Color of Night

This fucking movie makes no fucking sense whatsoever.

Psychologist Bruce Willis goes to visit best friend Scott Bakula (does anyone else find his last name funny? (Lord of Illusions, Quantum Leap)) in L.A. because Willis needs some time off after one of his patients threw herself out of a window right in front of him.  Bakula is also a psychologist and thinks that someone from his group therapy sessions wants to kill him.  His suspicion is confirmed when he gets stabbed 38 fucking times.  Willis decides to hang around, take over the group therapy and possibly find out who the killer is.

This film is notoriously bad.  If you’ve heard of it then you’ve probably also been told that it’s fucking atrocious.  And sure, it’s bad-ish.  But the main reason is the plot and not really the other obvious components like acting, dialogue, cinematography, editing, soundtrack, etc.  However before we get into the nonsensical bits let’s look at those other pieces. 

Bruce is Bruce.  What can I say?  He doesn’t give a fuck most of the movie acting all cool and suave and then every half hour or so he’ll show some anger, shock, pain, passion, what have you.  It’s hard to tell if he’s just not that into it or if he’s trying to be dramatic.  Whatever, I love him.  Bruce is the fuckin’ man.  Few people can pull off such an unenthusiastic performance and still be engaging and fun to watch.

Jane March (Tarzan and the Lost City, Clash of the Titans (2010)) is the female lead and she actually does a pretty good job especially considering this was only her second feature.  She has to go through different emotions and states and handles it well.  Sometimes she can be a little too perky or cutesy though.  And I was surprised to find out afterwards that she’s English.  A pet peeve of mine is when an actor puts on an accent and can’t go more than one line before breaking it.  If the guy or gal can’t do the accent then they shouldn’t put it on.  It’s really distracting and brings me out of the film.  So I give kudos to March because at no time did I hear her accent slip.  And you know, it’s one of those funny things that after it’s been pointed out to you it seems so obvious.  So now that I know I bet if I saw the picture again I would be able to hear the accent.  Anyway March isn’t the reason why this movie doesn’t make sense.

Everyone else in this piece is fine acting wise too.  The people in the therapy group are all really good in their roles and cast well (check the cameos section to see who they are).  Ruben Blades (Predator 2, Once Upon a Time in Mexico) is a standout as the cop assigned to the case.  He usually plays it pretty down and somewhat laid back but here he’s wild eyed, aggressive and as Bruce says in the film a “sinister piece of work”.  Blades seems to really enjoy letting loose in this role and that enjoyment transfers.

The picture is shot and edited fine for the most part.  There are a couple of times when the editing gets a little choppy but it’s not too often.  And there are a whole bunch of shots of reflections either in mirrors or glass windows and the first couple are cool but after a while it starts to look stupid and gimmicky.  The soundtrack is standard and fine except for the sex scene where it kicks into 90’s sexy thriller bliss with soaring strings and heavy drums.

Spoilers.  However, if you’re planning on seeing this picture only for the sex scene then keep reading.

Ok, so none of that stuff is really a problem.  It’s not outstanding but passable.  Here’s what totally doesn’t make sense.  There’s this character in the group therapy named Ritchie who’s really obviously Jane March dressed to look like a teenage boy.  We find out towards the end of the film that Ritchie actually committed suicide four years ago.  Ritchie is March’s brother and they also have an older brother who is now forcing March to dress and act like Ritchie and suppress her real personality.  The reason why this brother did this is because he blamed himself for Ritchie’s death so now he’s…creating a fake Ritchie…so he can hang out with him and stuff?  I don’t get it.  I guess it would make the guy feel better if he saw this doppelganger walking around like he wasn’t dead?

Now that’s one thing, but there’s a bigger problem here.  The reason why the fake Ritchie is in this group therapy is because he got busted for something so it’s part of his sentencing.  But the real Ritchie is dead so how the fuck are the cops and the judge gonna miss that?  Also, the real Ritchie’s psychologist (and his wife) knew that this kid killed himself so other people must’ve known too.  It’s not like Ritchie died and nobody knew about it.  Or that Rose and her brother moved to a different state or part of the country.  So I completely don’t buy the whole March pretending to be her dead brother and nobody noticing thing.

The title is fucked too.  Bruce’s thing in this is that when he witnessed his patient’s suicide in the beginning of the movie he suddenly lost his ability to see the color red.  But it doesn’t play into the plot at all.  It’s brought up a few times but I thought there was going to be a situation at the end where Bruce needed to see the color red for some reason in order to stop the bad guy.  Nope, doesn’t happen.  And what the fuck does the color of the night have to do with red?  I would guess that would be black.

Oh and check out Bruce’s outfit in this one part.  It’s totally the same thing he wore in Pulp Fiction.  I thought at first that he must’ve been filming it at the same time but then I realized that he has a different haircut in each picture.  Still, Bruce is wearing the same fucking thing.

It’s just a lazy fuckin’ film man.  Bruce doesn’t seem upset about his friend’s murder or very concerned with trying to find the killer.  I forgot that’s what was supposed to be happening most of the time.  It’s not devoid of thrills though like there’s a car chase that’s just ok and the ending has the villain shoot a nail gun with un-fucking-believable accuracy.  And the house that Bruce stays in (actually Bakula’s house but since he’s dead he won’t mind) is straight 90’s sexy thriller with a very cold and modern (for the 90’s) feel. 

The movie is fairly enjoyably bad but could’ve possibly been a masterpiece if it wasn’t so long.  The running time on this motherfucker is two hours and fifteen minutes.  This thing should’ve been tightened up as the story unfolds at a snail’s pace.

I don’t think this one’s bad enough that you’re in awe and it’s certainly not good enough that you can sit back and enjoy it as a regular murder mystery.  It’s in a weird gray area that’s not gonna please very many people.  I guess that means it’s only good for one viewing but that’s what you’re gonna do anyway, right?  So see it.  Whatever.

Sex Scenes: One.  Ok, I know this is what you were all waiting for.  I bet you thought I forgot or wasn’t going to mention it.  Well here’s the deal.  There may be only one sex scene but it’s a doozie.  Bruce and Jane go at it in the pool, in the bedroom and then in the shower over the course of four fucking minutes.  That’s incredibly long for a sex scene.  Some may argue that it’s really more like three scenes compiled together but there’s virtually no interruption.  Even in the short break that’s there we see March naked.  The whole thing is pretty graphic too so it’s kind of amazing that this only got an R rating.  I mean you see Bruce’s penis for a second and we even hear him orgasm.  This scene is what propelled Color of Night into the top twenty most rented movies in 1995.  Is it worth watching the movie for?  It depends on how much something like that means to you.  Maxim called it the best sex scene in film history.  With that kind of claim I personally wouldn’t be able to contain my curiosity.

After Sex Scene: Half.  After that ridiculous sex scene there’s a brief part where Bruce wakes up with the sheets barely covering his wang.  It’s real short (the scene that is) so that’s why I made it a half.

Strange Cameos: The cast for the group therapy is great and it includes Lance Henriksen (The Terminator, Aliens), Brad Dourif (Alien: Resurrection, Child’s Plays), Lesley Ann Warren (The Limey, Victor Victoria) and Kevin J. O’Connor (Virtuosity, Deep Rising).  They all give very good performances especially Lance.  He totally fuckin’ nails the tortured and disheartened character.

Eriq “smooth as a motherfucker” La Salle (ER, Coming to America) plays one of the investigating officers.  Unfortunately he has very little screen time.

Andrew Lowery is Rose’s evil brother and he was in Buffy the Vampire Slayer and played the boyfriend in My Boyfriend’s Back.