Mish Mash 16 (Clean and Sober, Silverado, Hot Dog...The Movie, Maria Full of Grace)

Clean and Sober

Michael Keaton (Batman, White Noise) plays a coke and booze addict who admits himself to rehab to hide out from the cops, who are suspicious of him after they find an overdosed woman in his bed, and the company he works for, who he embezzled a lot of money from.  The thing is he ends up kicking his drug habit in the process.  So his plan actually backfires.

It’s a solid dramedy with Keaton playing the balance between psychotic drug fiend, remorseful optimist and straight up asshole very nicely.  The movie takes his character in a weird direction though because he becomes obsessed with a woman he meets in rehab.  She’s not really into him but he keeps nagging her until she finally relents but regrets it immediately.  Keaton puts his entire life on hold to forcibly keep her off drugs.  Sobriety is working for him and demands others see the light.  He becomes such a creep that I didn’t care for this guy very much by the end.  This may have been on purpose though because (Spoiler) there’s a tragic end to the story which flies in the face of the good deed Keaton thinks he’s doing.

Silverado

Super screenwriter Lawrence Kasdan’s (Raiders of the Lost Ark, Empire Strikes Back, The Bodyguard) action adventure western picture is kinda not great.  My hopes were high because you have a master of the genre getting to not only write but also direct on a grand scale his version of the type of film he had created with George Lucas and Steven Spielberg for years.  They’re larger than life escapades that could only exist on the big screen filled with characters that are heroic and remarkable yet completely affable and humorous.

Silverado has too many characters and mini stories that don’t really come together.  It tries so damn hard to bring you the kind of action that makes you smile and even laugh but it falls flat.  As I’m writing this I’m struggling to think of what the hell happened plot wise and who some of the characters were.

Hot Dog…The Movie

Just like North Shore and a zillion others this is another movie about a kid who has to find out how good he really is at [insert sport here].  This time it’s skiing.  There’s all that same shit about the kid’s idol turning out to be a douchebag, befriending an older kindred spirit who teaches him the ropes, falling in love with a girl, etc.

However, unlike North Shore the kid in this one has a supernatural ability for skiing right out of the gate.  He doesn’t fall on his face and then train hard to reach a higher level of skill.  Instead he keeps getting screwed over by the judges who give the world renown star skier a better score no matter what.  That’s kinda dumb ‘cause then our protagonist doesn’t have anything to work towards.  Instead his goal becomes learning to not cheat on his girlfriend.

But that’s in line with the type of frat house picture they made here.  There’s plenty of partying, including our main group of skiers who have a drink in their hands at almost every moment, pranks, sex and all around childish shenanigans.  As a result the filmmakers make skiing look pretty stupid and informal like it’s not much different than doing a keg stand or playing beer pong.  The hip kids do it, you’re wasted most of the time and it’s easy enough that you can still compete on a national level.

This is a silly outlandish movie for sure, and I can enjoy that sort of thing (which I mostly did), except there’s one scene that’s really bad.  Our protagonist takes his new girlfriend out to a bar where they’re having a wet t-shirt competition.  At least one woman is dragged onto the stage against her will in front of dozens of drunk horny dipshits and some of the guys grab at the women and it’s simply awful.  The worst thing is the scene is played like it’s all innocent fun with beer spraying everywhere and rock music blasting.  Everyone’s having a ball with these half naked ladies being ogled and groped by a lot of dudes.  The rest of the film is definitely not perfect but this particular part is fairly appalling.

Maria Full of Grace

Holy shit what an incredible movie about a teenager named Maria (Catalina Sandino Moreno (Che, A Most Violent Year)) who becomes a drug mule smuggling over sixty pieces of heroin in her stomach from Columbia to the US.  If one bursts in transit she’ll die, if not all are accounted for on the other end she’ll die, if she mentions this to anyone she’ll die.  It’s sort of a risky thing to take on.

Maria turns to this extreme shit because her life isn’t ideal.  She has a miserable job at a flower factory de-thorning roses and her boss treats her like garbage.  She says she’s sick and has to go to the bathroom but the piece of crap doesn’t let her go so she throws up on her roses.  Of course he then makes her clean them up and reuse them as if nothing had happened.

Maria is also pregnant with her boyfriend’s kid but this guy doesn’t really love her.  He takes her for granted so she dumps the prick.  Maria’s family gives her shit all the time too.  They don’t seem to band together very well with constant bickering over money and responsibilities.  They’re barely scraping by so there’s a lot of tension between everyone.

Seeing the journey this character makes from her shitty teenage life to drug runner is told beautifully.  And by “beautifully” I mean sad as hell.  She doesn’t have many options in the small town outside of Bogota where she lives.  The flower factory is the biggest gig there so that’s generally where you’re gonna find work.  Moving heroin becomes very tempting because it’s a helluva lot more money than what you could make in that stinkin’ factory.

I love Maria because she’s got so much fuckin’ courage.  She says fuck the flower job when her boss shows no concern for her well being, fuck the boyfriend when she knows he can’t take care of his own shit let alone a child, fuck poverty when the drug mule offer comes up and there’s one more thing she says fuck this to but it’ll spoil shit.  She’s such a strong woman that doesn’t take shit lying down.  She knows she can have a better life and goes down this crazy path to find it.  You gotta check this one out.