Birth

Goddamn what a weird fuckin’ movie.  If you have any memory of this thing it’s probably either the wacky premise about a ten year old boy that claims to be the reincarnation of Nicole Kidman’s dead husband or the scene where the boy and Kidman share a bathtub together naked.  Ring any vague bells?

Everything feels off.  The story, cinematography, editing, acting, it’s like everyone involved was on pills.  Sometimes uppers but most of the time downers.  And then they drank a shitload of booze ‘cause they thought it would even them out using some horribly misguided logic.  The filmmakers stayed up all night and then decided to shoot their scenes for the day.  I can’t solidly prove any of this but it’s my best guess.

I mean look at Kidman’s (Batman Forever, Eyes Wide Shut) haircut.  That short choppy look is absolutely terrible.  The buttered toast (or whatever color that is) dye job throws me off too.  Who thought this was acceptable?

Sometimes the movie tries to get arty like the opening where it’s a long tracking shot of Kidman’s husband out for a run.  This goes on for several minutes with no credits, no dialogue, nothing happening at all until the shot finally cuts away to him keeling over and dying.  None of that was necessary.  We could’ve opened with Kidman at the cemetery visiting the grave but no, gotta show the guy running.  He was an avid runner.  Maybe.  I dunno ‘cause we never learn a single thing about the motherfucker and I mean not a single solitary thing.

These guys also throw in a full two minute uncut closeup of Kidman’s face as she’s trying to process if the boy could really be her deceased ex.  Even if you cut that in half it would still be a long ass time.  But the main problem with that shot is the entire film is about this woman grappling with the idea that a little boy could be her old hubby.  So why have something this distracting in here like its waving its arms in the air yelling yoo-hoo?

But man, some of the performances are one of the oddest aspects.  Kidman does distraught alright and I’ll give her credit for rambling nervously a few times when she’s so thrown by the situation that she doesn’t know what to say or how to say it.  She doesn’t get annoyed or freaked out quite enough in my opinion but she’s not really the issue.

Danny Huston (30 Days of Night, Stan & Ollie) as Kidman’s fiancé plays it pretty strange.  On the surface he seems to be supportive most of the time and takes an active interest in what exactly is going on with this kid.  However, there’s something real assholic about him.  For example he gives this speech to his party guests about how Kidman didn’t want to go out with him at first and didn’t want to marry him initially either but he kept after her until she finally said yes.  We’re talking a whole bunch of years of pursuit here which isn’t romantic.  Dude, she said no at least twice.  Get a fucking clue.

Huston also has a moment where he silently stares creepily out a window for a while.  We never see his point of view so we don’t know what he was looking at or really what he’s thinking either.  Perhaps they were trying to show his exasperation and confusion with what’s unfolded lately but the scene doesn’t convey that very well.

And then of course there’s the tirade this guy goes on when the boy kicks the back of his chair too many times.  Huston goes ballistic chasing the kid around the apartment, moving the grand piano into a doorway and then climbing over it (I have no idea why he moved it there in the first place), he grabs the boy by the back of the shirt and then spanks the shit out of him.  Three people need to hold him back several times throughout because he won’t give it up.  He’s a dedicated man, that’s firmly established.

The actor who plays the ten year old boy though (Cameron Bright (Juno, Twilight movies)) is the worst.  He shows no emotion whatsoever.  He’ll say “I love you” and it’ll fall straight to the floor.  He never smiles, raises his voice, shows concern, laughs, cries or anything else that a human being does.  He probably has the funniest line in the movie though where he says to his mom “I’m not your stupid son anymore”.  What a little bastard.

Going the emotionless route was a bad decision but it actually fits considering where the film eventually goes.  Spoilers from here on out (but you might want to read this anyway) The boy isn’t really the reincarnation of Kidman’s dead husband.  What?!  Yes!  He found a treasure trove of their old love letters (long story, don’t have time to go into it) and decided to steal this dead guy’s identity for…some…reason.  Well here’s the deal, the kid is an utter psychopath.  Like totally fucked in the head one of the craziest characters to ever be put in a movie.  He has no motivation.  It’s not like we see that his home life is unbearable or that he gets picked on at school or any goddamn thing that makes him want to escape from himself.  Sex could be a driver with that bathtub part but he stays curled up in his corner and otherwise only kisses Kidman once in a later scene.

The cold, lethargic behavior and complete detachment from reality suddenly make sense now.  The boy has a total lack of empathy which falls in line with his psychosis.  He doesn’t seem to realize how badly he’s fucking with not only Kidman’s life but all those around her.  Her engagement breaks up, her family and friends think she’s insane for believing this boy is her deceased husband and he strings Kidman along to the point where she’s gonna run away and start her life over with him.  And what about the kid’s parents who must be really upset but it’s unclear because they’re only in two or three scenes.

Amazingly Kidman and Huston reconcile and even get married after this fiasco.  But this fuckin’ ass wipe has fucked with Kidman’s mind so hard that she can’t let her dead husband go and stands sobbing on the beach in her wedding dress looking like she’s contemplating suicide.  Huston is able to make her reconsider but it’s obvious she can’t go on like this.  The only way this ends is with her death sometime after the credits.

Jesus, what a bizarre picture.  And what the fuck does the title mean anyway?  It’s so generic and unconnected to the events of the film even in a metaphorical way.

I dunno guys.  This is maybe a half decent Twilight Zone episode but not a serious dramatic feature length production.  This is one awful inexplicable movie for the ages.