The Music Man

Harold Hill (Robert Preston (The Last Starfighter)) is a con artist salesman that targets a small Iowan town as his next score.  Actually he’s sorta forced into this particular location because he was traveling on a train with legit merchant peddlers and they want to wring his neck for ruining their business.  So Hill high tails it to River City and immediately stirs up controversy by demonizing the newly installed pool table.  It causes nothing but trouble he says.  With that seed planted in folks minds he insists that a boys marching band is the solution to getting back on the pure and righteous track.  Naturally (almost) everyone goes for it and they order instruments and uniforms from Hill.  He also claims he can teach the kids how to play the instruments and will lead the band.

So the scheme comprises of Hill making money off the sales of the instruments and uniforms and then skipping town leaving the swindled public behind with empty pockets, right?  Wrong.  Shockingly Hill actually delivers on the brass and band outfits!  What he doesn’t deliver on is the supposed knowledge that he knows how to play the damn things and conduct a band.  I guess the assumption is no one will ever learn how to play the instruments and therefore never get to proudly display their uniforms so it’s like these people just pissed their money down the drain?  Is that what makes this whole idea devilishly conniving?  Is it just me or is this a totally bizarre plan?

This kinda needs to be broken down a little bit.  First of all Hill makes genuine sales.  He takes the orders, gets the money, gives the people their shit and takes his cut.  Sure the way the sonuvabitch pitches his wares is pretty slimy by either insisting everyone is a natural musician or getting them intensely excited at the prospect of being involved with the marching band.  But this isn’t any different from a lot of salesman.  They pick an angle and exploit it or flatter you do death.  Hey, they’re trying to move their merchandise.

Second, just because Hill doesn’t know shit about music doesn’t mean the people can’t learn how to play from someone else.  In fact the love interest, Marian (Shirley Jones (Two Rode Together)), is a librarian.  Oh, and a music teacher.  Almost forgot where I was going with that.  Anyway, why can’t she teach and conduct the band?

And third, even if some folks are out a couple of bucks that doesn’t appear to be a problem.  We’re never lead to believe that the townspeople are dead ass broke and that they can’t afford food or clothing and then get scammed into spending what little they do have on musical instruments.  Everyone seems to be doing ok.  Go ahead, splurge a bit.

As far as I can tell Hill doesn’t really do anything illegal.  Broken promises?  Yea.  I dunno.

Eventually we learn that Hill’s true gift to the community is he brings excitement and happiness (albeit accidentally) to an otherwise drab existence.  I mean before the possibility of having a marching band the most thrilling thing the town had was that brand new pool table.  But they condemn it out of the gate so really all they have to pin their enjoyment on now is the band.

The plot is weird but it’s a very pretty movie to look at with a wonderfully lavish production.  There are plenty of bright vibrant colors used and a multitude of grand shots during the big music scenes.  Robert Preston is excellent in the lead with his quick smooth delivery and confident buoyant choreography.  And Shirley Jones holds her own as a brassy dame on the outside that tends to quiver beneath the surface more and more as she falls for Hill.

One thing I have to say though is there are too many music numbers.  This film is two and a half hours long and it’s bloated to all hell with song after song.  Some even get repeated more than once.  I swear not two minutes go by and then someone starts belting out yet another piece.  The movie was based on a play and maybe it works better in that medium but for a picture some cuts desperately needed to be made.  And what’s odd is the story doesn’t feel fleshed out enough.  Certain plot elements could’ve been reinforced and made clearer while, at the same time, other parts could’ve been streamlined.

The music in The Music Man definitely takes priority over the story, go figure.  And if you’re into the tunes like “76 Trombones” and “Till There Was You” (yes Beatlemaniacs that “Till There Was You” which originates here (well, the ’57 play…you get what I’m saying)) you’ll probably forgive any missteps or yell at your screen that some asshole on the interweb has no idea what he’s talking about (you’re not wrong by the way).  I guess what I’m trying to say is I wish the plot made more sense and there was a better balance between dialogue and song scenes.

Look it pains me to say this because a friend of mine adores this film but I don’t think this is great.  There are very nice moments (the three biggest numbers (“76 Trombones”, “Marian the Librarian” and “Shipoopi”) are a lot of fun) but overall I found it a little tedious.  And it was hard for me to get on board with the con Hill hatches because the angle is so strange.  Harry, after you get the sap’s money DON’T use some of it to hold up your end of the deal and buy actual instruments.  Pocket the dough and slip out of town when no one’s looking.  Now that’s how you scam someone buddy.