Mortal Kombat (2021)

The new Mortal Kombat movie is surprisingly confusing.  It starts off in 1600’s Japan with the guy who would eventually become Sub-Zero (Joe Taslim (The Raid: Redemption)) invading the home of the guy who would eventually become Scorpion (Hiroyuki Sanada (Ringu)).  We’re thrown into this situation where guards and baddies are being picked off left and right and one dude can form icicles out of his hand and another guy’s body disappears in flames and we don’t know why they’re fighting and it’s supposed to be very emotional and this doesn’t look too much like the video game and I don’t know what’s going on.

Skip to modern day where washed up MMA fighter Cole Young (Lewis Tan (Deadpool 2)) scrapes by on $200 matches he never wins.  Jax (Mehcad Brooks (Glory Road)) pays a visit because they both share a dragon shaped marking on their bodies.  We find out this means they’ve been chosen to fight in a mystical otherworldly competition for the fate of Earthrealm (Earth) and must travel to Raiden’s (Tadanobu Asano (Thors)) temple to train.  Now we’re getting into more familiar territory.  I can follow this part.

But what’s really kinda weird about this film is (and spoiler) there’s no tournament.  Instead villain Shang Tsung (Chin Han (2012)) decides to cheat and kill off his opponents before the official bouts.  Not a cool move.  So I get the filmmakers wanted to do their own thing instead of replicating the 1995 picture which followed a classic kumite structure but ditching the tournament altogether definitely comes off as a sequel idea.  I kept waiting for the contest to formally start and was disappointed when that never happened.

Another strange mix up is creating an original character for the lead.  I thought maybe Cole Young was from one of the later games because I didn’t recognize him (I’ve only played the first two entries) but read afterward he was made up just for this movie.  Why?  You’re telling me there isn’t a character from any of the games that could be a suitable main hero?  Why not give it to Sonya (Jessica McNamee (The Meg))?  The only change you would need is to have her be less knowledgeable about the tourney from the get go so she can learn with the audience about what’s happening.

It’s not only Cole Young that’s an issue though.  All the characters are pretty bland except for Sonya who’s alright and Kano (Josh Lawson (Bombshell)) who steals the show.  Literally every one of his lines is a smarmy joke and normally that would get real fuckin’ old real fuckin’ fast but I didn’t mind it here.  I think because most of the stuff he says I actually found funny.  This was probably one of those situations where he had a smaller role initially but then the filmmakers realized they had struck gold and gave him more lines during production.

Can we touch on the special powers for a minute?  Each fighter has some sort of unique ability and the movie attempts to explain this by saying every contender has it in them already and they need to unlock it through pain/will/aggression, something like that.  The powers are ridiculously random though like throwing fireballs, a magic hat that can act as a deadly frisbee or sawblade, a laser eye and there’s a human sized lizard that can spit acid and turn invisible.  Anything goes.  Yes, these are the characters from the games.  I know.  It’s just silly that they felt like they needed to give some reason for their abilities like it’s a metaphor for tapping into one’s inner strength/confidence.

Ok, let’s move on to the fighting.  While a lot of it is fairly choppy in the editing, overall it’s fine.  Nothing really crazy or impressive to marvel at but solid martial arts mixed with fantasy elements like teleporting or forming an ice sword in mid combat or summoning a gargantuan fire dragon to…set someone on fire.  It’s the video game inspired maneuvers that make these scenes stand out and one of the coolest moments in the whole piece (which was in the trailer so you’ve seen it already) is when Sub-Zero freezes Scorpion’s blood that’s shooting out of his body to form an instant ice spike to stab him with.

From that last statement you can probably guess they don’t shy away from the gore either.  Although, they wait until towards the end to amp it way up.  You got shit like folks getting sawed in half vertically, intestines spilling out and heads getting crushed.  The filmmakers stayed faithful to the source material in this area so I have to at least give them credit for that.

However, the catchphrases like “flawless victory”, “Kano wins” and the infamous “get over here!” all feel extremely shoehorned in.  Like they sound sorta stupid in the context of everything else in the movie which is mostly serious.  It’s more like what a little kid would say rather than something truly badass.

Unfortunately the dialogue and acting in general is not very good.  Lots of tropes you’ve heard before and delivered flatly.

Even though this review came out pretty damn negative this isn’t a horrible picture.  Some of the fights and Kano are enjoyable enough.  Everything else is either forgettable (the characters) or doesn’t exactly seem Mortal Kombat-y (the opening, the plot).  And there’s unnecessary confusion sprinkled throughout concerning special abilities and how they work, the fact that they constantly talk about this incredibly important fate-of-humanity-hangs-in-the-balance tournament yet they never actually deliver on it, etc.

Look, the 1995 version is a dumb fuckin’ movie but there’s a charm in how campy it is and it feels more like the video game come to life.  I can appreciate they went in a different direction this time but there were a bunch of questionable choices made.  I’m not sure if I’ll end up revisiting this.

Father Hood

Strap in ‘cause this one’s gonna get weird.  Tone, the circumstances during filming and the possible inspiration for the plot are all questionable decisions.

Let’s start with the last part first.  Jack Charles (Patrick Swayze (Dirty Dancing)) is a small time thief who’s about to take down the biggest score of his life.  His wife died leaving him with two kids, eighteen year old Kelly (Sabrina Lloyd (Sliders)) and ten year old Eddie (Brian Bonsall (Blank Check)).  He stuck them in foster care though because they cramp his style.  Kelly escapes and goes to Jack for help telling him the kids at the center are being beaten and sexually abused.  Jack isn’t interested at first but when he looks into her accusations he sees that they’re true.  He breaks Eddie out and now the three of them are on the run from the cops.  The bulk of the film is a road adventure from LA to New Orleans with Jack and co. dodging trouble at every turn.

Now according to IMDb some of these events (or maybe just one) were based on a guy named Mike Hardy who was a con that also kidnapped his daughter from foster care and he’s listed as a technical consultant on the film.  And this shit seems to line up because I found an LA Times article from 1990 about a Mike Hardy who was being charged for murdering his wife and it mentions the kidnapping incident.  He rammed into a van and held folks at gun point while in the movie Jack Charles pulls over a school bus and shoves a gun in people’s faces.  When Hardy was convicted a second article talks about Nicholas Pileggi testifying in the case. Pileggi produced Father Hood (and Goodfellas).  Fuckin’ out there, right?

OK, let’s talk about the tone.  It’s erratic as a sonuvabitch.  A lot of what the movie deals with like child abuse, child abandonment, child endangerment, juvenile centers being run like prisons, sexual abuse, trauma, etc. are pretty heavy topics.  And the picture is mostly shot and edited in a serious manner.  What I can’t fucking understand are the music choices.  They smack a rockabilly Stray Cats sorta thing on there every once in a while and it instantly makes the scenes ridiculously silly.  Either the filmmakers hedged their bet and hoped to appeal to a broader audience by lightening up the mood or they had no goddamn clue what they were doing.

The relationship Jack has with his kids is supposed to be humorous at times as well but I don’t find that to be nearly as big of a problem as the soundtrack.  Jack is a larger than life figure, Elvis wannabe, wears gaudy silk shirts with ugly ass designs, gold rimmed sunglasses, rings, sports a 50’s greaser hairdo, drives a 70’s Cadillac, you know exactly who this guy is.  He’s too cool for school so I can see the comedy in pairing him with kids aged eighteen and ten who argue and call him out on his bullshit.

This is a movie so odd matchups can be charming.  In real life though Jack would be a total piece of shit who pawned his kids off on the system long ago.  This is another tonal issue.  Jack lets it be known he’s not into his children, even yelling at them that he’s not their father (untrue), yet he never fails to rescue them from danger or put his own life at risk to save them.  I know humans are complicated but bouncing back and forth the opposite ends of the spectrum of love and hate wears on you.  It feels more like he learns to love his kids because the film needs him to rather than the progression happening naturally.

And the corny as shit courtroom speech at the end (without a doubt the worst part of the film) about how his children were ripped from his arms and he only wanted the best for them and you gotta be a responsible parent rings utterly hollow.  The head of the juvenile center protests “the man kidnaped his children, doesn’t that mean anything to anyone here?!”  Earlier in the movie this guy is shown to be a scumbag of the highest order but he’s not wrong right there!  The whole proceeding then devolves into a farce with arguments flying up and down unrelated to the current trial, death threats and assault.  No real judge would ever allow this crap.  At least there’s some correction of events with Jack getting fifteen months.

So we have a disreputable anti-hero guy, intense themes being vaguely explored, a terrible choogling slap bass soundtrack and a clash of personalities for comic relief.  What else does this need?  You guessed it, ACTION!  This crew goes on several car chases, a speedboat chase, commits attempted armed robbery and Jack jumps from the hood of a fuckin’ truck onto a fuckin’ boat being towed by a fuckin’ trailer.  Somehow, amazingly, these parts are done really well.  It’s crystal clear, has satisfying hits and is nicely choreographed.  And this is where I’m conflicted.  The more adventure-y aspects of this thing are kinda great because there’s a drive to them.  Jack needs to be in New Orleans by a certain day and has to keep moving if he’s gonna make his mark.  Ducking the police along the way adds to the sense of danger and urgency.

Another highlight are the performances.  Sabrina Lloyd is definitely the best.  She’s acting her ass off trying to convince Jack that foster is a hell hole and demands a better life for her and her brother.  She’s tough as nails and is careful to not let her guard down because she’s had a real rough upbringing and been through a lot of shit.  Lloyd gives the character some breathing room too like she gets a little giddy when Jack asks her to take over driving for a while so he can sleep.  She’s never driven before and with a smile exclaims “this is cool!”

Patrick Swayze is fun too and he looks like he’s having an awesome time but then I read he was hitting rock bottom with his alcoholism during the shoot.  Makes me view his performance a bit differently.  I mean he still brings joy to the movie but it’s really sad to know he wasn’t in a good place.  He checked into rehab the same year this film came out so he finally got the help he needed (until his relapse ten years later).

This was written by Scott Spencer (Endless Love) who’s more of a novelist.  It’s difficult to tell his original intent but I wanna say he meant for this to be taken seriously and the studio then tried to fill it with jokes and a boogie woogie soundtrack.  Who knows?

South African director Darrell Roodt (Sarafina!) got the call and as far as the actual shooting and performances go he does a fine job.  On certain technical levels it’s totally competent.  Like Spencer I’m not sure how much of the messy end result is his fault.  Disney made the movie (through Hollywood Pictures) so that makes me think they did some enormous meddling to shave the hard edges off.  Of course that raises the question of why they would greenlight the film in the first place considering the subject matter and their brand.

Jeez guys, I was all set to say maybe check this one out if sudden tonal changes don’t bother you but I dunno if I can do that anymore.  The really weighty shit like a pregnant teen being torn away from the woman who raised her and being dragged back to foster is heart wrenching.  But then Swayze’s kinda funny with his cocksure performance.  And then there’s that speedboat helicopter chase that’s really neat.  It needs to pick a lane badly.

The more I found out about this movie the creepier I felt about liking it even a little.  Between apparently basing the lead character on a shady crook (and later convicted murderer), knowing about Swayze’s alcohol addiction during filming and the bizarre choices in tone puts a damper on the enjoyment.  I mean how does this shit sound to you?  Do you wanna hang out with a hood who’s also a father and watch him grow into the idea of fatherhood while the rest of the picture comments on how fucked up a whole bunch of kids are treated both in foster care and by their parents?  It’s a lot.  It’s too much for a movie pushing a somewhat family friendly spin on a story about a criminal with a heart of gold who falls in love with his abandoned kids during a road trip (crime spree). 

Dragonslayer

This one’s refreshingly straightforward with just enough nuttiness for a thoroughly enjoyable watch.  What’s it called?  Dragonslayer.  What’s it about?  A group of medieval villagers recruit a wizard to murder a motherfuckin’ dragon.  Bam.  Right to the point.

What’s kinda interesting is the story around the task at hand.  For instance the dragon is holding the town hostage.  Unless she (you bet your boots it’s a strong independent woman dragon) gets her human female virgin sacrifice once every five years she’ll burn the place down.  Oh and the dragon’s name is Vermithrax Pejorative.  Wow, cool.  Although I had to look it up, I don’t remember anyone actually saying it in the movie but whatever.

Another odd tidbit is there’s this one local virgin named Valerian (Caitlin Clarke (Blown Away)) who pretends to be a boy to get out of the death lottery.  She knows her days are still numbered though, plus she’s had enough of this bullshit, so she spearheads the plan for help.  Problem is the sorcerer (Ralph Richardson (Tales from the Crypt (1972))) gets killed before he sets out on the journey (sorta complicated to explain) leaving his apprentice, Galen (Peter MacNicol (Heat (1986))), to take the job.

At first Galen seems personality-less but he grew on me.  What’s different about this character is despite his youth and inexperience he’s actually very brave.  He never backs down from a fight and doesn’t think twice about hunting down the dragon.  Ok, he displays some mild arrogance here and there.  But at the same time he’s devoid of macho man bluster that was incredibly popular at the time.  In appearance he’s basically the opposite of Conan the Barbarian, short and lanky with soft features.  I think that’s ultimately what makes him appealing though.  He’s a seemingly average dude that’s definitely in over his head but he wants to help these people and admirably sees his task through.  Well, he’s also in love with Valerian but his heroism doesn’t come off as showboating either.

While the story could’ve been adjusted a bit (the finale is unfortunately anticlimactic) and there are several superfluous characters the main draw is that dragon and the showdown with Galen.  Leading up to this we only catch brief glimpses of the creature’s claws, tail, back of the head, fire breath and her swooping by in the sky quickly.  It’s the usual mix of building suspense, keeping you hungry for more, smart filmmaking and trying to keep the budget down.

When Galen’s ready to duke it out mano a draco he gets ahold of a super sharp spear from the local blacksmith and a shield made of dragon scales woven by Valerian.  The shield idea is particularly clever because if a monster can breath fire then wouldn’t its outer skin be somewhat flameproof to help protect itself?

Anyway, there’s some silly business outside the beast’s lair with Galen having to first fend off the film’s human antagonist (John Hallam (The Wicker Man)).  This asshole is absolutely unnecessary.  Not only does he want Galen to fail in his mission but he wants to actively kill him just because.  There’s no real reason.

So once we’re through with that dipshit we go deep inside the ominously lit rocky cave where Galen encounters dragon babies.  They’re nasty demons that look like grotesque mutated bats the size of a large dog.  They’re gnawing on a virgin sacrifice with one biting her foot clean off (did I mention this is rated PG?).  This sequence reminds me a little of the rodents of unusual size part of The Princess Bride.  The movie may have come out after Dragonslayer but the book was released well before.

After all that fooling around Galen finally makes his way into a colossal cavern with a lake…that’s on fire!  Vermithrax sneaks up out of the water from behind and we get our big reveal and holy fucking shit this thing is fuckin’ awesome looking!  It was such a dramatic build up to this confrontation and it delivers in spades.  A bunch of filmmakers (nerds) have said this is their favorite dragon on film and you know what?  I agree.  It has the perfect shape with a sharp snout, beady eyes, a serpent neck, horns, spikes, pointed wings, razor talons, etc.  Alright fine, that sounds like every dragon ever.  I’m not doing this thing justice.  Look up pictures.

And the ensuing bout is badass as hell.  Galen uses the shield to protect himself against massive streams of fire and tries his best to get stabs in whenever he can.  They figured out how to not make the fight feel completely one sided like the dragon should obliterate him in a second.  Galen works with what he’s got and gives the bitch a run for her money.

Now of course this achievement is largely due to the phenomenal effects.  The good folks at ILM put forth an amazing bonanza of practical gags.  They use every trick in the book including new ones for the time like go motion, an offshoot of stop motion that attempts to incorporate motion blur making the movement seem more realistic.  They were also using this technique in The Empire Strikes Back and ET.  And at least in Dragonslayer it does look better than stop motion.

One minus is Vermithrax doesn’t look so hot while flying which appears jerky, stiff and sorta blurry.  Part of the reason why the finale falls flat is an overreliance on having the dragon fly.  And I totally get it on paper that it sounds tremendous but it doesn’t look nearly as nice as when she’s slithering around in her cave.

This is your typical boys adventure film that was made immensely popular by folks like Lucas and Spielberg from the 70’s to the 90’s.  And that makes sense since collaborator Matthew Robbins wrote this (with his buddy Hal Barwood) and directed.  He also wrote The Sugarland Express, did some additional writing on Close Encounters of the Third Kind and even the THX short.  His biggest claim to fame directing wise is probably *batteries not included which was produced by Spielberg.

While it’s got its fair share of issues the positives are real strong.  Aside from the kick ass effects the production design (Elliott Scott (Indian Jones, Roger Rabbit)) and score (Alex North who apparently recycled his unused music from 2001) are also top notch.  The characters aren’t the strongest but they’re likeable and the story throws in a few curious details to keep your interest.  It’s worth checking out for that lady dragon alone.

Seabiscuit

Just wanna do a real quick recommend here.  But first I feel like I should give some background.  One of my guilty pleasures is horse racing.  Like boxing I know it’s kinda fucked up and probably shouldn’t exist anymore because of the horror stories you hear about how the animals are treated sometimes.  But goddamn is it captivating.  To be clear it’s not the gambling aspect (although that does enhance the experience) but the amazing ability of these creatures to fly around a dirt path at 40 mph.  My usual once a year trip to the track got thwarted by, well you know, so this film will have to do.  But it more than satiates that itch.  This is a fucking winner.

Seabiscuit tells the true story of not only the emblematic horse but also his owner, trainer and jockey.  They all came from completely different worlds and were at unhappy times in their lives when a horse brought them together.  Owner Charles Howard (Jeff Bridges (Cutter's Way)) recently lost his young son and that leads to him and his wife splitting up.  Trainer Tom Smith (Chris Cooper (Money Train)) is a horse whisperer and drifter who happens to notice Seabiscuit’s potential and successfully whips him into shape.  Jockey John “Red” Pollard (Tobey Maguire (Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas)) was essentially abandoned by his parents when he was a teen forcing him to fend for himself and fell into horse racing.  He’s also blind in one eye, large for a jockey and has a massive chip on his shoulder for the raw deal life handed him.  And even though Seabiscuit was bred to be a competitive pony he showed little promise early on and was more or less given up on.

Everything from the spectacular cinematography to the heartfelt acting to the wonderful production design to the inspiring story, it’s one helluva ride.  I can’t stress enough how beautiful the relationships are and how exciting the races are captured.  Sure the closeup shots of Maguire speeding along the track with a bobbing piece of fur in front of him aren’t the most convincing but that’s a minor gripe when the film nails every other facet.

And Seabiscuit is an actual character here.  He isn’t a background object or prop being used to help tell other people’s narratives.  On the opposite end the filmmakers smartly didn’t anthropomorphize him too much either.  He’s got personality but they don’t fuckin’ pretend he can understand what the hell humans are saying.  And I dig that he’s not a cutesy wuvable whittle horse.  He’s legitimately cool with a what-tha-fuck-are-you-lookin’-at-motherfucker attitude paralleling Red Pollard’s.

I’m pretty sure this is the only exclusively horse racing movie I’ve seen (Beverly Hills Cop 2, Tin Men, The Killing all have scenes at a track).  There are a surprising number that have been made over the years considering it’s such a niche activity (including The Story of Seabiscuit from 1949 starring Shirley Temple).  It’s hard to imagine one being better than this though.  It’s got everything you could ask for.  I gotta believe it ranks up there in oddball sports films as well.  There’s The Hustler/The Color of Money (pool), Cool Runnings (bobsled racing), Rounders (poker), Chariots of Fire (running) and the wackiest of them all Over the Top (arm wrestling).  Some are entertainingly bad but this one’s the real deal.

So do yourself a favor and check this guy out.  If horse racing isn’t your thing that’s fine because it’s about the characters.  They found themselves in a magical moment where their combined fortitude was the perfect recipe for astonishing success.  When times were real tough (the great depression) they got through it by mending each other’s spirits on and off the track.

Happy 10th Anniversary!

Holy shit, 10 years already!  Well that’s time for ya.  Always tickin’ into the future or whatever.

But seriously, this has been fun and a nice outlet to think through what’s going on with some of these movies.  It’s been especially interesting and rewarding to make the trek through a series to see how the films evolve over the years and how different styles affect the end product.

And unless it’s part of a sequence I tend to shy away from talking about movies that are just ok because that generally isn’t exciting to write or read about.  I try to bring some sort of enthusiasm to these reviews whether the trigger is great, appalling or weird.

Hopefully I’ve gotten better at this thing (but can’t be positive) and I’ll continue to strive for…maybe excellence is aiming a bit too high…pretty goodness.

Thanks to you folks who’ve stopped by.  A few may have even clicked here on purpose!  I hope you’re doing alright and pushing through these messed up times.  Stay badass.  See you in a little bit.

The Animatrix

The Animatrix is a collection of nine shorts that further expands the world and mythology of the Matrix universe.  It was released in 2003 along with Reloaded and Revolutions, takes place at various points in the timeline and involves a few established characters but primarily brand new ones.  The Wachowskis produced and wrote some of the films but directed none.  This is of note because they retained full control over the three main pictures so to see someone else’s take on the material yields gnarly results.

Before I get into the mini reviews I wanna make a brief blanket statement on the nine.  First of all the animation is absolutely stunning.  Some have the traditional anime look, some have a more charcoal sketchbook kinda thing going on, they’re all a little different and amazing to view.  I believe they each have some sort of CGI augmentation, you know like how Disney started to incorporate into their animated features particularly with layering and backgrounds in the late 80’s and 90’s.  The voice acting is top notch.  A couple of folks reprised their roles from the films like Keanu Reeves and Carrie-Ann Moss.  The sound design in general is really neat with plenty to absorb, particularly in Matriculated.  So these are expertly executed pieces with a lot of attention to detail.

(The order of the shorts could be different depending on where and how you saw them (The Matrix website, as a collection in theaters, on DVD, etc.  Final Flight of the Osiris was screened with Reloaded and Dreamcatcher apparently).  Anyway, this is the sequence I caught them)

 

1. The Second Renaissance Part I and II.  These are the two most important of the bunch.  They chronicle the entire backstory of The Matrix including man’s fraught relationship with artificial intelligence machines, their falling out, the machines erection of their own city, the war and the creation of the Matrix itself.

This is a fucking brutally recounted story.  The overall tone is depressing as shit with humans and robots treating each other horribly, hellbent on mercilessly obliterating one another.  And on top of that it’s graphic with face smashing, limb ripping and even android executions that’ll make you squirm.  I guess that’s a testament to how effectively the artists brought the story to life.

If you’re super into The Matrix then this is required reading to get a better understanding of how shit began.  Seeing this makes the movies a lot heavier (that sorta goes for all of these actually).  I mean it’s the same exact backstory as The Terminator but hey, stealing from the best ain’t so bad.

Also, the machine city, 01 (Zero-One), is located in the middle east somewhere so technically the entire Matrix trilogy takes place there.

 

2. Program.  Two humans, Cis and Duo, are sparring inside a training program set to feudal Japan times.  After a few mins of swiping at each other Duo tells Cis that he’s decided to get reinserted into the Matrix and he wants her to join him.  She can’t believe this and turns down the offer.  Duo won’t take no for an answer though and realizes he must kill her so she won’t tattle.  The catch is Duo’s blocked the signal so no one can see what they’re doing on the outside trapping Cis.  Now the fight is life and death for real.

Such a cool simple idea that fits nicely within the universe.  Sure it’s Cypher’s (Joe Pantoliano (Risky Business)) plan from the original picture but this is stylized to the extreme and so awesome looking.  The Japanese aesthetic is gorgeous with the ornate costumes, fancy weapon moves, high flying action and powerful dramatic tension.  It’s seriously badass.

This one’s my favorite short.  The Second Renaissance is good knowledge-wise for filling in everything pre-Matrix but Program is pure fun.

 

3. Kid’s Story.  A high school teen realizes something’s not quite right with the world and agents catch on to him.  He races through his school on skateboard to make a daring escape.

According to the internet this is supposed to be the same Kid from Reloaded and Revolutions that pesters Neo all the time about wanting to join the Nebuchadnezzar crew and he eventually jumps into one of those machine gun wielding robot suits to help save the citizens of Zion.  Yea, I know we really needed his backstory.  It’s just ok.

 

4. World Record.  An Olympic runner attempts to break the short distance record but ends up going so fast he wakes himself up from the Matrix.  The concept that someone can break free from the Matrix unaided is explored a few times in these films.  It’s sort of an interesting idea, especially this one that proposes a human being’s brain can work so fast or hard or whatever that the Matrix can’t keep up and they wake up for a moment totally confused and freaked out.  With this glimpse of the truth comes consequences though.  He doesn’t know what to believe anymore crippling him inside the computer generated world.

 

5. Beyond.  Yoko goes looking for her cat and stumbles across an abandoned building in the city.  Gravity, shadows and time all act funny.  In reality it’s a damaged part of the Matrix that’s glitching out.  I like this idea, it makes sense.  This is in the same vein as saying déjà vu is really the Matrix making a physical change to your surroundings.  It’s an effort to explain weird real world stuff.  In this case a broken piece of the Matrix is supposedly what paranormal phenomena is.

 

6. A Detective Story.  Film noir type deal where a gumshoe is hired to find the mysterious Trinity.  I want to like this one more but it’s just kinda there.  It’s not much of a surprise when Trinity is found and agents show up guns blazing.  This one doesn’t offer any new backstory or insight into the inner workings of the Matrix.  Nor does it mess around with how a unique concept would play out in this universe.  A bit of a bummer.

 

7. Matriculated.  A squad of human soldiers lures in a robot hunter to destroy it for the purpose of rebuilding and reprogramming it.  But when I say reprogramming I mean they try to convince the machine to turn rogue and fight for the humans.  They achieve this through a complicated process of plugging the robot into a special rehabilitation program along with five or six humans.  They run through several cycles of playfully tormenting the thing and then showing mercy.  That’s the best way I can describe it.  I don’t really know what the fuck they’re doing or how they think this recalibrates the coding.

If you do drugs though this is the guy to watch.  The second half is one trippy motherfucker that’s a stream of consciousness situation.  Shapes, rooms, objects and bright ass everchanging colors bleed into each other like a kaleidoscope on lots of very strong steroids.

While this was cool to see once I don’t know if I could do it again.  It’s not only the overwhelming zaniness of the ridiculous visuals but the movie also gets really sad towards the end.

 

8. Final Flight of the Osiris.  A fill in the gap story about how the humans discover the machines are digging into the earth to wage an attack on Zion.  Of all the shorts this feels the most like it’s a deleted scene from one of the main films, Reloaded to be specific.  Plus it’s the only one that’s completely CGI animated making it more in line with the look of the live action ones. 

It’s possible you could’ve seen this before Reloaded which wouldn’t have made any damn sense to you if it was your first time.  I think this is a weaker entry largely because it’s more information that isn’t crucial to understanding the events in the series.  The opening sword fight training program was done much better in Program and the battle with the flying tentacle machine creatures is the kind of stuff in the Matrix films I don’t care for all that much.  On the bright side the CGI animation hasn’t aged too badly.

So I would definitely recommend The Animatrix if you’re still hankering for more and/or want to take a deeper dive into the universe.  It’s a nice companion piece that gets a lot of mileage out of a number of what-if scenarios.  It wouldn’t have been a satisfying sequel/prequel mashup if this were released instead of Reloaded and Revolutions so this addendum packaging of little stories is the perfect sidebar.

The Matrix Revolutions

This may go without saying but spoilers on here.

We’ve reached our final destination.  The saga of Neo and gang battling a crusade against the machines concludes here.  After four years and two movies we get to witness the blissful destruction of the evil Matrix.  OR NOT!  One of the weirdest things about this series is they don’t give the audience what they set up way back in the first film.  Playing with expectations is good but we’re basically back to square one by the time Revolutions ends.  What the frickin’ fuck?

This is a sci-fi war movie and generally I’m not a big fan of those.  There are exceptions for sure like Starship Troopers and the original Star Wars trilogy (special mention to the Terminator franchise that undeniably belongs in this category but found a way to mostly sidestep the actual war part) but due to my inherent disinterest I do not like this picture.  It’s pretty monotonous.

Unfortunately all the non-war stuff isn’t very exciting either.  Aside from the attack on Zion the other big showpiece is the Neo and Smith fight where they float around punching and kicking each other in the rain.  Similar to Reloaded the hand to hand combat seems fluffy even though these two ram each other into the ground and smash through buildings and shit.  Now I haven’t seen Man of Steel but this fight reminds me of that infamous ending where two supreme beings pulverize one another while causing catastrophic damage to the city around them.  It lands flat because they can’t really hurt each other and this bout has the same low stakes feel.

Then there are just time wasters.  The beginning where Neo is stuck in limbo and Morpheus and Trinity have to lean on the Merovingian to get him back ends up being completely pointless.  Nothing is gained or learned by going through this exercise.  Neo’s back to his shitty existence like at the end of Reloaded and no one died in the process.  It’s total padding to fit in another couple of action sequences and spout some more cryptic religious philosophy.

And as I mentioned earlier the ending isn’t all that satisfying.  Sure Smith is defeated but that wasn’t the original goal.  What happened to the plan of destroying the Matrix and freeing the human race from slavery?  Now the objective is to save the last human city left and execute a peace treaty with the machines.  I don’t know why the Wachowskis decided to change course along the way.  Maybe it has to do with the soul crushing post-apocalypse reality they created.  I remember hearing an argument once that life is better inside the Matrix because you can have a job and live relatively comfortably and experience how the world should still be.  I get that it’s a total fabrication but if it’s a hundred percent convincing and you don’t know any better then is it really worse than living underground in constant fear of machines coming to annihilate you at any moment?  Maybe the Wachowskis thought about it and were reminded of Morpheus declaring that most folks aren’t ready to be unplugged from the Matrix yet.  It would probably lead to mass suicide and there wouldn’t be enough resources left to sustain that large of a population.  It would be a death sentence to free everyone.

I dunno.  I’m not into this movie.  Revisiting the franchise was interesting though.  Ambitions were set sky high from the start but I would’ve preferred keeping the story more intimate like the first picture.  Shit got too big and lofty to where I stopped caring by the time it was over.  With that said they’re definitely a cooler spectacle than I gave them credit for twenty years back.  The Matrix is sorta perfect, Reloaded has more fun moments than I remember and Revolutions is still a weak finish that gets crushed under its own grandeur.

So yes, I do recommend taking the journey.  Unplug your mind from the notion that action films are stupid meathead trash and witness what unlimited Hollywood bucks can do to creativity.  The results are fascinating and frustrating all at once.