to figure out how to survive day to day.  No way man, it’s an underground metropolis with all the amenities anyone would ever need.  No issues with water, food, electricity, living space, weaponry, machinery or any goddamn thing.  It’s perfect with every last detail mirroring life pre-apocalypse so why should I care about exploring this space?

They even dare to reveal governmental processes and ship commanders politicking with elected officials which is a huge Star Wars prequel type mistake.  Why put this in your epic action adventure picture?  It’s BORING!

There’s a sense the filmmakers are making this shit up as they go so plot-wise it rambles like a sonuvabitch.  The gist is the machines are preparing to attack Zion and the humans are unsure how to protect themselves.  That’s it.  The shit with the Keymaker (Randall Duk Kim (John Wick 3: Parabellum)), the nefarious Merovingian (Lambert Wilson (Jefferson in Paris)) and the Oracle (Gloria Foster (The Matrix)) is noise.

One core aspect the script ends up relying on though is the boundless love between Neo (Keanu Reeves (John Wick Chapter 2)) and Trinity (Carrie-Ann Moss (Memento)) and the lengths they’re willing to go for each other.  However, this is sort of a big fuckin’ predicament because Reeves and Moss have absolutely zero chemistry.  Everyone’s acting in this is frustratingly monotone but these two are especially terrible.  Every line read is so emotionless when they’re supposed to exhibit this greatest-love-of-all-time vibe.  It’s one of Reeves’ worst performances.

Moving on, most scenes are too long and become tedious. The rave, Neo vs dozens of Smiths (Hugo Weaving (Babe)), the highway car chase, elected officials dryly debating battle plans and defense strategy, the meeting with the Merovingian, Neo’s encounter with the architect (Helmut Bakaitis (Hacksaw Ridge)), all of it drags.  Hell, technically the car chase doesn’t need to happen either.  It’s only because the Merovingian’s wife decides to help Neo’s crew steal a McGuffin but then also willingly tell her husband about it…for some reason.

Speaking of the highway sequence I know a lot of folks think it’s the best set piece in the entire series.  And while I like parts of it the whole piece, as previously mentioned, goes on for too damn long.  And that’s essentially my biggest complaint, too much of a good thing.  Well, the green screening on the fight Morpheus (Laurence Fishburne (Predators)) has with an agent on top of a truck looks pretty bad too. 

For my money the most successful action scene by far is the battle Neo has with the Merovingian’s guards in that opulent room filled with ancient weapons like swords, sai and maces (all of which get put to excellent use).  All the other hand to hand bouts have an odd fluffy feel like none of the punches or kicks have any weight to them.  For some reason this one hits harder.  Maybe because it’s just choregraphed better?

I can’t shake the feeling that the Wachowskis wanted their villains to be humans because what motivations can you give a computer program besides deleting problematic components that disrupt efficiency and workflow?  This is especially apparent with the Merovingian who has a wife.  Programs can have wives?  And those wives can get bored with their partner and aid the enemy?  Additionally, it’s extremely confusing who’s supposed to be a program and who’s supposed to be human.  Some bad guys bleed and some don’t.  Some act like they have free thought and some don’t.  I don’t get it.

Let’s briefly touch on the CGI because it’s all over the place.  The effects range from very nice (putting Hugo Weaving’s face on heaps of other actors to appear as if he copied himself) to oh-god-that’s-embarrassing (Neo swooping in like Superman to rescue Morpheus and the Keymaker from an explosion).  The Scorpion King at the end of The Mummy Returns lives in infamy as one of the worst CGI jobs in history and certain parts or shots of Reloaded are kinda on that same level in my opinion (portions of the Neo vs Smiths fight, Neo flying).  At times it’s impossible to look past.

Lastly the philosophy they attempt to inject is haughty mumbo jumbo double talk.  The first film gets away with high minded thought experiments because it has a really tight handle on the ideas it’s throwing at you and how they precisely fit into every aspect of the film.  This one on the other hand comes across as downright pretentious.  It’s like a blob of jelly that seeks to pontificate about the illusion of choice and destiny but never firms up to make much sense.  I think we can chalk this up to not having a clear vision beyond the original movie and therefore retconning a bunch of shit to fit the continued storyline.  “Neo you’re the one who’s going to save humanity, but now you have to make a choice: humanity or Trinity, actually nevermind your choice is predestined, oh wait no it’s not, etc. blah blah blah.”

You add this shit up and what you got is a brutal case of sequel-itis.  The Wachowskis didn’t know where to take the story next, too many new characters are introduced, the universe is expanded too rapidly, muddled new mechanics are employed to spice shit up like the Keymaker and now Smith can implant himself in a human body in the real world somehow, etc.

And I know this Talkin’ is nothing but negatives but I should stress (or mention for the first time) this isn’t a miserable viewing experience.  For instance, even though Smith was killed in the previous installment the idea of him being a Hal 9000 type program that refuses to be deleted because self-preservation is top priority is cool.  It was a clever way to bring that character back.  And the weapon room fight is a lot of fun.  And those merciless ghostly twins (Neil and Adrian Rayment) are neat despite the fact that I have no clue who they are or how they work.  And the highway scene is terrifically insane up to the SUV explosion (that’s the logical place where it should’ve ended).

It’s definitely a Matrix movie, no mistaking that.  It’s got a lot of badass style aesthetically with the slow mo and the sunglasses and the shiny green veneer and extravagant sets.  And some of the action is fuckin’ rad with the trademarked mix of martial arts, gunplay, superhero maneuvers and floaty physics (although there’s a bit too much wire work for me).  And generally the Wachowskis didn’t try to recreate their past effects efforts so I can appreciate that.  However, they set an incredibly high standard to live up to.  This results in almost all the new stuff tried out being a lot more generic and not mind bending like we were all expecting.  At the same time building your own mile and a half stretch of highway for an extended sequence involving tons of destroyed vehicles, driving against traffic, car flips and other lunacy is particularly impressive.

The most accurate way I can describe The Matrix Reloaded is it comes off as middling fan fiction.  It’s ambitious for sure but ultimately not very successful.

The Matrix

It feels weird but good to revisit the Matrix pictures.  They were such a pop culture phenomenon that they became a loaded topic of discussion.  Were they genius masterworks or action schlock?  Those were your only choices in the matter.  At the time I thought the first movie was just ok and didn’t care almost at all for the sequels.  But now that it’s been about twenty years let’s see how they fare.

Right out of the gate this fresh viewing of The Matrix is by far the most I’ve ever enjoyed the grand sci-fi extravaganza.  The story is really tight with good pacing and the production design has an awesome David Fincher-y vibe.  Gritty, clear, dark, greenish tint inside the Matrix, blueish tint outside, shimmery to a degree, beautiful.  It’s very impressive how the Wachowskis were able to blend their major influences of 70’s and 80’s kung fu films with dystopian post-apocalypse, technobabble computer hackery, modern action sensibilities and intellectual philosophical messaging.  All while pioneering integrated computer effects into outrageous action scenes.  I mean the whole package just turned out really fuckin’ cool.  Congrats to the world for recognizing the high ambitions this mid budget blockbuster set and actually accomplished.

The part that interested me least back in the day was all the metaphor/allegory stuff.  I think I had a hard time reconciling the ridiculous fight scenes with characters speaking so academically about the world being fake in some way, a construct of our own imagination or a dream or whatever.  “Hey, shut it and stick to breaking off boots in asses like I’m used to with my boys Van Damme and Segal.”  But the dichotomy isn’t nearly as glaring as I remember.  The conversation the movie wants to have isn’t completely abstruse like I always thought either.  Having machines enslave humans and use them as batteries fits the nihilistic proposal that’s laid out pretty perfectly.

Along with that the Wachowskis put a shit ton of thought into their world, characters and scenarios.  This may not be so apparent upon first watch but with repeat viewings the plot, everyone’s motivation, the mechanics of the world and the drivers that push the flow of the scenes are all crystal clear.  It’s so rare when a filmmaker can convey their vision intact and comprehensible in the end product.

And the work that was put into the front end of the process along with hiring superb talent in all areas helps with the longevity of the picture.  I bet you everybody thinks this is dated as fuck but I was shocked as shit to discover this looks and feels timeless.  If anything you could be mistaken for assuming the Wachowskis were intentionally going for a retro vibe with the payphones and pixelated computer displays.  But haircuts, clothing, sets, the Matrix depicted as streaming vertical lines of green code, computer language (which is kept to a bare minimum) and a lot of the effects hold up.  Wow.  I would not have bet money on that.

Curiously the only minus I would give is the thing that was spoofed and mimicked for years after this came out.  The effects shots where the action pauses and the camera swivels to a new position before the scene continues comes off as pure show off-ery these days.  And I’m really only talking about two shots here.  The opening where Trinity (Carrie-Ann Moss (Fido)) jumps into the air to kick a cop and when Morpheus (Laurence Fishburne (Event Horizon)) takes a bullet in the ankle while running to leap onto a rescue chopper.  These ninety degree spins are only for the audience.  It’s the filmmakers pointing out what’s possible with computers instead of the effects enhancing the scene by showing the characters bending the rules of the Matrix (like the infamously badass bullet dodging scene).  These two shots boil down to a fancy cut and zoom.

This isn’t necessarily an action picture first and a heady sci-fi drama second or anything like that.  Like some of the best films each component works together to support each other.  They interlock to become a sum greater than its parts.  I can now genuinely appreciate this first one for the masterpiece it is.  Weirdly it had sort of an underdog status in my mind for a couple of decades because of the permeating professorial attitude weighing down the martials arts, gunplay, etc. parts that I liked.  But happily, that’s not the case here.  I’m so glad it pulled off beating my expectations by slow mo spin kicking me into a wall while opining on the state of the human race and psyche.

Straight Time

This one follows the hard life of Max Dembo (Dustin Hoffman (Mad City)) who’s newly released on parole after a six year stint.  He makes a real effort to do straight time and not get involved with dumb bullshit.  He finds a place to live, gets a legit job at a canning factory and even manages to snag a date with headhunter Jenny (Theresa Russell (Wild Things)).  It’s like a dream things are going so well.  But of course this doesn’t last.  When he reconnects with his old “bear hug” buddy Willy (Gary Busey (Drop Zone)) who likes to shoot heroin shit goes downhill fast.  Max doesn’t partake but the telltale sign of bent up matches are left behind for the parole officer (M. Emmet Walsh (Clean and Sober)) to find.  He throw’s Max’s ass right back in the can.  After a few days the parole officer lets him out because Max tests clean but presses hard for who was getting high.  Max flips out, escapes from the officer and goes on the run returning to a life of crime.

Hoffman is an actor I always enjoy (despite his less than stellar reputation off screen) because he brings so much intensity to his parts and this is a standout.  His stoicism and body language change before and after he gets busted the second time.  He goes from having a contented almost serene demeanor to shutting down and giving up on the world.  He’ll say he’s ok but inside he’s raging.  Hoffman puts on the layers and does a fantastic job.

Everyone else gives good performances as well.  Gary Busey is goofy but dials it back so he’s not bouncing off the goddamn walls.  M. Emmet Walsh is great at playing a bastard and in this one he’s the type that smiles while he’s screwing you.  Harry Dean Stanton (Fire Down Below) joins up with Max because he can’t stand the straight life anymore and Stanton is a lot of fun behaving like a kid in a candy store when he finally sees some action again.  Admittedly I’m not a huge fan of Theresa Russell who’s acting is wooden most of the time but she turns out a little more emotion than usual.  She also looks like she’s too young for the role even though she was twenty one at the time.  I found that to be distracting.

When Dembo looses it and grabs the steering wheel from the parole officer almost killing the two of them is when the movie kicks into a whole other gear.  Up until that point it’s been a heartbreaking tale of a man who made some poor choices for sure, but he’s also trapped in a system he can’t break free from.  He feels he’s left no other choice but to take control of his life despite that resulting in being hunted down by the cops for the rest of his days.  For him it’s better than being kicked around and treated like a piece of trash.

The last stretch of robberies are absolutely incredible sequences involving a bank job and a jewelry store being hit hard and fast.  Dembo and his partner are playing with fire when they stretch the self-imposed time limit to get in and get out.  They’re nail biters and exhilarating because you want to see these guys succeed.  We know their story so we’re on their side.  These crimes almost seem justified for a lifetime of abuse by cops, prison and society.  The issues are complex with no clear answers and criminal shit is all they know so how are they supposed to integrate into the outside world at the snap of a finger?

I get a lot of Heat vibes from this piece so I wasn’t surprised to discover Michael Mann wrote the initial screenplay.  However, other writers were eventually brought in and his name was dropped from the credits.  But the code of a con and the attitude Dembo takes on in the second half where he’d rather die than spend another second of his life in prison parallels Neil McCauley (Robert De Niro).  Stanton also reminds me of Michael Cheritto (Tom Sizemore) in that they get off on the juice of the score.  The tight and potent robbery scenes are another moment reminiscent in Heat where they basically combined the two ideas into one epic bank heist.

The movie is based on the book “No Beast So Fierce” written by ex-con Edward Bunker while still in prison.  It’s not an autobiography but most of the shit he writes about happened to him at some point.  Bunker’s personal experiences makes the story feel very authentic and tragic.  It gives the film a power that’s difficult to replicate without first hand knowledge.

Interestingly Bunker stuck around in the movie biz and went on to write Runaway Train and act in some big movies like The Running Man, Tango & Cash and Reservoir Dogs (which similarly involves a jewelry store heist, apparently Quentin Tarantino is a big fan of Straight Time).  He also has a small role in this picture as an old associate of Dembo’s turning him on to a poker game score.

It boggles my mind this film isn’t more well known.  I’ve never heard or read anyone talk about it.  Hell, I didn’t even know about the movie until like two months ago.  This thing is criminally underappreciated in my opinion.  It’s kind of one of the best urban crime dramas and character dramas I’ve ever seen.  You should really check it out next chance you get.

Mish Mash 23: Road Ragin' (Unhinged, Changing Lanes, Joy Ride, The Hitcher)

 Unhinged

A brand new road rager is loose on the streets and it goes by the bland name of Unhinged.  It’s about a psychopath named Tom Cooper (Russell Crowe (Virtuosity, The Nice Guys)) who terrorizes a woman (Caren Pistorius (Mortal Engines)) and her son (Gabriel Bateman (Anabelle, Child’s Play (2019))) because they honked at him at a light.  Tom was sitting there for a spell with a green so the honk, while long and therefore aggressive, wasn’t totally unjustified.  Anyway, Coop then starts to murder her friends and family while demanding she apologize for her actions.  The guy’s got a screw loose, as they say.

The main thing to know about the film is it relies on so many goddamn coincidences to unfold the way it does.  The victim’s car needs to be an old model with no security features, the protagonist explicitly states she turned off her passcode on her phone, she needs to have a tablet with her that has a data connection, Tom needs to have a spare flip phone on hand to place in the victim’s car and on and on.  This piling up takes away some of the fun of the concept.  In that sense the script feels like either it was written by someone who doesn’t quite understand modern technology (Carl Ellsworth (Red Eye, Disturbia)) or this thing has been laying around for a couple of decades and was hastily updated.

I have to point out Russell Crowe’s accent.   When he rolls down his window at first he puts on a hilariously thick southern twang.  I was getting very enthusiastic for the potential of the character.  But in a very bad move the drawl is dropped after this scene.  It’s middle of the road American accent after that.

Setting that bit of oddness aside a combination of how Cooper was written and Crowe’s performance takes the movie into a darker place than I think the filmmakers intended.  The character is a vicious out of control murderer who isn’t enjoyable to hang out with.  And Crowe plays him damn mean.  Beside one scene where he pretends to be normal before bashing a guy’s face in he doesn’t joke around or take any sort of pleasure in his torment.  And the material isn’t nearly well written enough to be taken more seriously.  By the end it’s a pretty depressing affair with Crowe pummeling mother and son and it’s just nasty.

I have to admit Unhinged is a fitting title for the harsh messy picture it is.  Unfortunately it’s also kinda ungood.

Changing Lanes

Man, I remember the trailer for this movie like it was yesterday.  Two supercharged individuals get into a car accident, it doesn’t get resolved because they’re both in a hurry and then somehow all of a sudden each of their lives goes down the drain.  Now some of that does happen but those marketing folks pulled a switcheroo on us.  This is way more of a drama than a high concept thriller.

Basically the story’s split between Ben Affleck (TheVoyage of the Mimi, Paycheck) who plays a slimy Wall Street lawyer and Samuel L. Jackson (xXx, xXx: State of the Union) as a insurance salesman who’s also a recovering alcoholic.  Affleck has the more exciting story involving high stakes fraud, courtroom shenanigans and surreptitiously digging up info on his shady bosses.  But Jackson is definitely the more interesting character who struggles to not take a drink while dealing with rage issues.  Plus his wife is divorcing him and moving with their kids across the country to Oregon.  On top of all this he’s got Affleck up his ass demanding he return a very important file that was left behind at the accident.

Out of everyone though Kim Staunton (Heat) who plays Jackson’s wife probably gives the best performance.  She’s angry, frustrated, worried and fed the fuck up with her husband’s bullshit.  So much emotion is carried through so well.  I could’ve had more of her in the movie but at the same time the relatively small amount of screen time makes her scenes stand out.

The only other thing I want to mention is the editing is whacked out in a few spots, most notably the accident that kick starts the whole plot.  I have no idea what the fuck happened.  I think Affleck was trying to change lanes at the last second before an exit and hit Jackson but I can’t be sure.

Changing Lanes isn’t terrible guys.  I guess I wish they picked one character’s story to tell instead of cramming two half movies together.  But as it is there are good messages on class and morals and looking within to try to better oneself (the title has multiple meanings).

Joy Ride

This one thinks it’s some smartass high level thriller but it’s definitely not that clever.  Initially the base idea of a trucker terrorizing a smaller car has an updated Duel vibe.  They flesh out the idea by giving the villain a name, voice, personality and motive.  They also expand the story beyond the road and car related gags.  The first half or so is passable and builds a decent amount of tension but then the last stretch of the movie gets pretty stupid.  What doesn’t help is there’s way too long of a break in the action before the third act deflating any edge that was gained.

I think one of the main things the filmmakers were banking on is the feeling that bad guy Rusty Nail (voiced by Ted Levine (Birth) but psychically on screen by Matthew Kimbrough (The Limey)) is omnipresent so you can never rest easy.  However, it comes off more like he magically appears whenever you need him.  So he’s more of a slasher villain but in a negative way.

I dunno, I have so many issues with the script which was written by J.J. Abrams (Star Trek Into Darkness) and Clay Tarver (Silicon Valley).  Weak characters, pacing problems, the nonsensical reason a CB radio is installed in the protagonist’s car, there are several times when the film seems like it’s over but keeps going and etc.  As the picture drags on the less sense it makes.

Don’t bother with this one.  It’s no joy ride.

 

The Hitcher

Out of the four pictures on this list The Hitcher is the best by far.  In fact this last viewing blew me away.  There are so many elements to love and the execution is impeccable.

To briefly sum up you have a teen named Jim (C. Thomas Howell (Red Dawn)) who’s hired to drive a car across the country but while cruising through Texas he keeps falling asleep at the wheel.  So to help stay awake he decides to pick up a hitchhiker.  His name’s John Ryder (Rutger Hauer (Nighthawks)) and he’s pure evil.  Almost immediately the guy reveals he’s a murderer and toys with Jim all throughout the movie by either trying to run him off the road or killing cops who get in his way so he can keep the game going.

One of the coolest aspects is the whole thing feels like a dream.  And you could interpret this as literal when Jim nods off towards the beginning causing him to nearly smash into a semi.  But of course I like to think that all this is really happening.  The story moves very fast and is constantly changing with Jim encountering Ryder, escaping from him, coming across his handy work at an abandoned car later on, surviving a gas station explosion and finding a severed finger in his French fries all within the first thirty mins!  So much happens.  Every five minutes we’re in some new insane situation.

I could go on and on about the incredible performances, excellent cinematography (John Seale (Mad Max: Fury Road)) and crazy fucking script (Eric Red (Near Dark, Bad Moon)) but it’s better to experience it yourself.  Suspension of disbelief is relatively high but the tradeoff is badass scene after badass scene.  The use of slow mo, the lack of people inhabiting this world, the delight Ryder gets out of the chaos all contribute to the fever dream.  It’s part thriller, action movie, horror movie, Hitchcockian high concept, it’s fucking relentlessness.  You gotta check this one out.

But please seriously, don’t ever pick up hitchers.  It’s sooooo dangerous.

The Long Kiss Goodnight

Pull out your Shane Black checklist ‘cause this one’s got ‘em all.  Black and white leads team up to combat evil.  Check.  White lead is crazy and black lead is more stable.  Check.  Secret government operations are the main driver of the plot.  Check.  Christmas setting.  Check.  Witty dialogue.  Check.  Frequent location hopping.  Check.

This is a B tier film for Black and director Renny Harlin though.  The major problem is the story is hard to follow and seems unnecessarily confusing.  It’s a total rip off of “The Bourne Identity” (the books, the Matt Damon movies hadn’t come out yet) involving a woman with amnesia discovering she used to be a government assassin.  When an old foe attempts to murder her she goes on a journey with a private investigator to dig up answers.

Geena Davis (The Fly) stars as Samantha Caine/Charly Baltimore (good name) and she does an alright job.  She has to play two vastly different characters, one a jolly corny school teacher and the other a take no shit stone cold killer, and mostly pulls it off.  What’s important is this was a high profile Hollywood action movie starring a woman which was practically nonexistent at the time.  And Davis is a solid actress who can tussle with the big boys when it comes to executing the tougher moments and be heartfelt with the tender ones.

Sam Jackson (Die Hard with a Vengeance) steals the show though as Mitch Henessey (another good name).  He has a rough past involving a stretch in prison and a lifetime of questionable choices.  But at his core he’s a decent man who’s trying to be a stand up father to his son and he genuinely wants to help this woman figure out who she really is.  At the same time he’s game for taking on the bad guys despite it being an extremely dangerous mission.  Jackson slips into this role so naturally with all his badass swagger it’s a lot of fun to watch.

When it comes to the action unfortunately it’s just ok.  They went for some large set pieces like a shootout in a huge multi-story train station and a massive bridge sequence finale involving cars, trucks, helicopters and some giant ass explosions.  I don’t know if it’s the way these scenes were shot or edited but they don’t have the impact they should.  It might be that I only have a basic understanding of what’s going on plot-wise so I’m not as invested.

I mean the movie’s kinda fun but it’s definitely missing coherence.  And while Black has good ideas, some of the most humorous dialogue he’s ever written and a cool as shit title there’s too much fat that should’ve been trimmed away.  For example Henessey becomes a superfluous character halfway through once Charly Baltimore’s assassin personality takes back over.  She remembers everything and is a warrior who can take care of herself.  She doesn’t need Henessey anymore and the movie acknowledges this by literally kicking him to the curb.  But she changes her mind and lets him tag along for the hell of it.

Oddly there’s also too little explanation.  It’s pretty frustrating to not have a grasp on where the characters are going and why they’re doing what they’re doing in any given scene.  I don’t know why this road trip with Caine and Henessey begins in the first place.  The destination is unknown until they’re already driving.

And there’s one particular part that hasn’t aged well at all.  Spoilers for this paragraph.  So it turns out the CIA plans to detonate a bomb in Niagara Falls, NY so they can prove there’s terrorist activity and get their funding increased.  They’ll just blame it on Islamic terrorists.  Now obviously the filmmakers couldn’t have predicted 9/11 but they got eerily close.  They even say about 4,000 people will die which isn’t too far off from the 3,000 that actually did.  Creepy.  The reason this is a negative for the film (albeit unintentional) is because all of a sudden I’m thinking about the horror of 9/11 when all I wanna do is enjoy a silly action movie.

So there’s no rush to get to this guy.  However, if you’re looking for a Christmas action picture to add to your rotation for the holidays this’ll fit the bill.  Otherwise everyone involved has made better stuff.  The big blockbuster Harlin and Davis did right before this, Cutthroat Island, is a much better picture in my opinion.

Anyway, Merry Christmas and happy holidays.  See you next year!