Mish Mash 22 (Blood Beat, Demon Wind, Night Train to Terror, Psycho Cop Returns, The Suckling)

A buddy was kind enough to gift me some movies from the good folks at Vinegar Syndrome.  They restore and release bottom of the barrel type schlock across all genres but whatever problems the films have they always tend to be entertaining.  I’m glad someone is taking up this crusade because you never know when you’ll come across a diamond in the rough or have your imagination captured.  The Syndrome does an excellent job with their releases so if you haven’t checked them out give ‘em a look.

Blood Beat

All the movies on this list are very low budget and I don’t know what kind of numbers the productions were dealing with but this one and The Suckling (which we’ll get to) feel the cheapest.  A small group of actors in mainly one location, not a ton of effects, 4:3 aspect ratio and the running time is padded the hell out with a billion superfluous shots added to many scenes.

The story is about a demon samurai who kills people in Wisconsin and he has a psychic connection with some of the other characters.  I don’t understand (get used to that phrase ‘cause it’ll pop up a few times) the superpowers some characters possess but I think the samurai is probably an attempt to craft a new scary slasher icon which was an era that was just coming to a close when this was released.  It takes a while to get going but once it does the guy can’t stop killing.  The watch would be more enjoyable if the runtime wasn’t so bloated with scenes that go on for too long (and it’s only eighty seven mins!).

Overall it’s surprisingly memorable though and the sound design may be a strong reason why.  For the music they use a mix of up tempo classical string quartet pieces, pulsating synth and down tempo moody synth all of which works great.  The sound of wind blowing and heavy mask breathing are used extensively as well.  Some scenes play out with just the music or sound effects over the footage which elevates the material in an interesting way.

This and Demon Wind are the two I would recommend out of the five here if you’re willing to subject yourself to less than spectacular but still oddly charming filmmaking.

Demon Wind

A group of friends travel out to a cabin in the middle of nowhere to discover what happened to the protagonist’s grandparents many years ago.  When they arrive they find they can’t leave and must battle zombie demon creatures that will turn you into one if they so much as scratch you.

I immediately pegged this piece for exactly what it is, an Evil Dead wannabe.  It actually does a decent job of replicating that formula with a good amount of nice makeup effects and a relentless ratcheting up of dire circumstances.  It really feels like there’s no escape from the hell these folks stumbled into.  I don’t understand the ending at all though where the hero transforms into some conehead looking guy.

Whatever, kinda fun but ultimately I don’t know how often (if ever) I’m really going to revisit this when The Evil Dead is sooooo much better and there are two of ‘em (yea I know, Army of Darkness, but it’s pretty different than its predecessors and I’ve always categorized it in my mind as sort of a standalone anyway).  Also, not a great title.

Night Train to Terror

Board the night train where you’ll find an anthology picture featuring three tales.  God (Ferdy Mayne (The Fearless Vampire Killers)) and Lucifer (Tony Giorgio (The Godfather)) are riding together in a compartment and they fight over the souls of the people in the stories.  In the other cars there’s a rockin’ band with dancers kickin’ it to a bluesy tune that has sort of a throwback 50’s vibe.  Connection?  Not a clue.

The first segment is about a guy who gets recruited by a team of doctors to lure female victims to their hospital so they can dismember them and sell their body parts.  The second involves a group of people who engage in games of Russian roulette except they use creative methods like letting a gigantic fucking deadly flying insect loose in the room to see who it stings or lying underneath a swinging wrecking ball to see who it’ll land on and smash.  And the third episode features Satan (or Satan’s assistant?) disguised as a human who hangs out around LA, kills anyone who attempts to discover his secret and looks for slimeballs to enlist in his evil army.

All the descriptions above aren’t entirely accurate though because there are a million weird details that I’m not gonna bother with.  Figures because apparently each story was their own individual abandoned film that was edited down to about twenty mins.  It certainly feels that way.

So despite the fact that there’s plenty going on all the time it’s marred by constant bewilderment.  Each section is hard to follow and it only gets worse as the movie progresses.  The film’s difficult to enjoy as a result in spite of the intriguing story ideas.

Psycho Cop Returns

I’m gonna say right up front that I have not seen Psycho Cop so I could’ve made a big mistake.  Oh well, can’t do anything about it now.

For Psycho Cop Returns it seems they were going for a Die Hard parody of sorts with the plot involving douchbags throwing a bachelor party after hours in their high rise office building.  Who the hell does that?  They invite strippers, guzzle booze and generally act like jackasses all while the psycho cop picks them off one by one in the empty skyscraper.  They play up the comedy which isn’t a very successful blend of corny jokes and cringy frat house humor.  Unfortunately the deaths aren’t all that creative or hard hitting either but again, it’s supposed to be part comedy.

However, the biggest problem with the movie is they don’t take advantage of the cop angle nearly enough.  He’s just a crazy person in a police officer uniform committing standard slasher activities.  He slings a lot of cop puns but he doesn’t abuse his authority to commit crimes Bad Lieutenant style.  The only effort he makes is when he fools his victims for a moment into thinking he’s a legit cop who’s there to rescue them but soon after he reveals his true intentions.

By far the best part is the opening credits.  It’s a fast cutting montage of the psycho cop’s squad car filled to the brim with various body parts and there are pentagrams and “666” written in blood everywhere (I forgot to mention he’s also a Satanist) while a screeching guitar track blasts.  It’s pretty fuckin’ awesome.

Lastly, the film has a weird ending (spoilers) where they recreated the Rodney King beating except with the roles reversed.  A bar full of people witness the psycho cop beating up a woman so they come to her rescue and pound the shit outta that dude with blunt instruments while someone films.  Commentary on the times.

The Suckling

Among this set The Suckling is the worst one which is too bad because it probably has the best title.  It’s about an aborted fetus that gets flushed down the toilet and grows into a mutant killer by way of toxic waste exposure in the sewer.  The thing enacts its revenge on the abortion clinic/brothel by tearing everyone inside limb from limb.

This one’s definitely the sleaziest entry with all the gruesome abortion stuff and the horrible way the prostitutes are treated.  It also has the worst acting, dialogue and creature effects.  The full sized monster suit actually doesn’t look half bad but everything else is very cheaply done.

I’m not sure what else to say except I don’t understand the beginning with one of the characters dreaming (maybe?) of getting drugged and having her throat slit.  I don’t get how that ties in.  Also, there are a few incredibly annoying characters that last almost the entire run so that was grating.

I dunno, it’s a creature slasher picture that’s not fantastic with an unpleasant concept at its core.