Stalked by My Doctor: Just What the Doctor Ordered

At this point Beck is a downright supervillain because no cage can hold him.  He escapes the mental hospital during a fire he possibly started and finally gets the hell out of the southwest opting to flee to the Atlanta area.  While holed up in a gigantic Victorian style mansion a new family moves in so he’s gotta figure something else out.  But before he leaves he sees that it’s a mother and teenage daughter who’ve taken up residence and he does his usual creepy ogling and fantasizing.  The daughter, Alex (Grace Patterson), has an undiagnosed heart condition so when she passes out one night alone Beck anonymously calls an ambulance saving her life.  Later at the hospital he sneaks in to hear Alex needs a nurse at home to take care of her while she waits for a heart transplant donor.  Miraculously once again, Beck stumbles across an in.  While posing as the new nurse he searches for his own unwitting donor so he can give Alex a new heart.

What’s really interesting about this one is the core story involving Alex and her heart is strong enough that it could be a separate movie all by itself.  You see Alex has a rare blood type so the chances of her finding a donor in time are reduced greatly giving the situation a dire kick in the pants.  There’s tons of drama and tension between Alex and her mother trying to navigate this shit plus Alex’s father died from the same condition so it’s like they’re living that nightmare all over again.  I don’t know if this exact scenario has been done before but someone should get on it.  There’s a real good film idea in here.  But then the silly part is they throw a monkey wrench into the works with Beck and his insane bullshit.

And of course so much shit simply falls into Beck’s lap like that a teenage girl moves into the house he happens to be hiding in, she has a heart condition so he knows how to take care of her, the nurse that the hospital hooks the mom up with is a single woman living alone with a gender neutral name (Chris McCoy) so Beck can easily steal her identity, there’s an abandoned hospital at the edge of town that Beck can use for his lair and jeez Louise.  This fuckin’ guy’s luck is off the goddamn charts!

Overall this sequel is one of the better ones not only due to the respectable surrounding plot but also because it’s a scary notion when you find out the person you hired to take care of your loved one in your own home turns out to be a murdering pedophile.  It’s like a twist on The Hand that Rocks the Cradle.  So it’s a more believable story than say the last sequel while giving the right amount of goofiness we’ve come to expect.  For example Beck kidnaps a dude to remove his heart to give to Alex but he escapes and immediately gets run over by a semi.  Perfect.

Stalked by My Doctor: A Sleepwalker's Nightmare

Beck is still at large spending his days working at a greasy diner bussing tables somewhere in the southwest.  An opportunity presents itself one day when he notices an esteemed sleep psychiatrist sitting at a table.  He ambushes him in his car (with a syringe naturally), finds out the guy’s on his way to start a new job in New Mexico, has no family, no social media presence and applied for the job by phone.  To boil it down, no one knows what this fucker looks like and no familial relationships means Beck can impersonate him no problem.  Amazing luck!

The first new patient Beck sees, Michelle (Emilie Ullerup), has an issue of being sexually active while sleepwalking but since she’s in her mid-thirties, i.e. too old for Beck, he isn’t terribly interested.  And she has a bonkers backstory involving her husband killing someone and trying to pin it on her.  When she laid this intensely emotional shit out I was stunned.  Later I learned that this movie is actually a cross over sequel to Stalked by My Doctor and another Lifetime thriller called Sleepwalking in Suburbia.  Ok, her story checks out then.

Michelle’s teenage niece, Katie (Angeline Appel), is staying with her because she also has a sleepwalking disorder during which she does anything someone tells her to do.  This is Beck’s next target.  He uses Katie as a sleepwalking Manchurian candidate to do his bidding and to make her fall in love with him, but only while she’s asleep.

Wow, kinda nuts concept for this installment.  It’s by far the most interesting of the sequels due to the distinctive setup and Beck’s continued spiral into developing multiple personas that he talks to (his Hawaiian shirt wearing, Mai Tai swishing conscience is back for more).  He gets his hands dirtier than ever before by upping his body count in a grisly manner.  But like all the other films it doesn’t take long for someone to notice he acts pretty damn odd and figures out he’s a sinister asshole within days or even moments of encountering him.

I did want to point out the mental hospital (for the criminally insane!) sets used here because they’re straight out of a horror movie.  Dim lighting, grimy ass cells, filthy conditions, outdated equipment, deviant guards, the whole nine yards.  It’s so out of place with not only this picture but the series.  Weird choice especially when they’ve depicted hospitals completely normally in the other ones.

Another strange thing is when Michelle opens her eyes to start sleepwalking they use a *shing* audio cue like oh shit! a killer has awakened.  She’s not the villain though.  Nor does she physically harm anyone in her sleepwalking state so I don’t understand that choice at all.

This has more satisfying thrills than the other sequels.  I mean it’s fuckin’ totally ridiculous that borders on horror just a hair a few times but hey, that’s not necessarily a knock.  Eric Roberts’ continued enthusiasm in the role along with enough unique elements make for a fun time.

Stalked by My Doctor: Patient's Revenge

Sonuvabitch, they open up the film with some yadda yadda bullshit about how Dr. Al Beck was acquitted of all charges from the events of the previous installments.  Turns out the kidnapping, torture, assault, stealing of a corpse, attempted murder, actual murder (I guess no one found the body since it was dissolved in acid), attempted rape, fleeing the scene of a crime, evading the police, it was a misunderstanding.  Who knew?  And forget that he was in prison at the end of the last film.  Whatever, he’s now a college professor in Arizona teaching cardiology.  Meanwhile Sophie from the first movie decides to enact revenge by confronting Beck head on at the school.  She puts up flyers denouncing him as a pervert and getting over a thousand students to sign a petition to have him removed.  Of course Sophie’s not wrong in her accusations because we were all there with her to witness the crimes Beck committed.  But Beck’s boss and one student in particular, Melissa (Anna Marie Dobbins), come to his defense.  Sophie orchestrates a series of attacks while Beck and Melissa’s relationship become more intense.

This sequel is certainly more entertaining than the last one but it’s also way dumber.  Here are a couple of examples.  To show Sophie’s turned dark and ruthless they give her bangs, dark eye shadow, dark lipstick, she sports a black leather jacket, Doc Martens and scowls a helluva lot.  Her car’s black too.  Beck’s been a maniac from the get go but his psychosis gets worse with each film.  In this one he sees and talks to a version of himself, his conscience I think, dressed in Hawaiian shirts sipping tropical cocktails.  Different shirt, different drink each time.  And at one point he fantasizes about doing a full on song and dance routine with Melissa that’s an homage/rip off of La La Land.  Definitely the worst and most jarring section of the whole series to date.

As far as the fun crazy stuff goes they got that too.  Like Beck spikes Sophie’s food with fentanyl so she becomes very sick and he just so happens to be there to save her life in front of the entire school.  Now he can hold it over her that he’s saved her life twice.  What a fuckin’ dirty play!  Melissa devises a plot to murder Sophie and it takes very little convincing to get Beck on board.  I find it amusing that Beck’s weapon of choice is a syringe filled with some sort of toxin (we never find out what).  Whatever situation he walks into he doesn’t consider any other type of defense.

Additionally, Sophie’s grand scheme is comically overly complicated but that’s part and parcel to this type of thriller.  It also becomes painfully obvious about a third of the way through what the twist ending will be but don’t worry I’ll keep it a secret in case you decide to dive into this universe.

Stalked by My Doctor: The Return

Unfortunately the sequel is nowhere near as entertaining as it’s predecessor.  Sure Eric Roberts is still fun as Beck and he even pulls some real bastard moves like making his new teenage target think her boyfriend gave her genital herpes so she’ll break up with him.  Oh and there’s the attempted rape too.  But while the first film could squeak by as a real Hollywood type movie this one has a more low budget made for TV production feel.

Honestly, it's kinda boring.  Albert Beck, now going by Victor Slauson, is still hiding out in Mexico trying to pick up broads by feeding them a pack of lies.  No success so far.  An opportunity presents itself though when he saves an American teenage girl (Claire Blackwelder) from drowning at the beach.  He follows her and her mother back to San Diego and smooches up to them to infiltrate their lives.  Beck has learned from his mistakes so he plays the long game by planning to marry the mother so he can really move in on the daughter.  In other words, we got Lolita.

In real life it’s scarier for a stranger to pretend to be a reserved normal guy when he’s a psychopath underneath but in this case I would’ve preferred Beck go the other way and act crazier and more desperate in attempting to land a victim.  We don’t get great lines like “thank you for that enlightened analysis…you fat ass bitch!” or grossly sensually applying ointment to a surgery scar here.  However, there’s a part where Beck goes to inject someone with a syringe full of cartoonish neon blue liquid and later when he disposes of a body he produces two huge containers out of nowhere labeled “hydrochloric acid” so that’s something.

While this isn’t that terrible really it doesn’t have quite the same eccentricities or, magic is taking it too far, enjoyable silliness (?) of the first.

Stalked by My Doctor

Two high school teens get in a car wreck due to texting while driving.  The girl, Sophie (Brianna Joy Chomer), is in rough shape and needs surgery on her heart while the boy, Ryan (Carson Boatman), only has a broken leg.  Doctor Albert Beck (Eric Roberts (Grey’s Anatomy)) swoops in to save Sophie’s life while also staring at her awkwardly during the procedure.  Post surgery he sneaks into Sophie’s room and kisses her on the mouth while he’s sedated.  He starts following her, “running into her” at the mall and fantasizing about having sex with her.

Perhaps the most surprising aspect is how normal everyone reacts to Beck’s insane behavior.  It only takes one “chance” encounter at the food court for Sophie to be creeped out and the mother picks up on the guy’s off conduct almost immediately.  The only character who gives Beck the benefit of the doubt for a while is Sophie’s father which also makes sense in the bullshit “oh it’s just guys being guys” defense.  Even Beck’s dates don’t succumb to his grossness who after one encounter cut it off right away.  I’m very impressed with how grounded the characters’ actions feel.

Naturally the real reason to check this film out is to witness Eric Roberts do his thang.  He’s perfect as a disgusting dude trying to hook up with a girl young enough to be his granddaughter potentially and all the strained uncomfortable moments that come with that territory.  Beck can flash a smile at you and seem amiable at first but talk to him for more than two minutes and it becomes obvious that façade is paper thin.  Roberts can turn on a dime into a crazy person and his freakouts are very amusing.  One time he tosses garbage around while yelling “I’m a doctor!” exhausting himself until he collapses into tears.  Another time he buys Sophie a doll as a peace offering and knows she likes them because he broke into her room, saw the dolls, sniffed the whole place (ulgh) and covered himself in her pillows and blankets (ulgh!).  Anyway, she refuses the doll without thinking twice so Beck goes into the bathroom and attempts to tear the thing apart in a rage.  What’s fantastic is the stupid doll is made too well and after clawing at it and stomping on it he can’t make a single dent.  Incredible how that scene was supposed to go versus reality.  Love it.

Years ago this type of picture was a perfectly viable mainstream theatrical release but now (and by that I mean 2015 when it came out) it’s a made for TV movie that gets shat out by Lifetime.  This one’s competently executed though, give or take Roberts’ performance, and doesn’t feel phoned in.  Of course there are limitations due to what I’m sure was a tiny budget (most of which assumingly went to Roberts) but they make shit work.  There are plenty of locations used, very little effects work, totally fine performances, decent cinematography, alright editing, etc.  It’s definitely unintentionally funny at points but that’s also the charm of this one.  It shares good company with the likes of The Stepfathers and The Dentists.

What’s amazing is Lifetime had a hit on their hands so they did what any self-respecting movie producer would, they made a shit load of sequels.  All starring Eric Roberts.  Nice.

The Devil Wears Prada and The Devil's Advocate

The Devil Wears Prada and The Devil’s Advocate started as a fun little double feature.  I thought they would be similar in terms of character, themes and message.  However, it was surprising to find out they’re more or less opposites. 

The Devil Wears Prada stars two women, the main character is not the actual devil, Miranda (Meryl Streep (The River Wild)) is a nasty berating boss who loads up Andy (Anne Hathaway (Serenity (2019))) with countless tasks (some of which are downright impossible to accomplish), Miranda doesn’t give a shit about Andy’s personal life, Andy eventually comes to the realization that she needs to get back to who she originally was to avoid turning into a cutthroat business woman, etc.

The Devil’s Advocate stars two men, the main character is unambiguously the devil, John (Al Pacino (Gigli)) lavishes Kevin (Keanu Reeves (Toy Story 4)) with a large paycheck and anything his heart desires to come work for him, John is very involved in Kevin’s personal life (to the point where he tries to interfere with their marriage), Kevin eventually comes to the realization that he needs to change who he’s been his whole life in order to save his soul, etc.

Pretty interesting.  The Devil’s Advocate is definitely more my cup of tea with all the nefarious behavior, slimy players and a nice thick eerie vibe.  You would think the filmmakers would’ve gone for a more subtle approach with the supernatural shit. You know, leave it up to the jury to decide if the head of a powerful NYC law firm is Satan or not.  But no, they are unequivocal about it.  The finale with Reeves and Pacino duking it out verbally over whether Reeves will partner with the devil is fantastic.  Temptation, philosophy, head games, passionate performances, it’s fucking awesome.  I love this movie.  So if you’re only gonna check out one of these this is it.  They’re completely different pictures though so take that for what you will.

And aside from some dumb movie bullshit Prada does have a decent overall message of saying it’s ok to take on a job you don’t really want to use as a stepping stone to propel you towards a larger career goal.  This is something that many, if not most, folks end up doing in their life and I don’t think you see this done in a straightforward manner very much in film.  Usually it’s all or nothing affairs with more ruthless behavior.  While this picture has it’s share of whimsy and at least one stupid fan theory that I’m pretty sure I don’t agree with (Anne Hathaway’s boyfriend is the real villain of the story?  Sorry, not buying it) it’s, uh, ok.

Resurrection (1999)

You know almost immediately the type of picture you’re watching when this guy starts up.  The rainy weather, two cops called to a murder, the victim is mutilated horribly, clues carved into his body, a crime scene meticulously staged, Christian leanings behind the killing, the moody lighting and yea, we got Se7en.

It amazes me to this day how many imitators that film left in its wake because I genuinely didn’t notice at the time.  It’s only through retrospect that the influence punches you in the face.  And Resurrection is the most blatant knock off I’ve come across yet.  That’s not to say it’s a bad movie necessarily.  You know what?  Let’s rattle off some good points.

Luckily the investigation into the religious murders is the main thrust of the running time.  One clue does lead to the next with occasional epiphanies from our main detective, Prudhomme (Christopher Lambert (Hail, Caesar!)).  Shit escalates with each homicide and the goal the killer is working towards is on the nastier side.  He’s harvesting human limbs, a head and torso to stitch together a new body of Jesus (that’s a badass idea man, has no one else done this?).  The victims are also the names of apostles including matching professions (one was a tax collector so an IRS agent is offed, etc.).  The Christian connections are a bit more thought out than you would think.

Truth be told the real reason I checked this picture out is because Russell Mulcahy directed and his films not only look very nice but he tends to make some wackier decisions (see Ricochet for a prime example and my personal favorite of his).  Mulcahy does what he can with what must’ve been a fairly limited budget.  Most scenes, especially the standing-around-talking ones, either use dynamic camera movements or editing to keep you interested.  In general Mulcahy keeps focus on driving the plot forward, throws in some light curveballs to spice things up and tries to make it as visually appealing as possible by using a ton of different locations and an overall gritty production design.  There’s an energy to the film where you can tell everyone’s real excited to be working on it and that rubs off.

Additionally, Mulcahy wasn’t afraid to push the envelope in terms of disturbing shit.  Take this one victim who’s posed sitting on a toilet headless and naked in a filthy fucking underground rat hole.  It’s just a surreal image.  They also show a newborn baby being dangled by his legs over the side of a building and Prudhomme’s young son being run over by a car.  Usually the horrified reaction of our main character is enough to convey the moment but they take one extra step by actually presenting a child starting to get sucked under the wheels of a moving vehicle before mercifully cutting away.  I mean, fuck.

Despite all the positives (previous paragraph being debatable) there are a number of negatives.  The production does have a cheap-ish feel.  For instance the lighting is sorta all over the map.  Unfortunately the version I streamed on Tubi wasn’t the cleanest copy so I don’t know how many of the color timing issues are a result of that.  Sometimes it looks good like in the botanical gardens scene where we get some warmer reddish hues, at others it’s so damn dark it’s hard to make out what’s on screen and still in other instances shots can look flat and neutral like a 90’s made for TV movie.  Frantic editing during some of the action sequences doesn’t help either.  Plus they use this warbly quasi fish eye lens technique and terrible sped up shots that were popular at the time.  Those parts haven’t aged well.  So there’s some gimmicky shit, the score is generic, Christopher Lambert is passable but not a top leading man, there are a few establishing shots of Chicago but most of the locations they use are clearly somewhere else (Toronto), etc.  The sum of this stuff can weigh the film down but honestly in the end it's fine as long as you understand what you’re walking into.

What’s really egregious though is simply how much this picture straight up lifts from Se7en.  Like, it’s the same exact movie at times.  This is where I was going to rattle off a bunch of examples but it doesn’t pay.  I already pointed out a few above so I’ll leave it at that.

So is this one worth seeing?  If you’re a fan of the Se7en sub-genre then of course.  While it’s not as interesting as Fallen or feardotcom it might be a more solid experience.  It’s definitely competently made and adequately stylish to be totally enjoyable.  They deliver on the fucked up multi-membered Christ on the cross that the entire thing was building towards so kudos.  Like I said, the script is surprisingly strong considering this was a DTV release in the US (it was released theatrically overseas).  They even got horror maestro David Cronenberg for a small two-scene part as a priest.  (By the way his cameos are fucking random as hell.  He must do them as a favor otherwise I don’t get how he decided to say yes to Extreme Measures, To Die For, The Stupids, Jason X, this and a smattering of others.  I know he never leaves Canada but a million movies are filmed there every year.  I dunno.)

One last thing, I found it amusing that they felt the need to explain Lambert’s French accent by saying he’s from New Orleans.  It always confounded and charmed me when movie studios did this with Van Damme back in the day (or still?!) by saying he was French Canadian or Cajun.  Like they thought it was either some significant loophole in the story that needed explanation or a foreign accent was going to be maddeningly distracting to the point where it had to be addressed.  But I never gave a shit about the guy’s accent.  Can he kick ass and make you believe in the shit he’s fighting for?  That’s what matters to me.