Strays

Recently I checked out Vin Diesel’s (A Man Apart) short, Multi-Facial, that he made back in the mid 90’s that he wrote, directed, produced AND starred in.  It’s a clever concept about an actor going on auditions in NYC but due to his ambiguous ethnicity he keeps getting rejected for not being quite right for any role (Diesel himself has said he’s unsure of his own heritage, partially stemming from never knowing his biological father).  Anyway, a good effort that shows promising acting and storytelling chops.  You should check it out.

What I do not recommend though is his follow up feature length debut Strays which came out a couple of years after.  Diesel takes on the same responsibilities of writing, directing, etc.  It’s the only time he’s done that on this scale (as of this Talkin’) so it’s his baby.  The story focuses on weed dealer Rick (Diesel) hangin’ in NYC going out to bars every night, boozin’, gettin’ high and havin’ tons of casual sex.  But he’s tired of this lifestyle and wants a real meaningful relationship.  One day he catches a glimpse of his neighbor down the street and decides to pursue her.  She’s a classy mild mannered mid-westerner (i.e. the opposite of who Rick normally sees) named Heather (Suzanne Lanza (The Night We Never Met)).  How will it go?

Well on their first meeting (like probably minutes in) Rick tells her to close her eyes and he starts to sing:

When a man's an empty kettle
He should be on his mettle
And yet I'm torn apart
Just because I'm presumin'
That I could be kind of human
If I only had a heart

Yea, fucking “If I Only Had a Heart” from The Wizard of Oz.  And he sings THE ENTIRE GODDAMN SONG!  He’s also gently caressing her hair during this by the way.  Heather goofily smiles at the conclusion and then Rick continues with their conversation as if that shit didn’t just happen (later Heather tells her friend it was wonderful *gag*).  This is one of the most awkward fucking things I’ve ever seen in a movie and I’m really not kidding.  It was a huge roll of the dice if that scene would work but holy shit, that sucker crashed and burned and took out several dozen innocent bystanders in the process.  I can’t stress enough how Weird this part is.  And of course Diesel and Lanza have no chemistry whatsoever adding yet another layer to this shit sandwich.

The movie has lots of problems but no other moment fails as hard as tough guy/baller/stud/drug dealer/hot headed Rick softly crooning a tune from The Wizard of Oz on the street to the girl he likes a lot.  Rick must’ve had this “ace” in his back pocket ready to go completely confident in its undeniable dazzling charm because otherwise I have no explanation for it.  And naturally this move does end up wooing the lady because hey, it’s Vin Diesel’s movie.

Interestingly when Rick and Heather have more of a real date the next night (dinner, etc.) they’re walking down the street and these two guys pass by and Rick thinks they’re giving his lady the eye so he starts in with them.  He turns on the macho bullshit promptly dishing out insults and dropping N bombs.  Heather is disgusted and immediately ditches his ass on the street corner.  Good for her.  Now, they eventually reconcile but in another scene later on she overhears Rick threatening to beat up a dude who owes him money.  Once again, Heather bolts instantly because this is a scary side to Rick that she doesn’t know how to deal with or want to tolerate.  So Diesel knew the right way to play out those scenes.  Too bad he didn’t have such good sense with the rest of the film.