Harefooted Halloween: Final Destination 5

What I Liked: Some of the death ruses are especially well done.  These are the smaller things that eventually build up to the actual deathblow.  Like there’s a little upturned screw resting on a balance beam while a gymnast is practicing their routine on it.  You’re just waiting for a foot to plop down on it and get stabbed.  Or someone else goes in for laser eye surgery and the machine malfunctions burning the retina.  Neither of these are what kills the person but they’re good squirm worthy setups.

This is probably the best looking film in the series.  No offense to cinematographer Brian Pearson (My Bloody Valentine (2009)) but I would credit this more to director Steven Quale.  He’s a James Cameron protégé who’s worked with him all the way back since The Abyss.  He shot second unit on Titanic and Avatar.  The effects are also a huge step up from the previous film with the showpiece being the initial bridge collapse scene (Greg Baxter (Zathura, Pokémon: Detective Pikachu)).  I do wanna mention the opening credits are neat too with various deadly objects from the other pictures smashing through glass over and over.  Sorta hypnotizing.

Most of the characters are your usual blandness but similar to part 4 there’s one survivor with some dimension.  He lost the love of his life to one of these freak accidents and has become completely despondent.  The destruction all around him is too devastating.  He gets the idea that if he kills someone else, anyone else, Death will spare him.  So he goes nuts and targets his friends with a gun.  This idea of one of the survivors being so desperate he’s willing to murder to save his own life is flirted with in part 3 but it’s taken much further here.  Usually in the other films the characters attempt the opposite, they save each other’s lives from the deathtraps in the hope that that brings them permanent salvation.  It never works so it’s interesting to see a new approach.

What I Didn’t Like: Folks did not seem too enthused about how comedic they went with part 4 so they made part 5 serious.  In fact it’s the most serious one.  I mean sure, there’s comic relief but the jokes aren’t funny.  If you’ve been with me on this FD journey you know I like the sillier installments so this is not a turn I’m all that into.  If you’re gonna go this route I don’t think they went far enough.  Having brooding leads and attempting to make the deaths weightier while also keeping the ridiculous Rube Goldberg type elements just doesn’t mesh for me.  I’ll go more into what I think an absolutely sincere version might look like in the wrap up.

Overall Impressions: The technical side of things gets a nice upgrade which I definitely appreciate.  However, the tone and meat of the movie isn’t my favorite.  It’s probably my least favorite actually due to the dour attitude.  And what little humor they do throw in is utterly terrible.

Like the rest of them you’ll get your elaborate deaths and there’s plenty of amusement to be had in them.  Once again, it’s the stuff in between the deaths that determines more than anything how the picture shakes out, because nuanced characters and a truly thought provoking plot still haven’t materialized (with some minor exceptions).  So this one’s still fine but just doesn’t have the goofiness that I prefer.

Harefooted Halloween: The Final Destination

What I Liked: The fun is back with director of part 2 David R. Ellis returning.  Immediately the tone shifts back to a borderline tongue-in-cheek approach.  The coffee shop the characters frequent is called Death by Caffeine, the movie they go to see is called Love Lays Dying, they attend a NASCAR type race for the explicit reason of hoping to see a car crash, etc.  Some of the deaths are the most gruesome yet (getting your bowels sucked out by a public pool pump) but because of the long cartoonish buildup and all the fake outs and humorous attitude they don’t come off as stomach-churning.  When the tension is finally relieved and the person’s remains are splattered everywhere you do go “ahh!” but you also chuckle.  This is an extremely hard needle to thread and Ellis has been able to do it twice now.

One thing Ellis has improved on since his last outing is the characters are more likeable.  They’re still not interesting whatsoever but this time only a couple are total douchebags.  And holy shit, this installment includes the most nuanced person in the entire series.  One survivor is a middle-aged security guard (Mykelti Williamson (Heat)) who we learn is a recovering alcoholic.  He killed his wife and kid in a car accident because he was drunk and has had to live with that for a while.  When he discovers he’s going to die soon he says he’s at peace with it and is ready to go.  His torment will finally be over.  The guy even contemplates having one last drink before checking out.  For a picture that’s generally on the lighthearted side this somber aspect should clash with everything else around it but I’m surprised at how well it plays.  It makes me wish they explored more avenues like this in the other films.

What I Didn’t Like: Unfortunately there’s quite a bit of questionable CGI with most or all of the deaths employing it.  Our lead also has premonitions before each death that are these ten second complete CGI sequences offering clues to the demises in a mashup of items that will be involved like scissors or a snake or something.  Aside from not looking very good I think this tips the hand a little too much.  The previous films do a better job of vaguely hinting at what will happen.

This was made during a 3D revival period and boy do they lean into that angle.  A ton of crap is inexplicably thrown in your face and that hasn’t aged too well.  To be honest this isn’t really a negative for me.  I’ve mentioned before that I find it kinda charming when you watch a movie that was meant to be seen in 3D way after the fact.  Even though you’re not getting the full experience the way it was originally intended it takes on a new life as an interesting artifact of a bygone era.

Overall Impressions: What a difference a director makes huh?  Ok maybe that’s being uncharitable to part 3.  But for me the cut-to-the-chase attitude of this one is where it’s at.  All the stuff in between the deathtraps is breezed through to move shit along so we can get to the next “accident”.  Similar to part 2 this shouldn’t work, however, in this case it’s welcomed.  All the setups are essentially horrifying bloody live action cartoons.  Ellis knows we want the explosions and guides us through with just enough investment in the characters to get us to the finish line satisfied.

Oh and by the way, despite the title this was not THE Final Destination.  They did more.

Harefooted Halloween: Final Destination 3

What I Liked: Even though the side characters are obnoxious the leads are likeable.  Similar to the previous films they don’t have strong identities but they’re totally fine to hang out with for a short while.

What I Didn’t Like: Part 2 went with a somewhat lighter tone where all the deaths had almost a humorousness to them which led to a fun time.  Here we swing back to more weighty territory, which admittedly is a little disappointing, but the problem is actually worse than that.  Some scenes are portrayed very silly while others are deadly serious inducing nasty whiplash at times.  Case in point, two self-centered teen airheads are at a tanning salon grooving to the 70’s R&B classic “Love Rollercoaster” (a nod to the opening involving a malfunctioning roller coaster) when they get trapped in the beds and are cooked alive.  The scene is bouncy and the characters are designed to not make you feel too bad about their demise.  Cut to the next scene of their funeral where the protagonists discuss how clues of tragic events are left in photographs before they occur.  Some examples are shown: a line across Abraham Lincoln’s forehead and a shadow of a plane against the World Trade Center.  9/11 was only five years prior.  Hell, it doesn’t play well now.  Having bimbos get tanned to death one moment and then be reminded of 9/11 the next is kinda jarring.  So this shit just doesn’t blend well together in areas.

Overall Impressions: Part 3 comes off like a worse version of part 1.  Aside from some passing mention of the events of the first two we’re essentially starting over with brand new characters, a new setting and a new way for our lead to predict the future.  Beside the initial premonition during the opening she uses photos she took to try to determine the fates of the survivors.  None of it is handled as well.

The biggest issue is the sharp tone shifts.  Director of the original, James Wong, is back from taking Part 2 off and my guess is he wanted to sober the franchise up a bit, bring it back to where he had it, but then outside forces pushed for some witty angles.  The end result is sorta messy and not great.

If you’re looking for some absurd deathtraps then sure, you’ll find them.  But it’s the weakest so far.

Harefooted Halloween: Final Destination 2

What I Liked: Those damn deathtraps get amped up like they should.  I mean the opening sequence with a massive highway pileup, loose timber logs twice the size of telephone poles, crashes, flips and explosions galore is an incredible spectacle.  Good news, spectacular explosions are all over this thing.  Not to mention other nasty shit that of course, all comes out of left field due to plentiful misdirection.

They got the tone just right.  While the first film took the material fairly seriously, especially in the first act, you could sense the atmosphere getting a bit lighter as it went.  As I mentioned previously it ends on a joke.  This time the filmmakers lean more towards the comical and playful.  They know the people are here to see the deathtraps and are looking for a good time so they focus on that.  Only the barest story is set up as a framework to tie the outrageous “accidents” together.  This shouldn’t work because we’re opting for cheap thrills at the expense of character and story.  However, the deaths and everything leading up to them are handled cheekily enough that it kinda works.  For example one victim is in a dentist’s office all gassed up for a procedure so he’s conscious yet can’t move.  Above him is a mobile of plastic fish and one falls right into his mouth blocking his airway.  Or another victim gets into an elevator with a man carrying a box full of prosthetic arms, some with hooks.  Her hair somehow gets caught on one of them and she can’t get it undone.  It’s weird but amusing choices like these that give the horrific fatalities a humorous edge.  There were two gags in particular where I laughed out loud.

What I Didn’t Like: Unfortunately the characters aren’t nearly as likeable this time around.  They’re all strangers and mostly adults of different ages and backgrounds which is a nice change of pace instead of a group of teenaged classmates.  But they’re here to be fodder so they’re given a distinct singular trait so you can tell them apart and nothing more.

Most of the budget must of went to designing and executing the elaborate death sequences because the rest of the production has a tad of a cheap feel to it.  That’s a minor negative though because they put the money in the right places in my opinion.

Devon Sawa does not return as Alex due to some sort of dispute between him and the studio.  This is fine except they kill the character off between films making it difficult to bring him back if they choose (spoiler, to date they have not brought him back).  It’s also sorta insulting he dies by a brick to the head which is such a lame sounding way to get rid of your main character that kicked off the franchise.  Oh well.

Overall Impressions: Now this is what I’m talking about.  The previous picture has some weight to it which appropriately makes sense since they were trying to sell a horror concept to audiences based around catastrophic tragedies where dozens or hundreds of people will perish.  But now that we have that one out of the way we can go wild with the freak accident ideas and have some fun with it.

Director David R. Ellis (who had an insane career as a stunt man (Lethal Weapon, Road House, Days of Thunder) and second unit/assistant director (Harry Potter and Sorcerer’s Stone, The Matrix Reloaded)) manages to balance the deaths out with enough humor and winking at the camera that you’re never bogged down by dread or disgust.  He knows the type of movie he’s making (a sequel about a bunch of folks getting killed in ridiculous and intricate ways) and dials in the climate fittingly.

This one falls into the category of movies that technically aren’t better than the original but you would rather watch most of the time anyway.

Harefooted Halloween: Final Destination

What I Liked: Neat Twilight Zone type concept about a teenager, Alex (Devon Sawa (Chucky)), who has a premonition involving the plane he’s about to travel on exploding right after takeoff.  Several other of his friends/classmates bail off the plane with him and the events occur as he predicted.  Death doesn’t like this so he settles the score by going after each survivor.  They’re all meant to look like (insane) accidents to avert suspicion.  The first act in particular does a good job setting up the mysterious circumstance that leads to mixed emotions by all those affected.  Some are grateful for Alex saving their life and others hate him for being the catalyst of their trauma.

We’re all here for the deathtraps and yea, they’re fun.  While I would only categorize one as being straightforward the rest are Rube Goldberg type concoctions that consist of several moving parts and pieces.  In fact they throw in so many red herrings of what you think will happen that it becomes impossible to predict the true outcome in any situation.  Since the Reaper is orchestrating all of this I’m fine with it.  Of course there’s the question of why can’t he simply make someone have a heart attack?  ‘Cuase this is a movie and we need to be entertained goddammit.  Case in point: one victim gets a giant shard of glass straight to the throat, suffers a gas explosion, a knife to the chest and finally a full on house explosion.  Ok, the filmmakers may have gone a bit overboard with that one but it brought a smile to my face and made me laugh out loud.

What I Didn’t Like: This isn’t a huge negative but the characters are pretty bland.  It’s your usual assortment of teens like a bad boy, a doofus, an outcast, a middle-of-the-road kid, etc.

All the stuff in between the elaborate deaths isn’t very intriguing.  Alex attempts to figure out what Death’s grand design is and how he can break it.  I understand we need to have the characters do some investigating and make an effort to save their lives but the entire thing feels futile.  How can you fight it?  They would have to venture down a distinctly more paranormal path to even have a chance, which they don’t do.  With that said…

Overall Impressions: One of the selling points for me is I dig how the film isn’t too supernatural.  But yes, the Reaper undoubtedly exists here and is pulling the strings.  Actually, he shows up in the form of wind and some sort of amorphous floating transparent blob.  The filmmakers wisely decided to make everything look like an accident, a ridiculous freak accident, but an accident nonetheless.  That lends a nice unpredictability to the scenario.

This is a good time.  While it starts off kinda serious laying a sturdy foundation to get you invested things ease up when the bizzarro killings begin.  You can tell the filmmakers were having a ball because the movie ends on a joke instead of a big time scare or ominous beat like most other horror pictures.

I Know What You Did Last Summer Wrap Up

Does this series have a devoted fanbase?  As popular as that first one was I don’t remember anyone talking about it after the early 2000’s.  I wonder if it gains new fans because it doesn’t appear to be brought up much in the horror community or looked back on with a ton of reverence.  If you were there in the late 90’s you might’ve been into it but otherwise the franchise doesn’t seem to have stood the test of time.  The original isn’t great and the first sequel is quite bad so I get it.  And I’m sure most folks haven’t seen the second sequel or the TV show.

You didn’t know there was a TV show?  Amazon put out eight episodes in 2021 but it didn’t do well enough to warrant more.  I could only get through the first three episodes before tapping out.  The characters are deeply unlikeable with the whole production taking on an obnoxious attitude.  They made the premise considerably more complicated to the point that it borders on in-name-only territory.  Unlike the trashy low budget fun of the Scream show from MTV this one doesn’t have much going for it.

Compared to most other horror franchises this one is on the tamer side.  It may not be apparent upon first watch but there isn’t much gore, sex, drug taking, kids partying, excessive violence or anything else that you would normally find in a slasher.  Director Jim Gillespie (Eye See You) wanted almost no blood in the first picture and shot it that way.  However, he and the producers realized later they weren’t getting the impact they desired so to punch it up they went back and added some in reshoots.  This included an entire death scene earlier in the film to help pacing (Max, who gets the hook through the chin during the crab boil).  The sequels do ratchet up the violence and debauchery a touch but not much.

One thing that’s been bugging me that I can finally address is I think the “last summer” part of the title sounds stupid.  When you see it written in that first threatening note the text comes across like a child wrote it.  A way more ominous message would’ve been “I know what you did” or even simply “I know”.  Additionally, the concept of sending these cryptic messages doesn’t line up in my mind with the killer, Ben Willis.  He’s a grizzled middle-aged small town fisherman.  He seems like a guy who would take you head on and not fuck around with cutesy shit like handwritten notes or cutting someone’s hair off in their sleep.

In the end probably the biggest issue these pictures have is the base premise alone asks the viewer to clear a damn high bar.  I just couldn’t get there.  While I can understand the argument for covering up a hit and run manslaughter (to put it simplify, they did a lot more than that) I don’t agree with it.  There’s supposed to be vindication at the conclusion because it turns out they actually ran over a murderer who ended up surviving, oops.  None of that matters though because the kids didn’t know that when they, again, committed several very serious crimes in an attempt to hide the initial one.  Sadly, the rest of the components of the film aren’t strong enough for me to look past this.

And those are the I Knows.  It wasn’t a place that fostered burgeoning talent (most folks involved were either already established or didn’t go on to soaring heights), didn’t do anything very creative or unique with the slasher genre, didn’t do well enough to have much of a life beyond the 90’s and doesn’t hold up that well decades later.  While certainly not the worst set of horror movies they don’t have a lot to offer either.

Harefooted Halloween: I'll Always Know What You Did Last Summer

What I Liked: So this is your standard re-boot-quel that acknowledges the events of the previous films while also having the same plot as the first I Know.  On the surface not very exciting.  However, there’s one really huge difference that sets it apart and I won’t spoil it.  This decision does kinda fundamentally change the series and I’ll give the filmmakers credit for taking a big swing here.  All the weird inexplicable shit that’s sprinkled throughout the movie suddenly makes sense when we get to the reveal.  Now this isn’t some genius piece of work that’s devilishly clever or anything but at least an attempt to mix things up for picture number three is commendable.

What I Didn’t Like: They continue the tradition of setting each installment in a different location and this time it’s Colorado.  While I’m sure the reason for this is because it was the cheapest place they could find to shoot and hey, you gotta do what you gotta do, it does pose a problem.  You see our villain of the series is a killer fisherman so having him show up in a landlocked area makes him look pretty out of place.  He’s surrounded by mountains, fields and farms.  The only water we get in the entire thing is when someone swims in a pool, no joke.

I don’t wanna rag on this too much because it’s a low budget direct to video situation but the cinematography, editing and acting aren’t the best.  If it were shot better I think that alone would’ve helped to improve everyone’s performances.  For the editing they use that crazy coked out style of the mid 2000’s similar to the Saws with quick cuts, sped up footage, white flashes, blurriness and all that junk.  It doesn’t hold up.

Overall Impressions: Admittedly I was expecting this to be much worse than it is.  Surprisingly it’s not all that far off from a real movie.  Like a major studio could shoot the same script and it would probably be fine.  With that said it’s not terribly interesting except for maybe the twist ending.

There’s an argument to be made that this film is better than I Still Know What You Did Last Summer.  For one thing the title makes more sense (more than you realize too).  I mean you could argue it makes more sense than the original as well but I can’t imagine anyone doing that.  In the end this guy is more of a curiosity than anything else.