Final Analysis

Part of the reason why I’m embarking on this sexy thriller adventure is because I wanted to check out some pictures that I hadn’t seen before.  And whenever you do that there's always a risk that the movie you’re watching doesn’t quite fit what you’re looking for.  I saw De Palma’s Body Double and it turned out to not really be a sexy thriller but more of a regular thriller so I decided not to talk about it.  The next film I checked out was Final Analysis and I wouldn’t classify it as an all out sexy thriller either but it definitely fits into that category better than Body Double so I’ll go with it.

Isaac Barr (Richard Gere (Primal Fear, Dr T and the Women)) is a psychiatrist that’s treating Diana (Uma Thurman (Kill Bills)).  Diana recommends that he speak with her sister, Heather (Kim Basinger (The Real McCoy, Batman (1989))) to get a better idea of their family history.  Despite Heather being married Isaac falls in love with her and they continue to see each other.  But Heather’s husband Jimmy ain’t no pushover, he’s Eric fucking Roberts (Best of the Best 2).  Trust me when I tell you that I’m not spoiling anything by saying that Roberts gets murdered and that leads to all the twists and turns in the plot.  Even though the plot I just described sounds like a Double Indemnity remake it’s not.  But there are some nods to it.

I’m not a Richard Gere fan really but I don’t mind him.  I’m secure enough to admit that he’s a handsome man and I get why he plays irresistible dudes in many of his films.  I like his laid back style of acting because I feel like I’m in good hands unlike William Hurt’s relaxed style that makes him look like he’s bumbling his way through a movie.  Gere has enough confidence that he pulls off roles like doctors or lawyers real well.  I could see him being either in real life because he’s compassionate but he can also get down to business when it’s necessary.  And for this movie Gere puts on a good show that makes you believe that he really cares about what’s going on.  He just seems like a real nice guy.  Now I haven’t seen a lot of Richard Gere films but I don’t think he’s ever played a bad guy or even just an asshole and this is no exception.  But if you guys know of one let me know ‘cause I think it would be interesting to see that side of him. 

As for the female lead, for most of this picture it’s classic Kim Basinger.  There’s a lot of whisper talking, trembling lips, eye shaking, uneasy confidence and wavy long blonde hair.  The slight southern accent is the only thing that’s not present.  As the film went her character got more interesting and her acting got better.  She has to deal with a lot of shit throughout the movie and Basinger pulls off this role nicely.  Heather is a complex character with a fucked up past, a fucked up present, an abusive husband, a fucked up sister and on top of all of this she has to deal with being on trial for murder.  Basinger makes it look easy to store up all of these emotions and trigger the right response to the right situation.  Again like with Richard Gere I haven’t seen a lot of Kim Basinger films but so far this is best I’ve seen her.  At the end she pulls off a pretty badass performance which has to be rare for her.     

Uma Thurman is also pretty good in this as the sister with seemingly just as many emotional and mental problems.  She pops up every once in a while to remind you that she’s still there and to help advance the plot.

But far and away the best thing about this movie is Eric Roberts as Jimmy.  When he brings his head up from underneath a towel that he’s drying his hair with it’s like, “Eric Roberts?  You’re in this?  Holy shit it’s great to see you man how is everything?”  It’s pretty weird because he plays just about the same exact role as he would in The Specialist a few years later.  He’s a Greek gangster that is very controlling of Heather.  He wants to know where she is at all times and abuses her sexually.  There’s a scene where he forces her to strip and give him a blowjob.  Well, we don’t actually see the blowjob part but it’s implied.  I know that we’re not supposed to like Jimmy but he’s so much fun to watch that I found myself rooting for him and got excited whenever he was in a scene.  Unfortunately just like in The Specialist he gets bumped off like half way through the picture.  But not before he has another scene that’s identical to one in The Specialist.  It’s where Isaac stares at Heather as he’s walking by and Jimmy goes after him to tell him not to do that.  In both scenes Roberts makes a gay joke and a threat to take out the guy’s eyes.  Gere plays it the same way that Stallone does and acts all nonchalant about the whole thing.  Both end with them just having a few words and no actual fighting.  But it’s a great scene with each guy trying to out-tough the other.

Eric Roberts notwithstanding, the filmmakers were going for a Hitchcock type thriller with the score, plot twists and unlikely protagonist.  But this is way more complicated than anything Hitchcock ever did, even Vertigo.  It’s not a terrible movie but at the same time I think having a ton of plot twists is kinda dumb.  There’s only so much out-smarting that I can take in one film.  And in the beginning it felt like I was watching two different movies simultaneously because the Richard Gere part with him falling in love with this woman that he just met had a totally different feel than the Eric Roberts treating his wife like shit part.  Roberts changes the dynamic so much whenever it cuts back to him that I wanted to abandon the Richard Gere story line and just follow whatever Roberts was doing.  And I enjoyed being played with like that because I thought this movie was going to be about one thing and then it turned into something else.  With that said (and I know this is going to sound contradictory) the plot was fairly predictable.  Once I got my footing and realized who was who and that Richard Gere and Eric Roberts were in the same movie together then it’s not hard to imagine where things are going to go.  It’s pretty meaty on the thriller but lean on the sexy so as far as taking this from a sexy thriller point of view it’s terribly lopsided.  But if you’re into poorly done neo-Hitchcock/noir-that’s-still-pretty-fun-to-watch you could certainly do worse.  Roberts will suck you in for the first half and then by the time he’s gone you’ll want to know how it ends so they lay a good trap for you.

One last thing, I noticed that this was produced by Paul Junger Witt and he produced hit TV shows like The Partidge Family, The Golden Girls and Blossom.  He also went on to produce Three Kings and Insomnia.  Pretty different kinds of material if you ask me.

Sex Scenes: One.  Gere and Basinger get it on and I love the way that they go into the scene.  They both agree that they can’t see each other, they say goodbye and then it immediately cuts to them having sex.  Nice editing work.

After Sex Scenes: One and it goes along with the only sex scene.

Strange Cameos: Does Eric Roberts count?  I fucking love him.  There’s one scene where he and Kim Basinger are having dinner in a fancy restaurant and the whole thing is shot almost entirely in close-ups so it’s a little uncomfortable to watch.  Towards the end shit suddenly gets outta hand.  Afterwards Roberts says to Basinger, “if you ever embarrass me like that again” *pause* “I’ll fucking kill you”.

Motherfuckin’ Keith David (They Live, The Thing (1982)) plays a detective.  Unfortunately he’s not in it a whole lot but his role is pretty important and he’s badass as always.  Jesus is he an intimidating man.

Body Heat

When most people think sexy thrillers they think of one of two movies: Basic Instinct or Body Heat.  Body Heat is going to be the oldest film that I’ll be talking about and it goes back to 1981.  This movie is the archetypical sexy thriller.  It’s got tons of sex and of course, people plotting some sort of scam.

What this movie boils down to is that it’s a loose remake of Double Indemnity.  But since it’s been a while since I’ve seen that film I won’t be making comparisons.  A lawyer, Ned Racine (William Hurt (A History of Violence, Dark City)), falls in love with Matty Walker (Kathleen Turner (The War of the Roses)) and they plot to kill her husband so they can get his money.  And I don’t think I’m spoiling anything by telling you that Matty is plotting against Ned as well.  So a simple murder gets complicated real quick as is what happens in most of these pictures.

The first thing you’ll probably notice is that this film is goddamn hot.  It takes place in Florida during a heat wave and everyone on screen is a bit lethargic and sweating profusely.  No one can seem to find an air conditioner or any place indoors to cool off.  There are fans and breezes blowing but it doesn’t do any good.  If you like your movies moist and dripping with sweat than you’ll love this.

The second thing you’ll notice is that there’s this fucking sultry sax music playing.  This has got to be one of the funniest ways that a saxophone is used.  I mean it can sound beautiful like in other non-sexy-thriller oriented jazz music but it seems like most of the time it’s used in a way that will give it the least amount of respect possible like “Yakety Sax” or some shit.  Remember the sax soundtrack from Lethal Weapon?  Well this is like its super smooth but at the same time down and dirty cousin.

William Hurt is a good choice for Ned even though I don’t care for him in general.  That awkward blank expression that he wears throughout the movie (and in every other picture he’s in) makes him seem like kind of an asshole.  The mustache puts it over the top though so you definitely know what kind of sleaze you’re dealing with.  You see the main characters aren’t likeable in this thing and that’s a sexy thriller staple but for some reason I always find myself invested in them.  Ned’s a slimy guy because he represents scumbag clients.  He also continues to try and pick up Matty even after she tells him that she’s married.  Oh and Ned hatches a plot to kill a dude.  I guess that’s kinda assholic.  But you know that Ned’s in over his head so I feel sorry for the guy to a certain extent.  Hurt manages to play this role pretty naturally I think.  That kind of acting can get confused with him just not giving much of a shit about this movie and in most cases you would be right but here it works to his advantage.  You get the sense that he’s hiding something by the way he constantly squints and smirks and that’s because he really is.  By the way is it just me or did he even seem a little scummy in Michael?  

This movie was Kathleen Turner’s film debut and she’s kind of a weird choice I think.  I never found her very attractive and in this picture she’s supposed to be irresistible.  Then again William Hurt is supposed to be some hot shot stud which I don’t get either.  Another reason why I think she’s not the best choice is that she doesn’t do a very good acting job in this (and to be honest the only thing I thought she was really good in was Serial Mom).  I can see an argument for her stiff delivery and forced emotions because she’s supposed to be putting on an act for Ned the whole time but I don’t buy it because we never see her any other way.  I think there are only two quick scenes of Matty without Ned and she only says one word in each.  Again, I’m not really sure if a distant performance is what the filmmakers were going for because it’s not the greatest thing to watch but at the same time Matty is a cold character.  She only wants sex and money and the sex is just a way to get to the money.  I dunno guys.

Lawrence Kasdan wrote and directed this thing.  He’s more of a writer though and will forever be known for penning The Empire Strikes Back, Return of the Jedi and Raiders of the Lost Ark.  Those are some serious credits man.  When he decided to try his hand at directing this is what he came up with first.  I thought this film was shot pretty well and I like the nods that Kasdan makes to the 40’s with everyone smoking all the time, the fedora that Matty gives to Ned, the jazz music and just the general lack of technology.  But overall I’m weary of Kasdan as a director because I remember Dreamcatcher being fucking terrible.  Still gonna check out Wyatt Earp though.

So this is sexy thriller 101 really.  It’s got rich Caucasian leads, the sexy sax music, a plot to murder a husband, sex, steamy dialogue and it takes itself very seriously.  If you’re new to the genre this is a great place to start.

Sex Scenes: Two and a half.  The half is a blowjob scene that gets started but is then interrupted by Matty’s eight year old niece.

After Sex Scenes: A whopping eight.  There’s a lot of Ned and Matty lying naked somewhere all sweaty after the fact.  There’s also a couple of Ned with other chicks and one with Matty and her husband.

Strange Cameos: Ted Danson (Becker) plays a lawyer friend of Ned’s.  I think Danson is supposed to be the comic relief but he isn’t funny at all.  They have him crack some unfunny jokes which is normal but they throw in some other shit like giving him a wacky habit of dancing by himself to no music and ordering two big glasses of iced tea several times.  Yeah I don’t get it either.

The late Richard Crenna plays Matty’s husband, Edmund, who action fans should definitely recognize as Rambo’s colonel.  He’s great and I love that they threw in some stuff to try and make you feel less sorry for his death because they have him be a ruthless businessman that doesn’t tolerate mistakes or people that don’t do “what’s necessary” to get the job done.  He also might be involved in some illegal shit but it’s left very ambiguous.  There’s one scene though that’s classic and it’s where Edmund and Ned are having dinner together and he tells Ned that if he found out that Matty was cheating on him then he would kill that guy with his bare hands.  Fucking badass man.

Mickey Rourke (The Wrestler, Nine ½ Weeks) is in this too and he plays an ex-con that knows all about bombs.  When he enters the picture it’s so refreshing because he brings so much life to an otherwise languid film.  The first time we see him he’s lip syncing to Bob Seger’s “Feel Like a Number” and all of a sudden it’s like we transported to a totally different movie.  Seeing Hurt and Rourke act together in a scene is like night and day.  It reminds you of how lazy Hurt plays it because you don’t notice with the just as laid back Turner.  It’s always a pleasure to see Mickey Rourke in anything.    

Let's Talk About Sex: The Sexy Thrillers Project

Fuckin’ absolutely.  Fuckin’ sexy thrillers man (also called erotic thrillers).  I think you guys know by now that I have a fascination with them and it might be because they’re a strange phenomenon in society.  I mean I don’t know if a lot of people really like them but just the fact that there’s a whole genre of mainstream film based on chicks and dudes getting it on in a soft core porn kinda way that’s not actually soft core porn is interesting.

I have a half thought out theory that they replaced film noir because there’s always some kind of scam or murder or some shit happening in these sexy thrillers.  When noir was phased out in about the sixties or so sexy thrillers came in to fill the gap.  I want to say Blow Up was the first one but that was not very sexy or thrilling.  The mindset of the late sixties allowed for greater penetration (if you will) into the real world when it came to cinema.  Then in the seventies it exploded.  But at the same time there wasn’t a whole lot of nudity.  Only the edgier films dealt with a lot of bare breasts ‘n shit.  The early eighties was where that thing blew up.  Fuck man, any one of those teen sex comedies from that era is every young boy’s dream.  But I mean a bunch of them are damn good films like The Last American Virgin, Fast Times at Ridgemont High and even Weird Science.

What I’m really trying to say is that there was a time when sexy thrillers was a viable genre (the 90’s) and now it doesn’t really exist.  On the surface they seem to serve only men but in these movies the woman is the dominating character.  She’s the one that controls the other characters and for the most part determines where the plot goes.  I wanna say that people got tired of rich white assholes humping each other and then betraying each other but we still have movies like The Twilight saga.  They’re sort of like teenaged sexy thrillers with a dash of horror.

So what I’m gonna do is talk about ten-ish movies of this forgotten era (could be a couple more or less depending on how long I want to keep this project going) and will post them in mostly chronological order (I know which one I'm saving for last and it's gonna fall out of order).  See you on the other side, maestro:

        

Amadeus

You know I was going to write a whole long piece about this one but since this movie is so well revered I realized that it would be kinda pointless to just be another asshole gushing about how good it is.  So to make this short and sweet here’s all I have to say: it’s extremely well acted, well shot, the production is gorgeous, the tension is ratcheted up throughout the picture and the music is kick ass.  If you’re going to take this thing on and witness one of the best films ever made keep in mind though that a lot of this didn’t actually happen in real life.  Mozart and Salieri did know each other but the whole jealousy and contempt thing is made up.  But Tom Hulce as Mozart is probably an accurate depiction of the man and of course he really did write tons and tons of music.  This film gets my highest recommendation and if you’re a fan of classical music and/or of the times of the enlightenment then this is a must see.

Man, this trailer makes the movie look so fucking badass.

Feed

Since I’ve seen most of Brett Leonard’s filmography anyway (see Virtuosity) I decided to check out this one.  It’s about an Australian cop, Phillip Jackson (Patrick Thompson), that specializes in finding people doing illegal shit on the internet.  One day he comes across a website that seems kinda suspicious.  It’s a sex site that showcases women that are enormously obese, like bed bound obese.  What Jackson finds suspicious about this exactly I don’t know, but he’s got a hunch so he digs deeper and sees that the guy running this site has put up more than the usual amount of security or obstacles or whatever it is that blocks people from hacking into your computer.  Jackson eventually goes to Toledo, OH to try and nab the guy despite his superior officer telling him to let it go.  He becomes a man on a mission to find out what’s going on with this creepy website.

There’s a lot of crap that can (and will) turn people off that’s in this picture.  It’s shot fairly poorly, the editing is atrocious with the filmmakers wanting to make full use of all of Avid’s bells and whistles, the dialogue can be really bad at times even though there are some cool lines in here like the superior officer telling Jackson that he knew he should have sent him home when he found him crying in the toilet, and most of the acting is pretty bad too except for the villain. 

Alex O’Loughlin plays the bad guy, Michael Carter, and he’s good in this.  He’s a crazy sadistic motherfucker that looks like Bruce Payne in Passenger 57 minus the accent.  His plan is to keep feeding and feeding this woman and to get her as big as possible.  He follows her progress by measuring her dimensions, weighing her and monitoring other things like her blood pressure and heart rate.  But the thing is that this woman isn’t being held against her will.  In fact it’s the opposite, she actually wants to get fatter and is very happy when she reaches a milestone of weighing over 600 pounds.

This movie reminded me of Se7en a lot because of the torturous behavior that Carter inflicts upon this woman.  It’s almost like a whole movie of just the gluttony part.  But unlike Kevin Spacey where he sees what he’s doing as a burdened duty to society Carter is really into his work and pleased with the results.  There’s even a part in this movie where there’s what looks like a shell of a person on a bed that suddenly comes to life like the sloth victim in Se7en.  The religious overtones are amped way up in Feed though.

And this brings me to a theory that I have about this film.  I think the whole thing is a commentary on America.  Americans in this movie are portrayed as food loving obese Jesus freaks.  Now this isn’t a false observation really but I didn’t expect to find it in a B version of a Se7en-like thriller.  Every American that Jackson comes across is devoutly Christian and also unwilling to help him.  Carter’s wife knows about what her husband does but doesn’t really care, Carter’s former priest doesn’t want to be involved either, and the woman that Carter feeds and puts up on the internet doesn’t want Jackson to save her.  Jackson isn’t a perfect Australian but the ending shows that America and its ways have changed him for the worse.  By the way the ending was pretty cool and definitely not something that I saw coming. 

Feed was kinda hard to watch to be honest but it wasn’t the filmmaking that bothered me so much.  There’s something about seeing a person being fed and fed when they’re already so large that they’re immobile that got to me.  It made me wonder why both the feeder and the feedee would want to make someone’s fragile situation even worse, why someone would want to slowly kill him/herself in that way.  There was even a part in the beginning of this movie that was kinda nasty where Jackson busts into the home of a guy that wants pieces of his body cut off and fed back to him.  I guess this food thing is different than watching someone get blown away by a shotgun or stabbed with a knife because these people are just eating.  It’s something that we do every day and it made me feel a little icky inside that some people have these extreme eating habits.

So I think this will be the last Brett Leonard movie that I’ll be seeing for a long while.  

Virtuosity

Remember when virtual reality was gonna be the wave of the future?  I’m pretty sure that didn’t happen ‘cause I’m not wearing an oversized 50 pound headset right now.  Ok I’ll admit that I did “VR” once way back in the 90’s and I don’t remember it being that much fun.  But for all I know cops really did use virtual reality to train their recruits…or prisoners.  And maybe they still do.

This one is definitely off most people’s radars and I can understand why if you just read the plot summery and see who’s in it but I’m going to try and persuade you guys otherwise.  We have Denzel Washington (Training Day and most of Tony Scott’s recent repertoire) as Parker Barnes and he’s an ex-cop in prison for merc-ing vigilante style the terrorist dude that kidnapped his wife and child.  Well, and he also killed an innocent news crew that was interviewing the guy.  In the process he lost one of his arms and got it replaced with a robotic one but it looks like a regular human arm so you forget that he has it.  For the most part the robot arm only comes up when it’s convenient for the film but I still like that they threw it in there.  Barnes is being used as a guinea pig by LETAC (Law Enforcement Technology Advancement Centre) to work out the bugs of a new cop training simulator.  The problem with this program is that it’s so realistic that if you die in VR then there’s a good chance that you’ll die in real life sorta like The Matrix.  By the way I love the frantic spiky explosive computer animation that alerts the operators that the brain is overloaded.  Anyway the guy that these prisoners face off against is the computer program personality SID 6.7 (Russell Crowe (L.A. Confidential, The Next Three Days)).  But through some bullshit sciencey type stuff SID is brought to the real world and now he’s running amok killing people ‘n shit.  The only man that can stop him is Barnes because he’s the only one that got close to killing him in VR.  Oh and Kelly Lynch (Roadhouse, White Man’s Burden) comes along for the ride for some reason.

This is Denzel’s second action picture (the first was Ricochet and it’s a pretty good one but John Lithgow is the reason why, he’s a meaner and more sadistic version of Qualen from Cliffhanger) but here he gets to do a lot of the fighting.  He’s kind of a middle of the road action star for me.  He’s not terrible but he’s not great either.  When he does hand to hand he looks like he has no idea what he’s doing and he’s just not that intimidating physically.  He’s a pretty man that can turn on the arrogance and be assholic in a heartbeat but he never really says anything cool.  In this movie there are two things about him that suit an action star though and the first is the confidence factor.  He knows that he can catch whatever scumbag he’s after and just needs to stay out of trouble long enough to get the job done.  I also like the flawed hero side of him.  His haunted past consists of his wife and child getting held hostage so he takes matters into his own hands.  I like that drive and tenacity that he puts into Barnes.  Denzel takes this seriously and of course that’s what I’m looking for.  Sure he cracks some jokes here and there but that’s to be expected in any action film.  When it comes time to take down SID he’s all business.

Russell Crowe on the other hand acts like more of a goofball.  I wish he would’ve played this more seriously like Denzel.  He’s the smug type of villain that’s interested in fashion and how pretty he looks.  The thing is that I know that Crowe can take things really seriously if he wants but he elected not to do so in this case.  He taunts Barnes and treats everyone like they’re inferior but does it with a tee-hee-hee laugh.  I mean if Crowe’s character is a computer program then why would he use humor?  How does a computer know what’s funny and what a pun is and what irony is ‘n shit?  Shouldn’t he be void of any wit?  That certainly doesn’t make any sense but if you’re willing to buy that part about a fucking computer program turning into a real life Russell Crowe then I guess this shouldn’t be that much of a stretch.  But SID does have some badass lines like he tells Barnes, “just because I’m carrying around the joy of killing your family inside me doesn’t mean we can’t be friends”.  So all in all, like Denzel, he’s not bad but not great.

Kelly Lynch plays Madison Carter, a criminal psychologist, and is allowed to partner up with Barnes because she can keep track of him.  Remember Barnes is a prisoner that they’re turning loose to find SID so they’re not sure if he’ll kill some innocent person.  But they also implant a tracker device in his head so they know where he is at all times.  Since they have this tracker it seems like letting Carter tag along isn’t really necessary.  In fact she doesn’t really do shit in this movie that helps Barnes out that much.  But she’s a sympathetic character that feels for him and the movie alludes that they’re in love with each other.  I think it’s interesting to note that Denzel is the only black guy in the entire cast.  I’m not sure if the filmmakers are saying something about interracial relationships or about race in America in general but the movie doesn’t feel like it has a message.  If it’s there then it wasn’t brought out enough.

But there are a couple of reasons why I like this movie a bunch and to begin with it feels big.  There are a whole host of things that give the illusion that this movie had a huge budget including the giant VR room, a car chase, several shootouts, Denzel Washington and a final fight on the roof of a skyscraper.  This movie goes all around L.A. too so the setting keeps changing.  They go to a techno club, an electronics store, a TV studio and an Ultimate Fighting Championship match.  Yeah, you read that last part right.  I guess UFC ponied up some money for this picture because there’s a whole scene devoted to it.  They give you a lot of bang for the budget they were dealing with.  This thing cost $30 million and for a summer movie that’s cheap.  Just to give a comparison, some other summer pictures released in 1995 and their budgets were Braveheart ($53 mil), Apollo 13 ($62 mil), Die Hard: With a Vengeance ($90 mil), Batman Forever ($100 mil) and Waterworld ($175 mil).     

Another reason why I like this movie is that there’s a prison fight scene.  The cinematography for that fight and way it was shot makes it a beautiful and standout part of the film.  Ironically there’s also a prison fight in Ricochet but John Lithgow is the one wearing phone books as armor and wielding a huge spear and not Denzel.

This movie is nice to look at too.  I already mentioned all the different setting locations but there’s also the sparkly bright blue blood that SID bleeds.  Sure it’s not as cool looking as red human blood but it’s a nice touch.  Also whenever SID gets shot up he can repair himself by using glass.  He just has to stick his blown off hand by some window and these veiny things will shoot out and form a brand new one.  Did I mention that there are a lot of bad 90’s computer effects all over this thing?

William Forsythe (Out for Justice, Stone Cold) is in this but unfortunately he doesn’t play a total maniac.  It’s remarkable that he can still be badass as shit even when he’s playing it down.  But Forsythe’s character is basically the same guy that he would play in The Rock a year later, mustache and all.  Also William Fichtner (Dark Knight, Heat) has a minor role here and it’s always nice when he pops up.  

Virtuosity does have its fair share of dumb things though like the techno music during the car chase and the recreation they did of the intro from Saturday Night Fever.  And there were some missed opportunities like SID is made up of all of these different killers like Ted Bundy and John Wayne Gacey ‘n shit and they even have him do a Manson style killing at this one house (off screen unfortunately, in fact he kills a lot of people off screen).  But they should have kept going with that theme.  I would’ve loved to have seen SID rob a bank like Jesse James (the bank robber not the Monster Garage guy) or pretend to be a prostitute and then shoot some poor john like Aileen Wournos (both really are listed as being part of SID’s make up).  I also would’ve liked to have seen SID fight someone in a UFC match as long as we’re tossing around ideas.

But there’s one really weird thing that I noticed when I went back to skim the movie for this piece and that’s that the whole idea of bringing SID into the real world was SID’s.  I thought the weasely programmer guy that created him came up with it.  How SID knew about this technology while the other guy didn’t and how he formulated this plan I have no idea.  But isn’t that fucking strange?  The programmer dude wants revenge because his superiors want to shut the VR cop training program down so SID tells him what he should do?  What’s really funny is that this guy actually goes through with the plan.  He thinks SID’s idea is a good one and implements it.  I dunno man.

Brett Leonard directed this and I was very surprised to find out that I have actually seen most of his filmography without knowing it.  I’m still not sure how I feel about that.  I’ve even seen his IMAX short T-Rex: Back to the Cretaceous and his crappy music video for the crappy Peter Gabriel song “Kiss That Frog”.  Looking back on what he’s done it’s not a very solid body of work but I do like that he’s into computer movies ‘cause I see that he did The Lawnmower Man.    

But I’m telling ya, from the absurd idea of growing a Russell Crowe computer program in a giant neon blue dinosaur egg while some R&B plays to the idea that virtual reality is so real that it’ll fry your brain if you die in the game makes this a movie definitely worth checking out.  If you’re into dated 90’s computer movies like The Net, Ghost in the Machine and The Lawnmower Man then this is right up your alley.

And did anyone else think that virtuosity was a made up word?  Well I looked it up and it means to play with great skill like a virtuoso.  I always thought they just blended the words “virtual” and “reality” together to make up a new one. 

Surviving the Game

I really think Surviving the Game is an underrated and, for the most part, unknown gem.  Just the concept of taking The Most Dangerous Game and 90’s-ing it up is brilliant.  I mean check out this fucking cast: Ice-T (Ricochet, New Jack City) as the man being hunted and Rutger Hauer (Blade Runner, Buffy the Vampire Slayer), Gary Busey (Under Siege, Predator 2), Charles S. Dutton (Alien 3, Menace II Society), John C. McGinley (Point Break, On Deadly Ground) and F. Murray Abraham (Amadeus, Scarface) as the hunters.  I hesitate to call this an all out action movie because the fight scenes are sparse but the constant tension and the characters (and the actors playing the characters) make up for it.  This movie was directed by Ernest Dickerson who did Juice right before this and written by Eric Bernt who wrote Virtuosity (which is also overlooked in my opinion) after this and is another movie about a guy hunting down another guy (well he’s not really human but whatever).

This clip is a monologue that Busey gives before they start the hunt and before Ice-T knows what’s really going on.  It’s one of Busey’s finest performances and I mean that sincerely.  You really believe that he had this fucking dog and was forced to face off with it.  The story itself is really great and badass enough but Busey gives it the attention and presentation that it deserves.